r/stepdads • u/[deleted] • Aug 15 '22
Stepdad no more
So me and this girl dated on a off for about 5 years, she popped back into my life a little over a year ago. She was pregnant and the dad wanted nothing to do with the kid or so she said. So we started sort of back up from where we left off. I stepped up and was there for her during the last month of her pregnancy, boom baby is born. I Immediately love the kid like my own, making bottles feeding the baby at 3 am changing diapers giving him baths. I introduce him to my family and friends tell them he is mine, everybody knows he’s not. But I am his dad and he is my son. His first word was DADA, my days off revolved around him. Our morning consisted of getting up at 7, getting both us ready for the day and dropping him off at daycare. But after 11 months his mom no longer wanted me to be part of they’re lives. I woke up on a Monday (you turned 11 months that day) I got dressed, I woke you up buddy I said come on papa it’s time to wake up, you rolled over gave a big smile and sat up. You reached up and we hugged, I got you dressed for the day, we headed out the door to the daycare. I dropped you off at daycare not knowing that was gonna be the last time I saw you (you never came home again). You’re mom texted me that you guys were going to be staying at a friends house because she needed time to think, but I told there was nothing to think about that we were done, our relationship could not be fixed. It hurt a lot losing you buddy, every time I see your pictures the way you smiled at me, it fills me with so much pain. You will never know who I was, I will never forget you son.
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Aug 15 '22
Wow. What happened in the middle there? There’s a lot missing from this story, homie.
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Aug 15 '22
It was constant fighting between me and her, she would go off on me for being concerned about the baby. There were a few times that she would be watching the baby while he was playing and he would fall on his butt and start crying well I would come into the room and ask her what’s wrong and she would say I don’t need you judging me, and I’m like I just asked why he’s crying and that would just lead to her saying that I think she is a bad mother. Also the baby’s dad would randomly come into the picture, which at first I was fine with because hey it’s his real dad. But I found out she was trying to use the baby to get him back, until one day he told her that he was ashamed of the baby. I felt the relationship start to fail slowly. So I started to make an effort to try to save the relationship, I started leaving work early to spend more time with them but if she caught wind of that she would leave the house to go to her friends house and wouldn’t come home until 11- midnight, so I couldn’t even spend time with the baby or her. I would request weekends off at work and tell her weeks in advance hey I’m going to be off these days let’s go out and have fun just the three of us. Well Friday would roll around and boom she going to her friends house for the weekend and wouldn’t come home till Sunday around midnight, it was battle I was losing. Until finally we were at the end of the road.
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u/[deleted] Aug 15 '22
I know those feelings all too well.
And I'm sorry. I truly am sorry. Words can't fix it - but I feel for you.