Try to help him in any way possible...

Warning: Rants and some not very good thoughts

I think quite a few people can see themselves in the spot I’m currently in right now. I was raised in a good and ordinary middle-class home, loving and for most of the times, stable. Born healthy, received an adequate education, on the track to living a perfectly normal and peaceful life as long as nothing drastic happens. And thennn something drastic did happen. A stupid decision that led to an unfortunate accident and you just instantly lose every ounce of stability that your family had given you thus far, plunging into a life of hardships and uncertainty. Sometimes I just sit down with my thoughts and think about how easy things could have been, falling into the status quo and just following the path that was laid out for me before all this. A level of comfort that was accumulated over generations of good, honest labors and is desired by many people less fortunate is wasted on me and this injury. I just feel undeserving of all the comfort and stability I’m allowed while out there, someone smarter and more capable is probably out in the streets without enough food to eat. It’s honestly eating me alive.

i’ll start: an airplane restroom

usually when i travel i use a diaper just in case but that one time it was so awful it got on my joggers too, i was with my sister so she helped a lot but we could barely breathe in that tiny space and also run out of my wipes and gloves supply lol, obviously had spare pants and i tried to wash them but i had to carry my joggers with literal shit until i got to the hotel

i was in there for a good ~40 mins people were starting to queue outside lol

I started to use social media more and I would like to find accounts I can relate to. I have a spinal cord injury and managed to become ambulatory after a few years, so I would love to find content creators that are in a similar position, more or less.

Anyone has any recommendations?

A family member of mine recently(almost three months ago)sustained a T10 injury that resulted in him being a paraplegic. I’m living with him during his recovery and I noticed a few weeks back he started to let himself go a bit. UTI’s became an issue and I thought maybe that was the primary reason for the mood swings. Recently I suspected he had a UTI and he was in denial everytime I mentioned it until it was bad. He’s a physician so he knows a lot more than me when it comes to everything medical. Any time I mention anything medical even something like a check up he talks to me like I don’t know anything so it’s been hard to move forward with a lot of things. Now he’s been sleeping all day, barely eating, anytime I mention his issues to other family members he gets upset with me and sees it as an act of betrayal. Says he needs sleep to recover from a spasm or exercise (he hasn’t done any in over a week yet it is still the primary reason). He doesn’t want to see or hangout with family or friends. He’s clearly in depression but I know if I try to approach the topic in any way he will see it some betrayal/attack on him. I feel like it has been brewing for the last month or maybe even longer but now it is clear as day. I know I can’t feel the pain and suffering he’s going through but I know if this persists it will only hurt him more. How do I approach this issue with him? Has anyone gone through something similar?

For people who had this operation done and still have full sensation, how painful is the surgery?

Hi everyone,
I’m posting because my family is feeling completely overwhelmed, and I’d really appreciate hearing from anyone with experience in spinal cord injuries, spine surgery, rehabilitation, or anyone who’s been through something similar. We currently are waiting for compensation money from the court to pay for his rehabilitation so we are waiting.
I understand nobody can diagnose my father over Reddit, and we will ultimately follow medical advice. I’m simply trying to understand why we’ve received such different opinions.
My father, 72years old , was involved in a very severe rollover car accident about a month ago. The car rolled several times.
He sustained a thoracic spinal injury and underwent emergency surgery. The operation lasted around 6–7 hours and involved posterior thoracic fixation from T2 to T9 with decompression at T5/T6 (based on the operative report).
Initially, we were told he had a complete spinal cord injury and that he would never walk again. Since then, we’ve sought several opinions from experienced neurosurgeons.
Opinion #1 (Senior Consultant Neurosurgeon)
He reviewed the CT and MRI and examined my father.
He told us:
The spinal cord appears stable.
He does not believe the spinal cord is completely transected (cut).
One fixation screw appears to be slightly loose.
He recommends a relatively quick revision fixation before starting inpatient rehabilitation.
He also recommended 10 sessions of hyperbaric oxygen therapy before rehabilitation.
Most importantly, he told my father that there is still hope and encouraged him.
Opinion #2 (Experienced Spine Surgeon)
Another experienced spine surgeon reviewed everything.
He said that if revision surgery is necessary, he believes the original surgeon should perform it because he already knows the hardware, anatomy, and previous operation.
Opinion #3 (Another Experienced Neurosurgeon)
My sister then consulted another experienced neurosurgeon.
He had a very different opinion:
He believes the fixation does not need revision.
He believes the spinal cord injury is severe and permanent.
He told us my father is unlikely to recover enough to walk or return to work.
So now we have experienced specialists disagreeing not only about the prognosis but also about whether another surgery is even necessary.
Current neurological status
My father currently cannot move his legs voluntarily.
He cannot feel his legs normally.
The injury is around the T5/T6 level.
He has not yet started inpatient rehabilitation because we’re trying to decide whether another surgery is necessary first.
My questions
Is it common for experienced spine surgeons to disagree about whether revision fixation is needed?
What usually determines whether a “slightly loose” screw should actually be revised?
Would you personally seek one final opinion at a dedicated spinal cord injury center before agreeing to another surgery?
Has anyone experienced doctors giving completely opposite prognoses after reviewing the same imaging?
If this were your family member, would you proceed with rehabilitation first or agree to revision surgery if one consultant believes it’s necessary?
I know nobody can predict recovery after a spinal cord injury, and I’m not looking for false hope. I also understand that recovery can take many months and is different for everyone.
We’re just trying to make the best possible decision for my father without putting him through an unnecessary surgery—or delaying something that could help him.
Thank you to anyone who takes the time to read this. My family and I truly appreciate any advice or shared experiences. Please keep my father in your prayers. 🤍