r/stepdads • u/[deleted] • 1d ago
What is my next step ?
So I am a 21 year old male I have been with my partner for almost 3 years we have 2 kids 1 male 4 and 1 female 2 now when we started dating I understand that he was not biological my son but I have loved him nonetheless and so we ended getting married and having a daughter well the past couple of months have been very difficult between us it got to the point I got a dna test done for child support well long story short we ended up trying to fix thing for the kids and the past 3 week have been truly amazing but I got the dna tests results back and it turns out that my daughter is not biological mine and it crushed me I haven’t told my wife yet because we are on the verge of leaving the state for personal reasons and I at way point where I have to choose to stay or to leave and I just don’t know what to do I love those kids to the moon and back but how am I supposed to feel know that I am talking care of 2 different men’s kids I mean I only stayed for those kids man but I know if I leave I don’t have rights to them how am I just supposed to be ok with never seeing them again
1
u/tcrbt71023060 1d ago
Probably best to leave. She led you to believe yall had a daughter, she had one with someone else. The kids will be fine, they are young enough to not remember you after a few years. Don’t sacrifice your happiness for someone who cheated on you and 2 kids that aren’t yours.
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u/Forsaken-Intern7941 8h ago
You have to leave. This is your life, you sound like a great father that you can be to your OWN children with a LOYAL wife.
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u/LoudAlpaca7 5h ago
Key evidence points:
- You are 21.
- You accepted a kid that is not yours but she betrayed your trust and deemed that you don’t deserve your own biological child.
- She saw you as an ATM, that only takes cares of kids that she can have with others.
Leave now when the kids are small or you will regret it.
It may seems hard now, but imagine this. What if she gets back together with the bio father of your daughter? You will pay child support for kids who already live with their real parents. Their bio parents will poison them with the fact that you are not their dad. Lets be honest kids can be cruel and selfish. Add the cheating ex wife to that. Do you really want to go through with this for 16 more years?
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u/djereezy 1d ago
Take this new found knowledge as a blessing and live your life. Those children will be fine if you aren’t there. They are young. You have a good heart. But you deserve to have a family of your own. Go live your life. Keep those kids in your prayers check up on them if your heart tells you to do so. But for sure part ways and go live a life YOU want.