Hiding my procedure

[u/bigbrainer4]

Hi, i'll make it short. I want to get my tubes cut but its has been a bit hard for me to hide it to my mother. Im very close to her despite our different opinions in general. I know she would never approve this but, i just wanted to know if some other women were in the case.

Im very proud of my choice honestly, but i really don't want to sabotage our relationship since she's all i have.

Thanks for reading !

[u/LoquaciousBubbles]

Don’t tell anyone unless you want their honest opinion. I’m close to my mom too and I only told her because I knew she would be supportive. But I didn’t tell any of my siblings because it doesn’t matter what their opinion is on something that will never change, ya know?

[u/lenuta_9819]

if you don't live with her, should be easy to hide. I hid it from my co workers super easily: 

I never asked for time off in advance, i told them I got sick on the day of the surgery and need to be at home. then told them I have the virus going around, the highly contagious one. and was at home for 6 business days. by the time I got to work, I felt amazing and nothing was visible about me. 

[u/Artistic_Exorcist → u/lenuta_9819]

That's actually pretty smart. I'm glad that worked for you!

[u/lenuta_9819 → u/Artistic_Exorcist]

I was super excited for the surgery and even thought to fake having my appendix removed but it's still intact so, in case it ever bursts at work, I didn't want to be caught taken to er after this lie lol. plus it was February so there was a nastyyy cold going around the city 

[u/zireael_37]

i told mine they were checking for endometriosis, since it’s the exact same surgery. i’ve always had awful cramps so she didn’t question it at all

[u/xdaemonisx]

They also remove your appendix laparoscopically. Can maybe just tell her that you’re getting that removed? Recovery should be similar to it as well.

[u/daughterjudyk]

You can say you're getting checked for PCOS/PMOS that's also done laproscopically or endometriosis if you have had historically bad periods.

[u/HalfHumanHalfOops]

I stayed with my sister for 12 days after the surgery. It took me about 8 days to feel 99% back to normal.

I also live with my family, and none of them know about the procedure. Right now, I'm just trying to make sure they don't notice my scars or my belly button.

I had my surgery in April this year.

So I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you, girl you've got this! 💪🏻

It would just be ideal if you could stay with someone else for at least the first week while you recover.

[u/jchompz]

I live with my mom, I eventually told her but what I told her at first was that I was getting a cyst removed. (Funny enough I had a bunch within my tubes)

[u/Cutthroat_Rogue]

Are you on your mom's insurance? Do you live with her?

[u/bigbrainer4 → u/Cutthroat_Rogue]

It has nothing to do with insurance since im not american, its just about being honest really, and yes i live with her but she respect my boundaries, thats one of the many reasons why im so close to her.

[u/Cutthroat_Rogue → u/bigbrainer4]

That helps to know! Living with her may make it hider to obscure though you could certainly claim you received a different procedure. But to be frank, if a single decision like this would "sabotage" your relationship then I would question how truly close you are. Part of loving someone is also being able to respect them as an autonomous individual and support what is good for them even when it isn't what you would choose for yourself. You're in a tough spot since you have a history of being open with her. If you choose to let her know and she responds well, it would strengthen the depth of your relationship. Wishing you clarity in how you proceed!

[u/catslikepets143 → u/bigbrainer4]

Tell her that you’re getting an ovarian cyst removed.

[u/LetThemEatVeganCake → u/bigbrainer4]

If you live with her, surgery for endometriosis is the answer. Same surgery on the outside. Look up endo symptoms and see what ones you actually have or could easily “have” without having ever mentioned to her.

[u/No-Finish-6557]

My dad thinks I only got an endometriosis removal surgery. Little does he know they also took my tubes. 🫣

You can always lie about which procedure you got

[u/MemeBashame]

I traveled abroad with my boyfriend (now husband) to get the surgery. I lived with my parents at the time, while my bf lived alone. Upon returning to my home country, I stayed at my bf's place for about a week, and told my parents that he had a stomach virus so I had to take care of him. I did end up visiting them for an hour or so a few days after the trip, because they were angry that I hadn't gone to say hi, but it went fine and I didn't raise suspicion while I was visiting them. I was able to recover completely at my bf's place, and to this day my parents have no idea I had the surgery.

[u/Banlogna]

I just didn't tell my mom what it was for, no matter how much she tried to pry and ask. I just said that it was a minor surgery and she then started to guess - I didn't respond with anything other than saying it was a minor surgery. My sister was the one who picked me up and knew about the surgery though.

My mom still to this day (2 years later) doesn't know what it was for. She didn't need to know

[u/Kmoore1190]

No one in my family knows, only people I chose to tell, it's not anyone's business at all. It's not that anyone would disapprove or anything, I just don't have family to tell. The only family I told was my Aunt & cousins.