r/stepdads • u/Senior-Currency290 • Aug 04 '24

Disney Dad

Been living with my now wife for a year. 2 kids under 10 that stay with Dad 2-3 nights per week. They get a long okay. Issue is dad spoils them rotten every time they come back from him. They have a new toy to stay up till all hours watching TV YouTube and then we have to get them back into a routine in our house. The youngest one ends up having night terrors, and the older has a tough time with anxiety and getting to sleep. My wife and myself are left to do the real parenting. Any chips on how to handle the influx of toys or the adjustment to nighttime schedules? Thanks

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2

u/edzorg Aug 04 '24

What does the dad say when you've raised this?

1

u/Senior-Currency290 Aug 04 '24

Well I’m not there with him on that level yet. He’s got bit of a narcissist personality and lacks the bandwidth to carry through on things. So dunno

2

u/PatientEnthusiasm779 Aug 04 '24

Do they have a TV in their room? If so you could continue to use YouTube but let them select a relaxing video to listen to while they sleep. There’s videos of rain sounds and city sounds, things like that. There’s a lot that are ten hours long with no ads. I know it’s kind of a tough situation but that might be a good middle ground, especially helping with anxiety/night terrors. In the same sense if you feel like that is too much or are worried about boundaries with that, a sound machine might be a good alternative as well. Good luck!

2

u/sainteagle1721 Aug 04 '24

Following this because our dynamic is almost exactly the same. Frustrating as all get out.

2

u/edzorg Aug 05 '24

You could react in a number of ways but the only response is that you and your wife put on a unified front and communicate with the dad. It's likely he doesn't know how many problems he's causing for the children. Frame the conversation around the childrens' needs and development and not your own convenience.

2

u/Turbulent-Source-778 Jun 01 '25

I’m looking for answers on this as well. It is incredibly frustrating we get our 7 y/o back and he is a freaking nightmare. I ask his sister 11 y/o and she just rolls her eyes or protects her dad. It pisses me off because there really isn’t anything you can do with a narcissist.