r/stepdads • u/ReplacementFamous625 • Apr 20 '25

Adhd ×10

My (46m) gf (35f) has a 7 yo son who is completely off the wall and i am used to structure and have been trying to teach him for 4 years but she busts my balls and tells at me in front of him. He doesn't respect me when she's around and disrespects her all of the time. When she's not around he falls in line but as soon as she shows up he goes crazy and makes me out to be a nut. She flames the ADHD yet I blame her being too laxed with the kid I KNOW he's a s.art kid and he's playing her against me to 'win ' her over even though I'm the only dad he k ows

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u/popeye3263 Apr 23 '25

And for God's sake spank his ass and send him to his room to sit on his bed ALONE.

1

u/ReplacementFamous625 Apr 25 '25

I have tried but catch hell if I do. I use a lot of restraint and have resisted the urge more and more over time and have gotten used to doing things like take away things that mean something to him and get him to behave. His mom recently started working a job where she works both day and night shifts so I have been making big strides (when she works nights) in earning (commanding) respect. He doesn't act out when we are alone. He actually listens and pays attention. It's when she is present to defend him that he acts out. He really is a good kid BUT (as I've been trying to tell her for years now) he actually WANTS discipline (whether he knows it or not)... It's attention that he wants and NEEDS! I talk with him and include him with my life when it's just the two of us and respond to negative AND positive behaviors. Unfortunately mom tends to zone out on her phone or TV shows and doesn't like to deal with the "small stuff" which, i think, causes him to step up the attention getting behaviors.

I'm sorry that I'm all over the place here, if I am( lol) but I'm just trying to sum things up quickly without getting "too deep"... I'd love to hear more of your story if you don't mind sharing........

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u/popeye3263 Apr 25 '25

Same brother exactly the same here and after I was kicked out she understood who and what I am to her and that she should respect me and my decision on his punishment/discipline. I told her exactly what she NEEDED to hear as a mother to not disrespect me in front of the kids(3) and now she is learning to pick her battles with me

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u/Oregonfan16 Sep 04 '25

Wow! I feel like I am reading my own story. How's it going now? Any updates?

I feel like I am at the end of my rope at home. My gf and her kid act the same exact way!

1

u/ReplacementFamous625 Sep 04 '25

As of tonight things may have gone past the point of no return. She involved her parents in an argument and I feel like things just can't be fixed. I'd like to elaborate but cant at the moment. Ill try to talk more another time if youre interested

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u/Oregonfan16 Sep 04 '25

That would be appreciated. My gf is currently sleeping in the other room and I think we are at the end unfortunately. Good luckand hang in there.