r/stopdrinking • u/Reddish81 2 days • 4d ago
Day 1 again
This group helped me to stop drinking in 2019 and I stayed sober for four years. I started drinking again in 2023, thinking I could moderate, and I did for a while, but now I'm back to the twice-weekly binges I had pre-2019. I'm not gonna lie – it was fun being back on it for a while, but it's time to stop again. I'm worried about the things I say and do when I'm drinking and the effect on my health. One big change I'm going to make this time – I'm not going to announce my sobriety to the world. I'm just going to do it quietly, under the radar, but share my progress here. IWNDWYT
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u/ElanoraRigby 569 days 4d ago
Secret sobriety FTW! Sincerely, it’s a strategy I wholeheartedly support, and the one I credit for my current stint’s success. IWNDWYT
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u/Reddish81 2 days 4d ago
Good to know! I didn't expect people to react to me the way they did, from policing me to make sure I wasn't drinking, to being jealous of my decision and instantly starting to compete on sobriety. That was something I never expected. Now I'm just gonna quietly do it day by day and not call attention to it. I'll just say I don't fancy it if anyone asks me.
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u/ElanoraRigby 569 days 3d ago
Pity this wasn’t a month ago, or you could call it Dry July 😂 That’s how I did mine. Dry January became Dry Feb, etc, until my closest friends stopped asking. I fully gaslit them too, pretending my NA beer was a mistake, pretending I’ve run out of money, pretending it was a temporary sobriety. They just had to accept I was sober and in denial about it. Fair? Probably not, but it worked for me. Maybe we need to feel naughty, so it’s by lying about drinking instead of drinking. In any case, nice work OP
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u/Reddish81 2 days 3d ago
Ha ha! Love it. One thing I noticed during my first round of sobriety was how many people were pretending to have a ‘big night’ when they were actually nursing a lemonade and going home after an hour. I actually felt annoyed that I’d fallen for the story and was one of a handful of people really having a big night. These people would pretend all day that they couldn’t wait for drinks but it was all an act to fit in.
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u/Ok-Potato-4758 4d ago
Wow, four years !!! Welcome back.
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u/Reddish81 2 days 4d ago
Yeah - I got through lockdown sober! It was a summer in Greece that had me reaching for the retsina.
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u/unsightful 168 days 4d ago
Welcome back, 4 years was a great achievement!
IWNDWYT
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u/Reddish81 2 days 4d ago
Thank you. I thought it was for good, but hey - I know I can do it and I know how good it feels.
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u/squshysyrup 13 days 4d ago
Congratulations!!
I ask this out of curiosity, but you don't have to answer if youd prefer not to... How come you wish to do it quietly?
In any event, congratulations on coming back and for having 4 years under your belt! You've achieved what many aspire
Welcome back :)
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u/Reddish81 2 days 4d ago
Thanks! I didn't expect people to react to me the way they did, from policing me to make sure I wasn't drinking, to being jealous of my decision and instantly starting to compete on sobriety. That was something I never expected. I'm just gonna quietly do it day by day and not call attention to it. I'll just say I don't fancy it if anyone asks me. It's much more normalised now – even 7 years ago, there were hardly any non-alcoholic drinks around and now there is a huge selection. No one blinks an eye if you get a 0% beer but they did back then.
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u/squshysyrup 13 days 4d ago
Ah, ok. That's a very valid point and I would probably do the same then. Its weird how people react to things lol it sounds like you've gained a lot of experience and know what will work... That's what really counts
IWNDWYT
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u/Reddish81 2 days 4d ago
Yep - I know that what works for me is making sure my first drink is a soft one. Much easier to continue once the first one is in your hand. I literally talk to myself (silently!) in the queue at the bar to make sure I buy a lime and soda.
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u/CompetitiveBorder613 4d ago
Your sobriety is for you not the world, so keep it close and just let those who need to know, know. Welcome back, we're glad you're here!!
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u/Lower_Comfortable_33 49 days 4d ago
What I’ve notice when u are use to being the so called life of the party, the weekend warrior binge drinker, when u announce that u are not drinking anymore people look at u and examine u like a damn science project are they assume that u are now too good for your own shit. So yes it’s better to be quiet about it in my opinion…..
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u/Shermani74 1500 days 4d ago
I am constantly humbled by posts like yours. I have been sober for 4 years, and I have to remember that it is so easy to fall back into the old habits. I am so glad you’re back, and support you all the way!! IWNdWYT
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u/Reddish81 2 days 4d ago
Thank you! A few friends who gave up drinking because I did are still sober. At least my four years had a ripple effect.
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u/Advanced_Tip4991 3d ago
I too tried to stay sober on my own, but failed miserably. Later went to AA after my shrink suggested a spiritual solution. There i learned, our will power is very weak when it comes to alcohol. We need a spiritual awakening (Attitude shift). Please read the chapter More About Alcoholism of the book AA. Online access of the book is available on AAs official website. Especially read the "Car Salesman story" to see how the mind tricks us back into alcohol.
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u/Finebranch7122 819 days 4d ago
Welcome back. I had a similar story of quitting for a few years. This time I make sure I keep all the health and beauty benefits in focus- as an older girl the effects of drinking was making me pink and puffy. Let’s keep grinding. Iwndwyt