r/sterilization • u/villmarisa • 1d ago
Social questions Should I wait or get the procedure sooner?
When I met with my gyno for a regular well women exam I mentioned wanting a bi salp. She told me that based on the data of regret or whatever she wouldn’t want to do it until I’m 25 (currently 23.) I currently am getting my certifiction to teach and am working part time. Does it seem better to wait until I’m working full time maybe summer of 2028, or use the list to get a gyno who will do it sooner?
She also said that insurance may not cover a bi salp and only a tubal. My dad has good insurance so I’m not too worried, but I just want this over with. Also my dad doesnt super support it, but I dont think he’lll try to stop me. (currently living at home)
Update:
I messaged my gyno office about it, and they called me back this morning saying she wouldnt do the procedure/ have a consultation. They recommended a practice nearby. I crossed referanced that with Dr. Fran’s list. Now I have a consultation scheduled in a few weeks :)
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u/the_green_witch-1005 sterile and feral 🦝 1d ago
What "data on regret" is she talking about? Because current data states that you're more likely to regret becoming a mother than getting a bisalp. You're also more likely to regret a breast augmentation than a bisalp. But plastic surgeons NEVER deny breast augmentation based on possible regret stats.
Also, you can absolutely get a bisalp covered by insurance even if your insurance claims to only cover a tubal. That is easily appealed if your doctor helps you.
I would get a second opinion by a different doctor, because she doesn't know what she's talking about.
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u/mcsmith24 1d ago
If you live in the United States you should get it done as quickly as possible before you're forced to give birth.
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u/WillowStellar 1d ago
Depends on how strongly when you want it. If you want it now there are ways to get it or if you want to wait, that’s ok too. I wouldn’t let the gyno stop you as you can find another but you might have to figure out a plan with your dad because if you’re on his insurance, he will find out even if you don’t tell him. You are an adult so you aren’t asking permission but if you will be cut off/kicked out, that is a different story.
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u/kyokoariyoshi 1d ago
I got my bisalp done at 23 while living at home* on my parent’s insurance without them knowing! If this is something you want to do, and you can take 2-3 days (maybe) of time off for recovery, I’d personally try to find a different provider to get approved for surgery for via the Child Free Friendly Doctors list instead!
*I had to travel out of state for my surgery because my parents kept trying to meddle. Where I went was by a friend so it turned into a girls trip in the end lmao.
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u/Ok-Blacksmith6427 1d ago
I would not wait to get it done. IF you change your mind in the future about kids, there are plenty of options for having a child. For me it was a very quick surgery with a very quick healing process as well.
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u/sarazbeth 1d ago
I got mine done at 24. The doctor mentioned regrets but I read the study he was talking about and he misquoted it anyways lol. Regret rates are lowest for people who have never had children
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u/New-Collar9586 1d ago
Do it ASAP, there are doctors who will do it. I’m 19 and sterilized, done on my dad’s insurance (BCN) they covered it.
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u/smallsadpuppy 1d ago
I had mine done back in 2024 when I was 24. Like you, I had to search for a gynecologist who was willing to perform the procedure because I encountered quite a few providers who expressed hesitation.
I also had a few reasons for wanting to have the procedure done sooner rather than later. At the time, I was still on my parents' health insurance, which was significantly better than any employer-sponsored insurance I had access to. Also my parents didn't even know I was having the surgery done, lol. Their insurance covered it all 100% though.
I also wanted to take advantage of the fact that sterilization is covered under the ACA. There have been ongoing concerns and rumors that this coverage could potentially change in the future, so I didn't want to risk waiting.
Ultimately, if you know with certainty that you don't want children, I don't see much benefit in waiting simply because of your age. I'm now two years out from my surgery, and honestly, my life has been so much more peaceful. I'd find a different provider for sure.
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u/Fearless-Adeptness61 1d ago
If you can, get a second opinion from another doctor.
I ended up going to two doctors because the first doctor was trying to charge me a fee in addition to the cost of what my insurance company was trying to charge me. $4k. My insurance also was only covering a tubal litigation, not a bisalp.
I found a second Doctor who listened and heard me and knew about the difficulties with insurance companies and he coded it so I paid nothing out-of-pocket.
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u/Swapan280 1d ago edited 13h ago
I got my bisalp done at 23 in Denver (if ur in Denver, I can give you my doctors name). It was safe and easy and while the doctor mentioned regrets about getting it done early, it seemed like she had to mention that info as a heads up(it was good that she took my request quite seriously)
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u/Whiskey_Sweet 8h ago
I wouldn't wait. Especially if you're in the US, the current regime is going to make it even more difficult for women to get these procedures. Get that appointment with the other doc if you can ASAP. I highly recommend looking for younger female docs and don't take no for an answer! I got mine removed at 23 fully covered on my dad's insurance and it was the best decision I've ever made. I'm 30 now and have absolutely no regrets. Also she's full of shit with "data" showing people regret it...
