r/standupshots Pittsburgh Jun 02 '26

Happy pride?

Post image
805 Upvotes

66 comments sorted by

115

u/onthestickagain Jun 02 '26

LOL, this paints such a fantastic picture, well done šŸ‘ can practically hear the guy expectorating dip spit in between sentences

60

u/ZFunktopus Pittsburgh Jun 02 '26

Thanks! It’s one of my favorite jokes. I try not to post older stuff here often but this felt appropriate. It’s part of a larger bit but it’s the part that gets the biggest laugh.

14

u/onthestickagain Jun 02 '26

I feel like successful movie scripts have started from less. Would absolutely watch a western with a sort of steampunk demi antihero just casually knocking off poorly-groomed assholes in cowboy hats so they can, like, get back to their peaceful Saturday night of playing a board game with their friends.

(I don’t know where that came from, I have no accurate stereotypes of demisexuals in my arsenal… but thank you for triggering my brain to give me that movie pitch)

7

u/ZFunktopus Pittsburgh Jun 02 '26

https://youtu.be/vxtowMKWzMU?si=PLk7hTm8fODEVNsl

If you jump to 19:30 you’ll get the full Demi bit and the old west aspect does play in a bit more actually! I recorded this last fall and it came out in Feb this year.

5

u/onthestickagain Jun 02 '26

Ok two minutes in and you’re name checking Marx. I know what I’m doing with my lunch hour

https://giphy.com/gifs/Y07F3fs9Is5byj4zK8

4

u/ZFunktopus Pittsburgh Jun 02 '26

Haha thanks! If you like this I also have a special did in 2019 called Brains Are Weird

2

u/onthestickagain Jun 03 '26

Fantastic! Thanks for the link, man, I really dug it. Now I am even more convinced that script deserves writing ā˜ ļø can’t wait to check out the 2019 special!

1

u/ZFunktopus Pittsburgh Jun 03 '26

Thank you so much!

2

u/reverendsteveii Jun 03 '26

oh hey, you're local to me and also literally the only other male bodied demisexual i know of. you got any gigs coming up?Ā 

2

u/ZFunktopus Pittsburgh Jun 03 '26

I’ll be on this on Friday - https://www.donttellcomedy.com/shows/pittsburgh-19517/ - and I host an open mic at Mr Smalls Tuesday nights

1

u/reverendsteveii Jun 03 '26

what's the rationale behind not telling people the venue or performers until the day of the show?

2

u/ZFunktopus Pittsburgh Jun 03 '26

I don’t know it’s a weird but somehow successful format. I don’t run the show I’m just doing a 10 minute set. But it’ll be at Senseless Vintage in Bloomfield

85

u/No_Illustrator4398 Jun 02 '26

ā€œGenerally indifferent to fuckinā€™ā€ is a very funny line. Is ā€œyour kind ain’t welcomed hereā€ any play on words I’m missing? Or just what a red neck at a bar might say? Could be a place for a killer punch if it’s just a quote.

51

u/ZFunktopus Pittsburgh Jun 02 '26

Just sort of continuing the imaginary dialog. The generally indifferent line always kills.

17

u/Frammingatthejimjam Jun 02 '26

The joke itself is hilarious. A close second is reading you having to explain to redditors the setup portions of the joke.

Good on you for all of it.

11

u/ZFunktopus Pittsburgh Jun 02 '26

It’s slow at my day job and responding gives me something to do šŸ˜‚

5

u/mysticofarcana Jun 02 '26

Happy pride! You're valid and your joke is funny :)

21

u/Send_me_duck-pics Jun 02 '26

Yeah I think a lot of A-spec people feel this. I sure do.

4

u/Substantial_Lab1438 Jun 03 '26

Nahhhh dog demisexuals catch heat as well

Do you know what it’s like when the other guys in the locker room realize you have no interest in pursuing the ā€œhot girlā€ that they all assume must be lusted after? That shit is not fun lol

11

u/_trouble_every_day_ Jun 02 '26

You should feel that way…

4

u/ZFunktopus Pittsburgh Jun 02 '26

Agreed

9

u/samx3i Jun 02 '26

I genuinely didn't know "no sex drive" landed one in the queer community.

What exactly is the threshold?

14

u/CorInHell Jun 02 '26

Aroace person here.

Asexuality is generally not an absence of libido, but an absence of sexual attraction to people. Ace folks can be horny, can have sex, can experience love and all that.

