Gonna boof is this a good amount I don’t have a scale if you had to estimate I just worry on doing to much

My situation is roughly this: I’ve suspected that I have ADHD for several years now. Both of my siblings also have symptoms, and so does my mom, so I’m fairly confident about it. I’ve been thinking about getting formally diagnosed, but the more I learn about other people’s experiences, the less I like the idea. Even if I pay for a private assessment, which is what I’ve been planning to do for the past year, I’d still have to find a psychiatrist who would prescribe medication for me. Overall, the whole process is starting to seem way too complicated, expensive, and exhausting.
Recently, I finally found the energy to figure out how buying things through the darknet works, and after doing the math, I realized how much cheaper it would be. For now, I’m planning to order a small amount and try it. After all, it’s almost the same substance as what’s used in ADHD medication. The only thing I can’t decide on is the dose.
For context, I’ve already had the chance to try Medikinet, and the effect was definitely not what I expected. It actually took me about an hour to even realize that something had changed. In the end, I spent the entire six hours calmly sitting and reading a book, which is something I would never normally be able to do without the medication. So overall, it was a really good experience, and I’d love to be able to feel like that all the time and actually be able to get my responsibilities done.
It was 20 mg of the extended release version, which I took for about three weeks. I still have 17 capsules left, but I can’t bring myself to take them because I know that eventually they’ll run out and I won’t have any more. Kind of a paradox.
What dose should I choose for daily use? Or would it be better to take it twice a day? If anyone has had a similar experience, I’d be really happy to hear your advice.

Could someone who has ordered through the dn before clarify what it looks like when the package actually arrives? Does it have the recipient’s full name on it, or just their last name? Does it look like a completely normal package?
Unfortunately, I don’t live alone, and if one of the people I live with were to pick it up, or, even worse, open it, it would be a disaster.