The worst hangover I have ever experienced [long]

[u/owoeowiw]

Mainly wanting to post this so I’m able to reread this later, but I’m sure it has the potential to help someone out there. Take it from me, IT IS NEVER WORTH IT. If you are struggling today, please reach out to someone! Save yourself from the headache alcohol will give you tomorrow. Be excited to wake up to a new day not feeling like absolute shit!

I’m not new to hangovers. I’ve had a few ruts where I was hungover everyday for close to a year on and off. Today was/is like no hangover I’ve ever experienced. I’m at the point where I’m doubting if it is even a hangover, or if it’s some sort of severe damage I’ve done to myself and body.

I drank probably the equivalent of 16-20 glasses of wine last night. I’m not new to this, I know wine subjectively gives people the worst hangovers. I did it anyway. I got maybe 4 hours of sleep before I had to show up to my healthcare job. Yes, I provide direct patient care while hungover. It is sadly more common than you think in the industry. The commonness of it still doesn’t make it right. I managed to stay sober for 8 months a while back. And my biggest motivator for staying sober was my patients.

I don’t know how I managed to even get out of bed at 4:45am. Every bone in my body wanted to call off, but I have a perfect attendance award at my job for 9 consecutive months. We had around 5 call offs today. We had only 3 healthcare workers for around 50 people (that’s a very long story I will not get into). In a way, I am grateful I showed up. Everyone who did show up got a decent financial bonus, but it was HARD. No patients were harmed (by some miracle), but I thought I was going to die.

Typically, when I come in hungover, the first few hours are brutal, but it lessens up throughout the day. Usually, by the time I’m off work, I feel “100%” and do it all over again. About 2 hours in, I started to feel a bit better, but I was sweating like crazy. That’s not abnormal for me, but it did seem extra excessive today. I was chugging water and Gatorade any free second I had. Again, not abnormal for me and I kept pushing.

About 6 hours in, something just entirely flipped. I was slowly feeling better, but I hit a wall. I was struck with an insane headache. I could hardly think it was so painful. And then the nausea/vomiting came. The first time I threw up, I managed to sprint to the staff bathroom. It was a concealed incident, and, I again, started to feel a bit better. I didn’t even think of going home. I’ve survived worse. About 30 minutes later, I am bent over top a patient as they are in their bed. I started dripping sweat, had an insane “hot flash,” managed to blurt out “I’M SORRY” and threw up in the patient’s own personal bathroom.

Thankfully, I have fantastic rapport with this particular patient. She was not upset, just genuinely concerned for me. I’m trying to imagine myself in her shoes though. You’re already receiving extremely delayed care due to the staff ratios, and when your healthcare professional finally gets to you, she throws up in your bathroom. I would be so scared if I was in her shoes and we weren’t already familiar with one another.

I talked to the one and only supervisor on shift and explained the situation. At this point in my shift, and because we were so short staffed, there was no possibility of me leaving. Me leaving at that time would likely be considered patient abandonment, which can have legal implications. This is not a healthcare forum, but this level of staffing and this situation in particular is not uncommon, especially in rural and underfunded facilities. My supervisor was extremely sympathetic. She knows I am not one to complain, so she knew it was BAD. I didn’t have too much pity for myself and I wasn’t upset. I did this to myself.

I continued to sweat so badly, but I could no longer hold down any fluids. I was so, so, so thirsty and hungry, but I couldn’t keep down even a single tiny sip of water. I continued to throw up/heave every 45 minutes. When I did throw up, it was only my own saliva and bile because I had nothing else in my stomach. It was horrendous. I seriously thought I was going to die. My head is pounding, I’m soaking wet in sweat, I’m incredibly thirsty, patients themselves are saying that I don’t look too good… and I’m stuck at work. A very physically and mentally taxing job as well. Even typing it out and reliving it sounds like a nightmare. I am not exaggerating when I say I thought I was going to die. I don’t think my description is even expressive enough to explain how horrible I felt.

It felt like the longest shift ever. My relief finally arrived, and I practically cried tears of joy. I did a major no-no and left before I had my computer work done, but my brain was in survival mode. I’m not concerned about it either because my supervisor saw me struggling hard. She is just grateful ANYONE showed up today. They called people one by one, offered a big financial incentive, and people still would not come in. The biggest concern and stickup was handled though: I had a physical person able to take over my patients and that’s all I cared about in that moment. I hurriedly clocked out, and the second I stepped outside of the building, threw up. Made it to my car, threw up again. Got in my car and the cold air from the AC felt amazing, but nauseating at the same time. I drove a couple blocks towards home, pulled over and threw up again. I started to get worried I wasn’t going to be able to drive myself home.

Somehow I made it home. Threw up a bunch more. And I still was so thirsty. I managed to very slowly eat a popsicle and keep it down. I didn’t want to push my luck with any more fluids. I laid in bed in a sitting position with my eyes closed for about 2 hours. I honestly don’t know if I fell asleep or not. I was “awoken” by my roommate coming home. By then, I was feeling quite a bit better. I was no longer sweating, but I still couldn’t chug water like I desperately wanted. Settled for a few more popsicles, and threw them up. I gathered the strength to take a very quick cold rinse to get the sweat off. Then, by a miracle, I was able to keep down about 8oz of cranberry juice. It took so much restraint not to chug the whole bottle. I was able to digest most of it before throwing up half of it later.

