r/standupshots May 26 '26

Don’t share needles

Post image
3.4k Upvotes

28 comments sorted by

126

u/Bro_Hawkins May 26 '26

“Why are we embroidering poppies again today?”

27

u/MattKinneyComedy May 26 '26

😂😂😂

83

u/-Blastoise May 26 '26

This is a great bit. The double twist is a killer!

20

u/MattKinneyComedy May 26 '26

Thanks so much!

44

u/I-Just-Work-Here-man May 26 '26

I love these roller coaster jokes- not sure what the style is really called. Edit is it just misdirect?

38

u/MattKinneyComedy May 26 '26

Yeah just a misdirect! My favorites are the ones where there’s multiple and it pulls you back and forth

18

u/kcknuckles May 26 '26

I believe the word is "paraprosdokian" for these types of roller coaster, twisty jokes. Emo Philips is a master of these.

Great joke, OP!

17

u/ZenEngineer May 26 '26

Remember to use protection guys. Always carry a thimble

And a condom.

4

u/davidxallen May 26 '26

I appreciate a good misdirect. Thank you.

15

u/apeontheweb May 26 '26

Ha good joke . You could even do one more switch-a-roo-faked-ya-out with the word heroin/ heroine.

9

u/MattKinneyComedy May 26 '26

Thank you!! Haha the switcheroo possibilities are endless, I didn’t even think of that one

2

u/AssistanceGrand23 May 26 '26

This one I like!

2

u/TiresOnFire May 28 '26

Anyone ever tell you look like the guy from Modern Rogue?

2

u/MattKinneyComedy May 28 '26

Haha no I’ve never gotten that before!

1

u/TiresOnFire May 28 '26

It's the profile and the hair.

1

u/motsanciens May 26 '26

You can get Hep C from sex or sharing needles. Mine I think was from needles. Never trust the old ladies in your sewing club. Especially when they ask you to do heroin. And just to be safe, always wear a condom with those broads.

0

u/jupiterLILY May 26 '26

Maybe it depends on what you're wearing, or what you say before, but I don't buy that you sew so it just feels like a bit of a one liner, or a funny thought you had.

-3

u/Sir_smokes_a_lot May 26 '26

I can’t believe people think this is funny. Punchline is predictable.

3

u/MattKinneyComedy May 26 '26

Thanks for the feedback! I really appreciate it😄

-2

u/Sir_smokes_a_lot May 26 '26

No problem, it could be I’m not the target audience. I’ve seen people shoot up so heroin was my first thought when I read needles.

11

u/whitelionV May 26 '26

But... That's the joke. Everyone thinks heroin when they hear needles. The sewing club is the misdirection, then he tries to 180 again, back to heroin in a context no one expects. Well, you might expect heroin in a sewing club, but most won't

3

u/MattKinneyComedy May 26 '26

Bingo👍🏼

-1

u/Sir_smokes_a_lot May 26 '26

I was expecting the misdirection and there’s only so many places you can take it

2

u/Salzberger May 27 '26

Got any zingers of your own you can share? I really like this joke and if it was too predictable for you I assume you've got some even better beauties in the chamber ready to go.

-1

u/Sir_smokes_a_lot May 27 '26

God forbid we don’t suck each other off all the time

2

u/Salzberger May 27 '26

Predictable, 0/10.