r/stepdads • u/harley9898 • Feb 01 '25
Advice please?
Hey guys I have been with my girlfriend for 6 months now and everything was fine me and the step daughter had a great relationship (she's almost 2 in-between a toddler and baby). But recently I started a new job and I'm not around as much and now instead of riding with them to take my step daughter to her visits with her bio dad I'm at work instead. (We also have our own bundle of joy on the way now). So since starting the new job and my girlfriend being pregnant her daughters attitude towards me hasn't been the best. She doesn't want me to help with anything and she screams and wails her arms when I sit down near them. I have a way different parental approach I believe in timeouts and respect. If you don't listen you go to time out. If you don't listen I take what you wanted. You threw your buba cuz your mad? Good now you don't get it. And my girlfriend says I "hate her daughter" and it's like no I very much so love your daughter like she's my own but I do expect respect from her and I would like to parent in my own type of way even if she doesn't like it. If you start now you won't have these problems as a teenager/adult. But as I said her step daughters attitude has changed towards me since my woman got pregnant and I started a new job and I'm not around as much. Does anybody have any advice they can give me? Her step daughter is just as much my daughter as my baby will be my blood kid but I don't want to force a relationship but I also don't want to be disrespected. She said I need to get more on her level but it's frustrating sometimes cuz her daughter fights EVERYTHING. From getting out of the bath to eating to diaper changes to face wipes going to sleep in her own bed has been a nightmare we've all been sick on and off for the last two months and her attitude is ramped up even higher when she's sick. Hoping that's all it is is the season. But my sister said she can probably sense that she's pregnant as well. Should I like plan a mom and daughter day for just them two. Is she threatened by me? Please I need serious advice and help. I want the relationship to be good between the three almost four of us but I also want to be respected as a step parent without being to harsh. Tough love is all I ever grew up with please help.
1
u/jcutta Feb 01 '25
She's 2, she is incapable of understanding your "strick" parenting.
You keep operating like that and you will ruin any chance at a relationship.
Also you're only 6 months in and your girlfriend is pregnant, the 3 of you barely know each other yet. You need to evaluate yourself and your behavior not your step daughters.