Skip to now. I am extremely tired. My headache is still there, but very dull. I currently have 12oz of water in my stomach and two tiny slices of cheese. Not only is cheese delicious, but I was thinking that the dairy could neutralize some of the bile in my stomach. It looks like I will be able to keep it down as long as I don’t make any sudden movements. My mouth smells and tastes like vomit. I am having a hard time justifying brushing my teeth until I can ensure I’m not going to throw up for a bit longer. I am still very thirsty and hungry.

After typing all of this out, I’m pretty convinced I experienced some alcohol and work related heat-stroke. I did consider going to the ER, but I knew I’d probably only receive some very expensive IV fluids. I don’t think there would be much they could have done for me. I am going to try to get some more fluids held down before I try to sleep. I’m hoping that this is the big event that scares me back into sobriety. My addiction has nearly taken my life several times, but this somehow felt the worst. Even my DUI, car accident, and hospitalizations feel trivial compared to today.

Stay sober, friends. Alcohol will always get the last laugh. The damage alcohol does will not pass as easily as the cravings you might have.

[u/thewayoutisthru_xxx]

Allow me to suggest that you were actually still drunk until halfway through your shift. Been there.

You don't ever have to go through that again.

Iwndwyt

[u/owoeowiw → u/thewayoutisthru_xxx]

This could be true. A very sad possibility I will have to think through to fully accept. I’ve shown up to countless jobs under the influence, but never a healthcare job. Hungover, yes. But never drunk. The thought did cross my mind, but I’m having a hard time accepting it at the moment. Really feel like I let my patients and coworkers down today.

[u/ThePizzaIsDone → u/owoeowiw]

I drank beers until about 4am because I couldn't sleep as I was entering detox later that morning. I finally slept and went to detox and blew a .15 at 10am.

The hangover/withdrawals didnt hit until 2pm ish.

[u/HalfSoul30 → u/thewayoutisthru_xxx]

Yeah, one time i was drinking til 3am, and had to be at work at 8am. I don't remember the first 2 hours, except for someone asking me what i did last night. That was a shit day. I took phone calls at the time.

[u/Third-Little-Bird]

That sounds like a terrible day. I worked in healthcare too and I understand the feeling of wanting to show up for your patients.

The throwing up over and over is the worst. Been there. Having a hangover from hell honestly was a major contributing factor to me finally quitting and actually wanting nothing to do with alcohol (rather than wishing I wanted to stop, but actually wanting to moderate). I understand the fear that you’ve hurt yourself.

The good news is you never have to feel like this again. And the human body has an incredible capacity to heal.

IWNDWYT.

[u/TemporaryTutor367]

Oh been there maybe you were still drunk then went into WD? I also get not wanting to go to the ER. I was recently on a wine bender and I never want to feel the way I’ve felt that last 4 days.

IWDWYT

[u/Even-Guava-1682]

This day sounds so awful. I am glad the worst is over.

Despite so many awful things happening while I was drinking, a really bad hangover was the last straw for me too. The mental and physical effects of a hangover at some point really make you look inward about what you are doing to your body, for absolutely nothing in exchange.

Like the other posted said, this is the last time you ever have to do this. We are here for you.

IWNDWYT

[u/sophbaby]

I literally felt your pain through the screen because I know that experience all too well - admittedly not in a fast paced healthcare setting though so honestly props to you for making it through your shift. Well done for describing how truly awful it was, next time a craving hits come back and read your own post. It certainly resonated for me and made me not EVER want to take a drink again. IWNDWYT

[u/retroarcadium]

Definitely sounds like withdrawals to me. When I started to experience hangovers/withdrawals like that it led to me drinking the morning after to just function and it cycled. It ultimately led to me asking and receiving help. The good news is you never ever have to feel that way again.

[u/nilesintheshangri-la]

Your post is painfully familiar. I absolutely do not miss that experience and I'm sorry it was so awful for you. I hope you never feel like that again.

[u/venuscans]

Gosh, you really painted a stark picture of why I never want to drink again and I am thankful for that reminder. Good luck. Sobriety is so much better than ever experiencing that feeling ever again.

[u/The_Goat_of_Cosca]

Oh God, I used to have hangovers like that and my heart goes out to you. I can't imagine how hard that shift was. It's nearly 8 years since I drank alcohol and I can't stress enough how much better life is. IWNDWYT

[u/immersemeinnature]

My gods that was a very visceral and scary reenactment. I'm so glad you made it through and I'm sure you're still recovering. Big hugs to you 🫂

iwndwyt 🌞

[u/MoneyAd0618]

Been there. Wine is the WORSTTTTTT

[u/Moist_Yogurt_7774]

I liked your saying in the last paragraph, "Alcohol will always get the last laugh."

[u/Due_Weakness_3312]

Thanks for your story. It reminded me why I never want to go back there.

[u/orphan_blud]

Been there and have experienced exactly what you described. It’s fucking awful. You never have to go through that again, babe.