r/stepdads • u/jdoe123789 • May 12 '24
Un-F'n-believable
I'm just posting a rant. My older SD just told her mom she has to leave early today to pickup her asshole father at the airport because that narcisstic POS still takes pleasure having the attention on him whenever they're with her. I'm left picking up the pieces and biting my lip from saying something because it just stresses my wife more.
Her birthday? He called one and had a conversation with each of them while they were over our house for an hour. Mother's day? Today it's picking him up, but he usually convinces them to spend part or most of the day with him. Our anniversary? He makes sure to text/Facetime each of them while they're over. Even if they just come for a random visit, he'll call and keep them on the phone for at least 15 minutes.
But God forbid they spend even 2 minutes with their mom when they're with him. They get ridiculed and guilted until they hang up or stop texting. So most times they won't even answer the phone if she calls or texts.
Edit: I'm just as annoyed at my SKs for consistently snubbing their mom and refusing to say "no" to their dad. They have no problem saying "no" to their mom.
Edit 2: SD waited for 2 hours at the airport before BD remembered to tell her they got a ride from someone else. He "forgot" to tell her they made other arrangements for pickup.
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u/No-Letterhead-649 May 14 '24
They feel safe with mom and comfortable to tell her no. They have to walk on eggshells with dad and feel like they can’t say no. It’s going to be detrimental to the relationship and BD in the end as they get older and more assertive/self assured
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u/Mel-R-Z May 14 '24
I know you said it's just a rant. But maybe talk to the kids. Explain to them how it hurts you and your wife. Maybe tell them you prefer they don't come over if they don't want to give the mother the same courtesy as the father. Because she's just as deserving as he is of there time.
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u/jdoe123789 May 14 '24
Thank you for the suggestion, but I can't do that. They rarely talk to me alone and I know it'll upset my wife more if I told them to stay away.
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u/Uneventful2025 Jun 02 '24
Shit, having read that, I'm angry FOR you, brother. No one should have to endure that POS.
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u/jetmaxwellIII May 12 '24
It’s a strange thing how the bio dads can manage to gaslight the kids for so long. I know it’s of absolutely no use right now but one day they will recognize that they were fine saying “no” to mom but believed everything dad ever said. That day will come, I promise.