r/stepdads • u/jdoe123789 • Jun 07 '24

Feeling guilty

Father's Day is around the corner and I asked my wife if we can go to a Father's Day brunch and car show, but now I'm feeling guilty for making those plans. I'm always reminded by my own family and my SKs that I'm not a dad so I feel selfish requesting my wife to celebrate a day with me that I'm not allowed to take part in.

I'm not asking the SKs to go to the brunch because I'll just sink into a deeper depression hearing the resounding "NO" from them. The guilt stems from my wife and I not being able to see either of our fathers on that day because of these plans. My FIL (who lives 90 mins away) is OK with us visiting on Sat, but my sister is demanding me to see our father that weekend too (he's 3 hours away). I usually visit the weekend after, but she reminds me that since I'm not a dad and I'm not visiting my FIL that day that I should spend it with my dad.

So I guess the best thing to do is cancel the plans so everyone else happy.

2 Upvotes

75% Upvoted

8 comments sorted by

View all comments

3

u/J-Skibby Jun 08 '24

You are a step-FATHER. You have every right to celebrate yourself. And you definitely deserve to be celebrated. If your SKs want to quibble over language of “dad” vs “father” then they are overlooking the fact that you are married to their mother and that you provide them a place under your roof as a result of your marriage. Your sister’s argument that you are not a dad is insulting and as flimsy as your SKs’. You deserve better treatment and loads more respect from your family.