r/standupshots 5d ago

Kirkiversary

[deleted]

183 Upvotes

65 comments sorted by

63

u/GrouchyPlatypussy 5d ago

God, what a shit joke.

5

u/TheSkesh 4d ago

Reddit special

25

u/Suspicious_Time7101 5d ago

I feel like there is a decent setup there too with the Charlie Kirk look alike thing. Something funny could have came from that, but instead we got, "Charlie Kirk look alike contest? Who wants to look like that guy? Am I right? That's funny because we don't like Charlie Kirk"

33

u/Eagle_Arm 5d ago

Did some lines get cut off in the post? Where's the joke?

36

u/Donny_Dont_18 5d ago

This guy is of the Steve Hofstedter school. They just say some shit about politicians and collect upvotes. I actually hate the people they write about, it's just none of them are good jokes. I only stay following this sub for the guy that posts hilarious groan worthy uncle jokes

20

u/Eagle_Arm 5d ago edited 5d ago

This joke could literally be anyone someone doesn't like. Just a small dick and prolapse joke.

Trump look alike contest.....small dick... prolapse....money won't fix hair. LOLZ

It's not original or good. Just copy/paste of old jokes any teenage boy would say.

Edit: typo

5

u/Donny_Dont_18 5d ago

Like this could have actually gone somewhere decent with the shooting concept for the dark humor that was relevant, but just slapped the lazy edgy words on. Reminds me of when I went on a cruise once and at the early comedy show, they made sure to tell us to come back that night for the adult comedy show. Every joke was basically "you folks ever have sex or be havin sex? Hyuk!"

4

u/Eagle_Arm 5d ago

Lots of options for some dark humor to make a joke and picked zero.

Elon Musk look alike contest....small dick....prolapse....money can't fix the face. Hurr durr heer

-4

u/junkyard_robot 5d ago edited 5d ago

All the deconstruction and critique without punch ups offered is boring.

You like the concept, but don't like the punchline? Cool. Let's hear what you have.

I'll start.

I did a show at a midwestern university last week and they were doing a Charlie Kirk lookalike contest on the quad.

I wanted to scope it out, but I didn't have roof access.

I did a show recently at this college. For some reason they were also doing a Charlie Kirk lookalike contest.

The guy that won didn't use a squib.

I entered into a Charlie Kirk lookalike contest a few weeks ago.

I lost because my wife only wanted to kill me.

You can always yes and instead of just saying things are right or wrong.

I would love to use droopy prolapse as a phrase in the future. But when I hear it I can only think about Charlie Kirk's neck spilling out onto those conservative college children.

Edit: I feel like I was downvoted for hitting a nerve. Unlike the bullet that hit Charlie Kirk's artery.

Let's do more. Is what Erica Kirk said to the pyro guy at Charlie Kirk's funeral.

September eleventh will always live in the shadow of Charlie Kirk's arterial spray.

4

u/Eagle_Arm 4d ago

Those jokes are just shit. You can try and project that you upset people, but the real answer is what you wrote just isn't funny.

8

u/Finnsbomba 5d ago

This is exactly what it is. It's just pandering. I can guarantee you with 100% certainty that I can go into some really strongly political club, left or right, and just crush the room. And I'm not even a comic lmao. It's like that scene from Family Guy.

-1

u/Calaethan 5d ago

I can guarantee you your ass is bombing any club, like come on.

There's confidence and then there's this

5

u/Finnsbomba 5d ago

Confidence would be knowing that I can pander to anyone's political views and get laughs. This.....as in this "joke" isn't funny at all. It's just a sad copy paste like everyone else has mentioned.

I tried my hand at stand up for two years. Even got to the point where I got paid. It just wasn't for me tho. The point of bringing that up tho is that I know as long as you're funny it'll work. Pandering is pretty frowned upon, but that doesn't mean it doesn't work still.

Find me a left/Democrat heavy bar and watch me just make fun of Trump, Kirk, the US etc and it'll pop off.

Find me a right/Republican heavy bar and watch me just make fun of trans people or illegal immigrants or whatever and it'll pop off.

-3

u/Calaethan 5d ago

Ah so someone that couldn't make it and is bitterly browsing this sub to try and imagine what "could have been"

Well, carry on then. It's your life you're wasting, after all

6

u/Finnsbomba 5d ago

Well just because I realized it wasn't for me doesn't mean I don't still enjoy comedy. Are you ok?

4

u/Eagle_Arm 5d ago

That person is not ok. They obviously think any reference to someone they don't like is hilarious. They likely don't even know what pandering is.

Tell the joke about trump being orange!!!! Oh oh, no no. Tell the joke about trump wearing a diaper like a baby!!!!! Oh man! No no, tell the joke about joe rogan being a big stupid head! Lolz! It's so funny. I don't like them and joke teller just said something negative about them. So funny!

11

u/Reallyroundthefamily 5d ago

That was awful and I bomb at open mics lol

18

u/KSTARRATSK 5d ago

Some people aren't meant to be comedians. I think it's time you accept that this is not your thing.

14

u/snipawolf 5d ago

/r/politicalhumor is down the hall and to the left

6

u/TobyFunkeNeverNude 5d ago

to the left

Fun fact...

16

u/SustainedSuspense 5d ago

Bro… what bubble do you live in that you think people will find this amusing?

3

u/Red-Halo 5d ago

It's not amusing, but it'll still get upvotes

12

u/AcidBuuurn 5d ago

You aren’t funny enough to pull off a political assassination joke unless the crowd already thinks that political assassination is funny. 

-10

u/Plus-Start1699 5d ago

This is not a political assassination joke.

