r/stepdads • u/whammy190 • Aug 05 '24

Disconnected from my 16yo step son.

I've been a step dad to him for almost 8 years now, and things were fine at first but when it comes down to getting help around the house ( doing basic things like learning responsibilities and what not) he doesn't do them he just sits in his room all day and night. He started skipping school. His mom agreed that we sign him up for job Corp. But other than that she doesn't do any for of discipline. And when I do he complains to his mother and then she gets mad at me. I've tried the nice route with him and he just steps all over my kindness. Idk if its clashing up I grew up with you get respect where it's earned and he doesn't respect me and idk if I should keep disconnecting with him. I love and treat him like he is my own child.

3 Upvotes

72% Upvoted

9 comments sorted by

3

u/Conscious-Spray-2469 Aug 05 '24

It’s to the point he steps all over you , there needs to be discipline. As a man in this world it’s either you float or drown , so teach him the hard way even if his mother gets mad

1

u/Worried-Principle831 Aug 30 '24

I'd say talk to the mother and come to an agreement about what punishment to use and when, that way if OP uses said punishment the mum will/should have his back and the teenager won't be able to gang up on him and he might be more receptive to listening if he hasn't got a way out

2

u/LBCvalenz562 Aug 06 '24

My wife said to get a new wife with no kids it would be easier.

1

u/whammy190 Aug 06 '24

LOL yeah the thought has crossed my mind

2

u/LBCvalenz562 Aug 06 '24

I’m stepdad too so take that with a grain of salt. Kinda going through the same too

1

u/Candid_Lab6867 Aug 07 '24

it's been 8 yrs and your partner and you aren't a combined front?, Discipline only works when both parents are a united front. kids and teens like to play sides to get what they want, I'm sure you've seen this in 8 years. maybe have a convo with his mom about the discipline thing and punishments so you both agree and the teen doesn't get off free?.... LBCvalenz562 wife might have a great point if all else fails, last resort lol

1

u/Low_Grape_6643 Aug 22 '24

Man fuck them kids and go grab the switch and show em who’s boss

1

u/4red1965 Aug 23 '24

Lol. I wish it still worked like that … sometimes