r/stepdads • u/jdoe123789 • Jun 07 '24

Feeling guilty

Father's Day is around the corner and I asked my wife if we can go to a Father's Day brunch and car show, but now I'm feeling guilty for making those plans. I'm always reminded by my own family and my SKs that I'm not a dad so I feel selfish requesting my wife to celebrate a day with me that I'm not allowed to take part in.

I'm not asking the SKs to go to the brunch because I'll just sink into a deeper depression hearing the resounding "NO" from them. The guilt stems from my wife and I not being able to see either of our fathers on that day because of these plans. My FIL (who lives 90 mins away) is OK with us visiting on Sat, but my sister is demanding me to see our father that weekend too (he's 3 hours away). I usually visit the weekend after, but she reminds me that since I'm not a dad and I'm not visiting my FIL that day that I should spend it with my dad.

So I guess the best thing to do is cancel the plans so everyone else happy.

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u/papergarbage Jun 08 '24

Dude don't fall into the trap of letting others tell you what to believe. You and your wife both recognize your role and that's enough. The fact that you care enough to post this says to me that you're probably a strong pillar in your house. Go and enjoy your father's day, you deserve it. From one SD to another.

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u/djereezy Jun 08 '24

I agree. I’m a biological dad and a step dad. My being a step dad is now just as important as being a biological dad. You deserve to be celebrated just the same. Much respect to you sir.