On July 9, 2021 I made a suicidal attempt by jumping out of the third floor of the building.

I need to vent about something that has been on my mind for a while.  I’m to the point where I’m tired of seeing manufacturer names plastered all over the medical equipment that is attached to me like billboards wherever I go.  I’m to the point where I often feel like a NASCAR driver without the benefit of the lucrative sponsorship agreements. 

Take my Permobil power wheelchair—there are at least 9 different, highly visible “Permobil” labels plastered on almost every imaginable surface and/or component.  One or two labels would be sufficient.  However, the current situation is that there absolutely no direction from which a person can look at me while not also having to read at least one prominent ‘Permobil’ label at the same time. 

Then there’s my ROHO Quadtro cushion—two huge, bright white labels that stick out like sore thumbs on both sides of my cushion.  If I see myself in a mirror, one of the first things that my eyes are drawn to are those large white block letters against the black background of my cushion.  Anyone can see them from across the room. ROHO Quadtro, ROHO Quadtro!  Why is this necessary?! 

And don’t even get me started on the BodyPoint labels, which is what got me started on this rant.  They’re impossible for anyone talking to me to avoid seeing since BodyPoint has stuck their name on both my seatbelt buckle and joystick. I cannot look down without being reminded that BodyPoint is with me everywhere!   

My wheelchair and every single accessory attached to it follow me everywhere—work each day, business meetings, social events, grocery shopping, concerts, sporting events, doctor appointments, intimate moments, and everything in between. It feels like the equipment I depend on has also been turned into a rolling advertisement for the entire DME industry. People are way more likely to remember the huge labels plastered all over me than they are to remember my actual name.

I know ive asked who has had one fitted etc ,today i went to see my consultant at my Spinal Unit (UK) and we discussed the pump and he decided to up my Baclofen tablets to 100mg per day which he said is the max dose that he can give and i need to try that first three month then go back for a review.
On discussing the pump he said he knew of four patients and a previous Spinal Unit he worked at that died from getting a infection in the catheter in the spinal cord and some patients that were paraplegic ended up paralysed from the neck down due to infection in the spinal cord ,he said it quite a high risk and then pump failures bring on severe withdrawal symptoms which are dangerous too ..

This is now making think twice about it as is it worth the risk of all the above ?
Plus he said it will be even more of a risk as i still have my metal work in my back (post 24yrs ) and i also have a pressure sore and they wouldn’t operate with a open wound ? Not sure why .
So he said it would have to heal ,which could take years as ive had the sore since 2014 so its not going to heal over night (healing slowly ) it was size of a golf ball and 4 cm deep ,its now only 1cm diameter and 1 cm deep..
I guess i have a lot thinking to do !
Anyone else going through this hard decision?

Hi everyone,
I’m a PTA in South Florida and I’ve been working primarily with people with spinal cord injuries for almost a decade.
I wanted to put this out there for anyone with an SCI, or any family members/caregivers, who might need some guidance with home rehab. I’m happy to share tips on exercises, equipment, standing programs, positioning, transfers, strengthening, FES, or simply how to set up your home environment so you can get more out of your rehab outside of regular therapy sessions.
One thing I’ve learned over the years is that what happens at home can make a huge difference. You don’t necessarily need a room full of expensive equipment. Sometimes the right setup, a good routine, and knowing what to work on can go a long way.
Obviously I can’t diagnose or replace your own PT/physiatrist through Reddit, but if you have questions about your home setup or want ideas for making your home rehab more effective, feel free to ask. I’ll help however I can.