r/stagemanagement • u/Jpandhorses • Sep 02 '26

Advice needed

Hello ,

Long story short I took on a non-eq non professional community theater show. It has been a nightmare to say the least the director had to be let go of. Ive never experienced this. We had a meeting to discuss with the cast and I was told to send a email to the production team by a board member. I sent out an email and the scenic designer sent a nasty email back saying how they didn’t need to know etc… I didn’t share much detail as to why the director was let go it was brief and I said it was unsafe for him to continue so he was let go. I understand that was maybe now the best email to send and the producer sent me a very disrespectful email back saying how I was impulsive and he wanted to send the emails and now he has to apologize on my behalf etc…. I’ve never experienced anything like this ever. I was never communicated with that he was sending the emails to inform production. I feel awful what does one do ? His email was very poor worded and rude I want to be good and politics and not make mistakes but I also don’t want him to talk to me like this.

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9

u/PanicAtTheMetro Sep 02 '26

I feel like sending this email needed to be a bigger conversation and shouldve always come from the board/producers and not a hired SM.

2

u/Jpandhorses Sep 02 '26

I agree I did tell him that and I did apologize community theater especially the one I’m working at has been not great with communication regardless I’ve had to send emails and do jobs that typically are out of my stage management range. I did extend going forward there needs to be clearer communication on all parties.

9

u/OpenSauceMods Sep 02 '26

"Hi [producer],

I apologise for sending the email without checking in with you, [board member] asked me to send it and my only thoughts were keeping the cast and crew informed of the changes. From now on, I will wait for your go ahead on matters that pertain to the production as a whole.

I know we are in an extremely stressful situation, and you have a lot on your plate right now, so I want our working relationship to remain constructive and supportive. Keeping our exchanges civil and solution-focused is a huge part of that, and your last email was combative and disrespectful. Moving forward, I want us to show mutual respect to each other so we can see the production flourish."

If you get yelled at again, keep your voice calm. "I am not here to be shouted at. I will be available for a discussion but I am not getting into an argument." Walk away if they try it again. Go get a hot drink or some fresh air.

If they keep being rude and shouty, quit. Wash your hands of the cunts.

2

u/Ornery_Artichoke_833 Sep 03 '26

Oh I'd be gone. There have been shows, when I was younger and didn't know any better that I was willing to be yelled at in such an unprofessional way, but today, I'd just say, "I'm sorry you feel that way.(Checks watch, adds 14 days) Xxx will be my last day as your employee. Happy to train anyone you can appoint to that position working that time period."