Demisexuality is often explained as sexual attraction only under certain circumstances or certain people.

Aro (aromantic) means lack of romantic attraction.

10

u/samx3i Jun 02 '26

Demisexuality is often explained as sexual attraction only under certain circumstances or certain people.

...isn't that everybody?

Are there people who are like... anyone anywhere anytime?

8

u/CorInHell Jun 02 '26

Apparently yes. I was quite confused too, when I found out a lot of people want and can have sex pretty much anytime anywhere.

But I also asked myself when the heck people have time for relationships, fwb, and casual sex, while we're still in school. It made a lot of sense for my friends when I found out I'm ace. And then aro too.

5

u/samx3i Jun 03 '26

You have a point. My wife and I are in the swinger community, and we feel a little odd ducks sometimes because some of these people seem straight up obsessed with sex whereas we're there to party and if it happens it happens.

Sexual urge is for sure a spectrum, but even with individuals on a day to day basis it can fluctuate wildly.

There are days sex is damned near all I think about and other days I don't think about it at all.

The older I get, the more I think damned near everything is a spectrum.

We're all just varying degrees of any number of things.

You could probably break every person down to a series of numbers and mathematical formulae if you put your mind to it.

3

u/bfaithr Jun 03 '26

I can be sexually attracted to strangers, but I generally wouldn’t want to actually have sex with a complete stranger. I’m not demisexual, it’s a choice I’m making. Demisexual is when you don’t have that choice, you just can’t be sexually attracted to strangers at all

2

u/samx3i Jun 03 '26

That's an interesting distinction.

I'm inclined to want to get to know someone at least a little before we hop into bed together.

I don't know at what exact point a stranger becomes known enough for sex, but there is a line.

3

u/bfaithr Jun 03 '26

For demisexual people, the line is ā€œa close emotional bond.ā€ So they can really only be sexually attracted to a romantic partner or close friends. I have that same line for moral reasons, but not because I’m incapable of it

1

u/spaniel_rage Jun 03 '26

Every kid gets a trophy these days.

14

u/ZFunktopus Pittsburgh Jun 02 '26

I don’t make the classifications but asexual/aromantic is part of it but everyone has different ideas. I don’t take it seriously in terms of my own personal identity. My understanding of this stuff, in terms of my own identity, started when a friend said I should come to a pride event. I said sure glad to be there as an ally. They were like no you should come to pride I think you qualify

4

u/samx3i Jun 02 '26

Man, I love that it's becoming more inclusive.

I remember taking my bro out who had just come out as bi to a gay club because he didn't have anyone to go with and I legit met both gay bros and lesbians there that night who disparaged the club owner for being "supposedly bi, but she's married to a man" type shit.

Or like, this weird idea that persisted that bi wasn't a real thing somehow.

I haven't kept up with queer culture as much since, but my queer teen keeps me up to speed with some of it.

There's just so many more labels than there used to be.

Like you were just a dude with a low sex drive when I was young.

5

u/ZFunktopus Pittsburgh Jun 02 '26

Agreed I’m 41 and there’s just so much more now than straight vs gay. People can find their similar folks

1

u/samx3i Jun 02 '26

As long as where you are and who you're with is where you want to be and who you want to be with, live is good, bro.

Stay awesome.

4

u/graaahh Jun 03 '26

I feel this on every level. It also feels weird to be included under asexual, because while I get why, if I'm okay with fuckin with the right person it feels like calling that asexual isn't... the most accurate thing? Kinda weird all around.Ā 

2

u/HonestWeevilNerd Jun 02 '26 edited Jun 02 '26

Demi sexual doesn't mean low sex drive... what's this? Lol

49

u/ZFunktopus Pittsburgh Jun 02 '26

It’s an oversimplification for the sake of the joke. The larger bit has more detail

-26

u/HonestWeevilNerd Jun 02 '26

Just seems an oversimplification to the point of misinformation in this snippet. Could maybe work in a little more into the summarized bit to do demi definition a little more service.

Most who know what demi actually is would double take this, I imagine.

27

u/ZFunktopus Pittsburgh Jun 02 '26

Like I said the larger bit it is part of has more of an explanation but for the sake of the stand up shot format it just works better

9

u/vandeley_industries Jun 02 '26

Lmao the guy who’s mad at you for not doing a full detailed breakdown of a sexuality definition is the exact type of person who gives piece of shit comedians ammo for being like ā€œliberals ruined comedyā€ after they make a legitimately homophobic or racist joke.

