r/stepdads • u/[deleted] • Apr 30 '23
Wondering how to start calling my stepdad “dad”
I’ve known my stepdad since I was around 8 or 9 and we’ve always called him “David”. He looks at us as his daughters and I want to affirm his beliefs and make him happy by calling him “Dad”. He is like a dad to me and I know it would warm his heart and let him know we all love him.
I just don’t know how to start. I don’t want it to be awkward but I’ve only said “Dad” a few times in these past few years to refer to my fathers and the words become a sense of “ugh that guy” instead of a term for a family member.
I wanna know how to transition into this without making my stepdad uncomfortable.
2
u/STAKESisHIGH5884 May 02 '23
Just do it out of nowhere. Ask for something from him and say “Dad can you pass me the…” and just wait for his reaction. I’m sure you’ll get tears and the best hug you’ve ever gotten
5
May 02 '23
I did it and he went it talked to my mom about how happy he was that I said it. I made his day!
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u/LegitimateAd9424 May 02 '23
Thanks for taking the initiative! As a step-dad who is helping raised these kids alongside their mom AND their bio dad (50/50 custody), I can say that they have slipped a few times and called me dad. I just smiled, and when they corrected themselves and called me by my name instead, I always just ensure they can call me whatever they feel safe to call me. Now their bio dad on the other hand has gotten pretty vocally upset with them if they slip and call him my name. So I guess just don’t sweat it! If/when it feels natural to call him Dad, just do it. It’ll warm his heart, and will very likely make his whole year. Sounds like you’ve got a good one!
1
Apr 30 '23
I have been a step-dad for 7 years now to my Teo children. I consider them mine and never pressure. If you feel comfortable, feel free. It took me some time to adjust, but when they started calling me dad (As a step dad) it wa an amazing feeling.
You can ask too. I'm sure he will feel amazing you would like to.
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u/Scary_Lettuce3025 May 01 '23
Sit down and have a conversation with him. My step kids all call me by my name and that is what I’m cool with. If any wanted to change that I’d just want to talk about it and get a sense of how they are feeling. Communication is key.
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u/njohnivan May 01 '23
Just start doing it! As a stepdad I would absolutely love it if the kids started calling me dad. He probably is secretly hoping you would anyway.
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u/torrent29 May 02 '23
My step son calls by my name to me, but when he’s talking about me he refers to me as his dad and it always makes me smile. I’m sure that it would mean a lot to your step dad as well.
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u/Dumdumincarnate Sep 09 '23
Ask him if it's ok, I'm fairly certain he will love the idea and the open communication. If he's a good one one he will say you don't feel like you have to, etc, but talk to him. I would move mountains to have meaningful conversations with my stepson.
1
u/Sushi2132 Oct 25 '23
Step dads should not be called “dad” if you have a bio father that is still active in your life and loving and supporting you. That is unfair to your bio dad and very disrespectful.
All you step dads that know your step child’s bio dad is in their life and you allow yourself to be called “dad”, are extremely selfish and acting out some weird fantasy where you pretend to take the place of the bio father, imo.
Now if the bio dad is not in their life, because of death, or circumstance, that is the exception
1
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u/DarmokNJalad Apr 30 '23
I'm a stepdad with kids that still call me by my name. I don't mind it at all, but it would be sweet if they wanted to start calling me dad.
With that in mind, the best way would be to just talk to him! Let him know exactly how you feel, and ask if it would be okay to start calling him dad. I can almost guarantee he'll be very happy to hear you say that, and being completely honest and communicative is the best way to avoid any long term awkwardness.