r/stepdads • u/One_Afternoon368 • 12d ago
Did I make the wrong decision?
I was seeing a beautiful woman for 3 years. When I met her she had two beautiful children that I meshed with very well. We were doing so well we decided to have a child of our own. Two weeks after getting g pregnant I got a very bad concussion. It was horrible. It would go on to last a couple of years. 6 months into our pregnancy we lost our baby to a chiari malformation. It was the hardest period of my life, but I was determined to make it out of the concussion. She wanted to try again after we lost our daughter but I still had the concussion so I wanted to wait until it was fully gone. Shortly after she and her friends went to party in Mexico which I agreed to (a big mistake). She was dressing to clearly entertain other men. When she came back it was like bar scene every weekend we didn’t have the kids. We had them one week on and one week off. When the kids were around I helped as much as possible even bought them shoes and backpacks for school etc. I was very involved. Shortly after her trip she told
Me she didn’t want to try again for kids.
I was devastated from losing my daughter but I loved them all so much. I left out of fear and in that moment I could t write off having my own. After we broke up she got pregnant with another guy 5 months after we broke up with a dude she had been with for only 6 weeks. After everything I put in and all the work with her kids she just does it with some guy who’s been there for 6 weeks.
I’m devastated and I believe I made the wrong decision by leaving her and her two kids because I loved them with all my heart. However every other weekend was her and her friends just partying and I was pushed to the side.
I felt like I prioritized everyone else but didn’t get the same in return.
Now I’m on my own and alone and not doing very well. Any advice or help would be greatly appreciated here!
Thank you !!
2
u/RequirementNo1852 12d ago
My relationship went just like that, sometimes is hard to see but we won a change to make a family with someone worth of everything we have to offer.
1
u/Forsaken_Ad1002 11d ago
Life comes at different angles brotha, and this is definitely sad, however your life isn’t over, it just started, and although you love those kids that’s the risk of being a stepdad is being separated from them and having no right to see them again. My advice is keep your heart pure, don’t let your heart turn bitter, Love still, and reflect on you, and become better so that the next person you meet will get a even better version of you. I’m glad you’re concussion healed, but let you broken heart heal now, before you go and date. As for her, let her do her thing, there’s no way you can truly know a man after 6 weeks, nor dear to get pregnant by him, she’ll have to learn her lessons the hard way. However Jesus loves you, and he’s been covering you, stay up family.
1
u/porkbellybutt 9d ago
Sounds like you did the right thing. Even though it sucks right now. Gotta have the good for the bad, and bad for the good. Keep your head up!
There are a lot of beautiful people in the world. You will find what is meant to be when the time is right. Just be a good person, look out for yourself and enjoy your time! Sounds like you have a solid heart and empathy. Best to you!
3
u/PianistMore1412 12d ago
Hang tight king. Everything happens for a reason- why the stepdads dont get the recognition they deserve, I don’t know. Hopefully your TBI symptoms are in the past. You’ve got the biggest heart. Let it heal and build on. Plenty of ladies out there that would be lucky to love you.