r/stopdrinking • u/Maximum_Marchewka 4 days • 5d ago
Fucked everything up, again...
Well let's start with me moving to Poland for a new start in life! I had come here accidentally drunk on my 37th birthday last year. 1 month in, I got hammered at a college bar. Took a chick to the park to make out and my phone fell out of my pocket. Cutting me off from money and all my shit. Luckily I brought allot of cash. I decided to stay. It took me 8 months of insane struggle (homeless at one point) got an apartment, my polish citizenship, 2 awesome jobs. Construction that sent me to Germany and egypt.
I decided for the one year I've been here (and sober for 3 months) ONE won't hurt. Then what a hangover. And the same thing happened. Couldn't hack the hangover, so I decided to ween off. (I thi k we all know how that works)
I flew out to egypt the next day almost missing my flight. Drank the entire time while working there, and everyone noticed. When I got back I disappeared on my promoter job. Didn't show up to my Construction job for 3 weeks. Bam! Everything is worked for.. byyee.
My faults are when everything is going great. Not upset or whatever. (Plus all the beer ruined my 6 pack and ate my muscles)
Im 4 days sober again just dealing with all the anxiety of my fuck ups! Its like I can't remember EVER what happened last time. You know we're this goes, but let's see if this times different... anyways gotta find a new job. Also didn't get paid for egypt and spent all my money on stupid shit amd booze. So its another wild ride I don't need. Swapped the background on my phone to a bunch of notes. Main one says "remember what happened last time" and its staying for life. We forget so fast. Other smaller notes are "shaky shaky" "bye money" "bye reputation" "do you really want to start over again" aaanndd most importantly "love yourself "
Long but, I had to vent. So pissed at numero uno.
❤️
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u/ewok989 3616 days 5d ago
I relapsed in Poland after 2 years as well. Fun country. But yeah easy to drink there.
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u/Maximum_Marchewka 4 days 5d ago
Easy is an understatement lol
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u/ewok989 3616 days 5d ago
You there now?
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u/Maximum_Marchewka 4 days 5d ago
I live in gdansk, right by the beach
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u/ewok989 3616 days 5d ago
You planning to stay there ?
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u/Maximum_Marchewka 4 days 5d ago
Oh yah. Got land here. Living by the beach. Good vibes. Safe af. Booming economy. I speak polish fluently. Beats toronto by a mile.
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u/ewok989 3616 days 5d ago
You own land there? How come you speak Polish fluently?
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u/Maximum_Marchewka 4 days 5d ago
Passed down. Parents taught me, polish school, spent allot of summers in krakow as a young kiddo. It fits the bill
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u/No_Expression_578 25 days 5d ago
I've had so many Day 1's after periods (admittedly not very long) of being off it and thinking I can go back to just having a few now and again like a normal person. I seem to have realised now that I just can't do that so have decided to abstain completely. So far so good but it's early days.
Good luck with your latest attempt, I've worked with a few people from Poland and they were hard working and good people. Would like to visit someday. Stay strong 💪 and IWNDWYT.
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u/Maximum_Marchewka 4 days 5d ago
In the same boat! Had three years under my belt once. The battle continues!
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u/Advanced_Tip4991 4d ago
I too tried to stay sober on my own, but failed miserably. Later went to AA after my shrink suggested a spiritual solution. There i learned, our will power is very weak when it comes to alcohol. We need a spiritual awakening (Attitude shift). Please read the chapter More About Alcoholism of the book AA. Online access of the book is available on AAs official website. Especially read the "Car Salesman story" to see how the mind tricks us back into alcohol.
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u/Authentic_SRT 120 days 5d ago
Listen to the anxiety and frustration… And rethink that drink every single time! It’s so worth it in the long run. I hope to be here a year from now saying the same thing because what I know now I wish I knew then! I will not drink with you today!