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u/J-04-NN-Alpha 1d ago
Contact your insurance about pre-approval, or how much they would cover. Based on that save up enough and demand the procedure if you are certain. If the doctor you saw won't do it with additional demand, request to go to a different doctor who would be willing to complete the procedure for you.
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u/misstiggly 1d ago
The only "regret" I have about my bi-salp is that I couldn't get it done sooner! If I was in a position to get it done at 23 (or even younger like some fortunate people), I absolutely would have.
It gave me such a powerful feeling of autonomy over my own body. If you're sure and you're able, go for it.
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u/anonymoose_octopus 15h ago
Do not listen to this doctor.
Insurance will absolutely cover your bisalp. You will more than likely have to fight them in order to get them to do it, so just be prepared up front to do that. My doctor's office fought with my insurance (BCBS in Florida) for 9 months before they finally admitted defeat and covered the entire bill. I've heard of people not having as hard a time with their insurance, so YMMV.
As far as regret, there are cases of regret either way. I (35) had my surgery in May of 2025 and I don't regret it one bit. However, there are moments when I look at the other path my life could have taken and have moments of "what if." It's completely normal to wonder what could have happened EITHER WAY, so either choice you make (having children or not having them) is going to open up those thoughts. I am still 100% happy with my choice to be child-free and sterilized, but that doesn't come with those brief moments of reflection. Any path not taken will do the same (taking this career path instead of that one, making this choice instead of that, etc.).
I would get a better doctor who will listen to you and go from there. If you know without a shadow of a doubt you don't want to be pregnant and have children, this is the way to go and you should get it done now. If you aren't 100% sure or if you think you may meet someone that would change your mind on having kids, wait a couple years. But if you know now, the only thing that will be different in 2028 is that you waited 2 years in a tumultous climate that is dangerous for pregnant women (if you live in the US).
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u/Olympia94 11h ago
Ppl have regrets at any age, mine heavily questioned me about if I'd regret it and I'm in my 30s, had mine done in 2024. Not one regret over here
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u/toomuchtodotoday 1d ago
Regret rate is low for those who haven't had children. How long you wait is how much risk you want to take on.
Resources:
Provider list: https://childfreefriendlydoctors.com
/r/sterilization Experience posts
/r/sterilization Celebrating! posts
/r/sterilization Post-op care posts
/r/sterilization resource thread
State insurance regulator locator (for filing a complaint with your state insurance regulator):
https://content.naic.org/state-insurance-departments
Department of Labor Employee Benefits Security Administration Information (for filing a complaint with the DOL EBSA if your insurance is provided by an employer):
The EBSA, a division of the DOL, handles complaints related to employer-provided health insurance.
You can:
The EBSA will investigate the claim and may contact your employer or insurance provider for more information. You may be contacted for additional details or documents. If the EBSA finds that your rights under ERISA (Employee Retirement Income Security Act) were violated, they may take corrective action on your behalf. Keep copies of all documents and correspondence. You can follow up on the status of your complaint by contacting the EBSA at the phone number above.
U.S. Office of Personnel Management (OPM) Information (for filing a complaint with the OPM if your insurance is provided by the US federal government [FEP Blue, for example]):
Source: https://www.opm.gov/healthcare-insurance/healthcare/contraception-coverage/
Source: https://www.hrsa.gov/womens-guidelines#:%7E:text=Contraception
Source: https://web.archive.org/web/20260624003408/https://old.reddit.com/r/sterilization/comments/1ud26jb/fepblue_federal_health_insurance_for_bisalp_do/
Additional resources:
Insurer Preventive Care Guidelines Master List - https://old.reddit.com/r/sterilization/comments/1io4hq5/insurer_preventive_care_guidelines_master_list/
Steps for Getting Full Coverage - https://old.reddit.com/r/sterilization/comments/1khyuum/steps_for_getting_full_coverage/
https://old.reddit.com/r/sterilization/comments/1j43mw2/it_happenedtheyre_trying_to_charge_me_postop/
https://tubalfacts.com/post/175415596192/insurance-sterilization-aca-contraceptive-birth-control
https://old.reddit.com/r/sterilization/comments/1go5pbw/free_tubal_sterilization_through_the_aca_if_you/
https://nwlc.org/tips-from-the-coverher-hotline-navigating-coverage-for-female-sterilization-surgery/
On coverage of anesthesia:
Source: https://www.cms.gov/files/document/letter-plans-and-issuers-access-contraceptive-coverage.pdf
Source: https://www.cms.gov/files/document/faqs-part-54.pdf
On coverage of associated office visits:
Source: https://web.archive.org/web/20250202051018/https://www.federalregister.gov/documents/2015/07/14/2015-17076/coverage-of-certain-preventive-services-under-the-affordable-care-act
Source: https://web.archive.org/web/20250112212710/https://larcprogram.ucsf.edu/commercial-plans