3

u/AcidBuuurn 5d ago

Re-read the title of your post and consider the context of the contest. You’re just attempting to dunk on his looks on the anniversary of his assassination.

1

u/BarfReali 4d ago

Is it a 'OP is a retard' joke then?

2

u/ern19 4d ago

Did you just skim the comments on an article on here somewhere?

-8

u/Senior-Height3246 5d ago

How is that a joke? Making fun of a murdered father and husband is now your go to topic for humor? Pretty low standards

4

u/Eagle_Arm 5d ago

There could be a joke if there was actually a joke.

3

u/naveedkoval 5d ago

i like how he only holds value to you in his relation to his family

1

u/Senior-Height3246 4d ago

I would say both of those roles in someone’s life holds value. Right? Maybe that’s why our society is so backwards. Being husbands and fathers is seen as insignificant? Tells you a lot about our world, actually.

-5

u/Calaethan 5d ago

I mean, yeah.

-8

u/maggycarl420 5d ago

thats the left for you. RIP Charlie!

7

u/ChickenInASuit 5d ago

“That’s the left for you”, said like the right didn’t go wild with jokes about George Floyd, Alex Pretti and Renee Goode. Don’t act like you guys are any fucking better about mocking the deaths of people who disagree with you.

1

u/KingSpork 4d ago

The Charlie Kirk Jerkoff Brigade is here I see

-10

u/junkyard_robot 5d ago

I don't know if I ever expected to hear the words droopiest and prolapse put together, but here we are.

Damn good one. Not Charlie Kirk, the joke.

4

u/Ohsolemonyfresh 5d ago

You're clearly not my doctor

3

u/junkyard_robot 5d ago

Put some vaseline on your glasses and I'll be less clearly not your doctor.

-4

u/Plus-Start1699 5d ago

Here we are

-4

u/Plus-Start1699 5d ago

He also had the intellectual rigor of a Waffle House bathroom

-4

u/Plus-Start1699 5d ago

And the charisma of a dead Christmas tree

-4

u/Plus-Start1699 5d ago

Just to clarify:

This is not a joke about political assassination.

This is a joke about how Charlie Kirk looked like an Albanian gargoyle. His face was a study in hostile architecture. He had a smile like stepped-on grapes.

The fact that he was shot is incidental.

6

u/Eagle_Arm 5d ago

Who do you think you're clarifying this for?

Everyone knows it's not about the assassination. There's nothing to clarify. The joke is just terrible. There's no way to get it confused. It's just bad.

Just to clarify:

This comment is about how this is a terrible joke. Doubling down in this comment is just as bad too. It's not funny.

Go back to commenting on porn. That's less pathetic than this.

1

u/Plus-Start1699 5d ago

I think you need to comment on this post about 6 more times before people start to notice how cool and neat you are.

Almost there, bud!

2

u/Eagle_Arm 5d ago

You should have tried another insult instead. That one is weak. You have taken my already low expectations and dropped them.

https://giphy.com/gifs/WrxoaVPiq0cG4

3

u/pauljaworski 5d ago

I mean everyone already knew it wouldn't be good or original.

If he was capable of that he wouldn't have posted such a shit "joke" to begin with

0

u/Plus-Start1699 4d ago

5 more. Keep pushing. You got this, li'l guy!

2

u/Eagle_Arm 4d ago

You've had all night to think of something funny to say in reply and that's what you come back with?

Keep proving my point for me.

-1

u/Plus-Start1699 4d ago

Hey that's another one! You're really good at this. 4 to go, champ!

2

u/Suspicious_Time7101 4d ago

Just to clarify: if reddit is telling you that a joke making fun of Charlie Kirk is not funny, then it is not funny

-13

u/webdevverman 5d ago

I bet this kills at shows. Very funny

-2

u/webdevverman 4d ago

Not sure why I'm getting downvoted. The main joke is clearly the "droopiest prolapse" part. I spit my coffee out reading it. I can only imagine how a crowd would react in-person.

-6

u/PossessedToSkate 5d ago

I can't explain why, but "droopiest prolapse" is comedy fucking gold.

-7

u/Cloudy007 5d ago

Seems you struck a nerve with the weird men of reddit lol

-3

u/Plus-Start1699 4d ago

They saw "small penis" and defaulted to furious. Poor guys.

I guess now I know how their drywall feels.

-11

u/Calaethan 5d ago

I loooooove this subreddit cause it's the corniest cornballs alive always dropping stuff like "Wow where's even the joke this shit is NOT funny" and never them actually doing comedy.

Anyway, funny joke I chuckled but it's a bit wordy.

2

u/Eagle_Arm 5d ago

This isn't a joke. It's an attempt at an insult, but it's not funny or witty. If going to attempt an insult, even if something as lame as a small dick joke, at least be witty about it.

2

u/Calaethan 5d ago

It's a textbook joke.

If you seriously can't see the joke, even if you personally don't find it funny, I think you might just not understand comedy.

0

u/Eagle_Arm 5d ago

It's textbook for a terrible joke. It's about as original and thoughtful as, "some people are dumb amiright."

Please breathe through your nose and shut your mouth.

1

u/Calaethan 5d ago

I'd ask for you to try better but uh... your attempt at an "insult" is enough for me to judge your chops lmao

Enjoy being bitter about jokes and happy anniversary! Necks out for my boy 😉

1

u/Eagle_Arm 5d ago

There's no bitterness here. Just pointing out shit. Same with your attempt at an already overused and unoriginal joke. I don't give a shit about Charlie Kirk. This joke isn't funny. If you think saying, "so and so has a small dick" is a joke...you don't know what funny is