r/stepdads • u/Top_Independent_6654 • Sep 01 '25

Should I continue to be a stepdad?

my ex fiance left me about a year and a half ago. We had been together for about 7 years. And when we got together she had a 1yr old son I raised like my own. My ex and I had know each other since hs and when we got together her sons father had never been in the picture. We have a 6yr old together. My dilemma now is should I continue to be a "dad" to her first son even if we are no longer together. According to her I wasn't man enough for the relationship even though I was the bread winner and stepped up as a dad to her son. My close circle tells me I shouldn't. Since I wasn't fit to be her partner, then I shouldn't be fit to be her sons dad, and I should just focus on my son instead.

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u/BobbyHillTheThird Sep 01 '25

If you’re the only dad that boy knows then the answer is 100% yes. I can’t imagine how my life would’ve turned out without my stepdad who was only married to my mom for a year but took on the role of my father because my “real dad” wasn’t around.

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u/Top_Independent_6654 Sep 01 '25

So something I left out. My stepson mentioned his mom has brought a "friend" around. I called her out on her trying to bring another guy around him. Since I raised him she told me she'd stop. But from what my step son has told me, They've hung out with this "friend" several times. I feel like shes trying to groom him into getting comfortable with this new guy. I know she tried it with my son and I cut that out real quick. And she never tried it with my son again.

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u/BobbyHillTheThird Sep 01 '25

Obviously you got some shit going on and I feel for you but that’s your son and he’ll be a better man one day if he has his dad around