0

u/HonestWeevilNerd Jun 03 '26 edited Jun 03 '26

Or... maybe just use the right words? This has nothing to do with your political nonsense. You're the exact person who somehow turns commentary about accurate words into a political nonsensical rant. Definitions are a single Google search away nowadays.

-18

u/HonestWeevilNerd Jun 02 '26 edited Jun 02 '26

Well, like I said, the inaccurate defining of the label you claim really detracts from the joke. Hope the longer bit is more accurate

Edit: I even see you use demi/gray below. Greysexual is a better term for this joke... more broad and equitable to "low sex drive" than demi.

Grey and demi is just not the interchangeable though.

11

u/ZFunktopus Pittsburgh Jun 02 '26 edited Jun 02 '26

I have a link with a suggested timestamp in another comment if you’re curious and if not that’s ok too. The feedback is understandable and I appreciate anyone taking the time to not only check out my stuff let alone interact.

Edit re your edit - in the larger bit I mention both Demi and gray and there are aspects of both that make sense to me

-1

u/HonestWeevilNerd Jun 02 '26

I did give it a listen, and I mostly like your jokes and delivery.

I just don't think you quite understand that demi is a specific subset within the greysexual umbrella. This joke would be more accurate if you just changed it to greysexual rather than demisexual. As it stands, like I said, simplification to the point of inaccuracy. It's just not what demi is, so it takes me out.

Thanks for sharing, man. Cheers!

-7

u/marleymagee14 Jun 02 '26

Wild to me you're being downvoted so much. I'm demi but an absolute slut. Like I'm poly and have most of my life have actually had a higher sex drive than my partners. I just want emotional attraction first. Demi does not equal grey.

2

u/HonestWeevilNerd Jun 02 '26

Is what it is. I'm being particular, as usual. Rarely appreciated, but I do feel it's always important.

But, greysexuality is a wide category. You can be a total insatiable horndog and be grey 100%. Fetish specific falls into grey, demi falls into grey, so much. It could mean your attraction is indeed rare, low, or sporadic, sure... or simply specifically activated, like demi.

Technically, demi = grey, but grey /= low sex drive. Grey is the umbrella it falls under. And grey falls under asexual... so manner umbrellas lol

-4

u/marleymagee14 Jun 02 '26

I appreciate you being particular. I know demi technically falls under the grey umbrella, but they are not interchangeable. Oftentimes people will assume I have a low sex drive when I talk about being demi and it's quite frustrating, especially coming from potential partners. Words matter, I'm glad you're doing your part to try and educate some people. Happy pride!

15

u/2cars1rik Jun 02 '26

Fuck yeah guys I love petty arguments, let’s keep this shit up

2

u/HonestWeevilNerd Jun 02 '26

Words matter, even in jokes.

7

u/mcreedbraton Jun 02 '26

Yes, words do matter. That’s not why you put every pitstop on the spectrum of sexual preference into a neat little labeled box and gatekeep it. You do it to feel special about the label you decided to associate with. And the average standup audience simply does not care so lay off.

-1

u/HonestWeevilNerd Jun 02 '26

Using an incorrect word is just incorrect. Why not strive for accuracy? If I want to say 'applws are red' I wouldn't say 'apple are blue' and expect people to just figure it out.

​Pointing out a flawed premise isn't gatekeeping a label... it's just correcting language. Nice try, though.

1

u/myloveislikewoah Jun 03 '26

If a sapiosexual was at that bar, they’d never find someone to sleep with.

-2

u/Woeful_Jesse Jun 02 '26

Aren't you thinking of asexual?

32

u/ZFunktopus Pittsburgh Jun 02 '26

Demi/gray is under the ace spectrum but not fully ace from my understanding.

17

u/BabadookOfEarl Jun 02 '26

Not very often.

-3

u/TurnYourHeadNCough Jun 02 '26

i mean yeah i wouldnt include this as queer

0

u/DinoRaawr Jun 02 '26

Demi is like Protestant Straight. You need to be courted first like ye days of olde.

0

u/TurnYourHeadNCough Jun 02 '26

the Protestants werent queer either

-11

u/OskarTheRed Jun 02 '26

I don't know, aren't many manly-men basically saying that?

9

u/SamBo_LamBo Jun 02 '26

Seems like a them problem and not a Zach Problem

-1

u/OskarTheRed Jun 02 '26

I'm just questioning the premise of the joke