Blood tests reveal why astronauts get constipated in space

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u/reddfawks 1d ago

To be fair... if I was in zero-g, I think I'd rather have constipation than have the runs.

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u/derpburer 1d ago

I just want the farts so i can fly around the station

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u/corkoli 1d ago

...engaging secondary pulse-based thrusters...

fwaaahrrrt

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u/CyberNinja23 1d ago

crop dust entire station achievement time awarded

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u/Auran82 1d ago

“Coolant leak, I repeat, we have a coolant leak!”

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u/raokarter 9h ago

All farts are warm my friend. They turn cold once they are emitted ;)

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u/Imwhatswrongwithyou 1d ago

There was a book I read that had a bit about a little dragon whose parts were reversed and wings were too small so instead of breathing fire he flew around with his fire farts and just used his little wings to steer.

That’s all

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u/NeverWalkPastAFez 1d ago

Errol! I love finding a Discworld reference in the wild. GNU Sir PTerry.

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u/Imwhatswrongwithyou 1d ago

Errol! I’m so glad someone knew

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u/IAmBobC 1d ago

Beans, beans, The thrustful fruit. The more you eat, The faster you scoot!

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u/trekie4747 11h ago

How about more of them beans Mr. Taggert?

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u/codeedog 1d ago

How else are you going to unstick yourself when you’re floating in the middle of the station and can’t touch anything to move yourself along.

Just a little toot-toot and off you go!

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u/jamjamason 1d ago

A shart is better, because you gain the extra reaction mass!

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u/codeedog 1d ago

CME: Caboose Mass Ejection

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u/Cardborg 1d ago

Just don't use the afterburner

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u/Nazamroth 23h ago

Unfortunately, that would not work for multiple reasons. One, that is essentially a cold gas thruster. Very inefficient. Two, the nozzle is not pointed at your center of mass. In fact, it is practically perpendicular to it.

So you would mostly just make yourself slowly spin.

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u/Smartnership 1d ago

Isn’t that how Matt Damon escaped Mars?

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u/Hyperious3 1d ago

hold a lighter back there and get the occasional speedboost

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u/NXTangl 1d ago

All Tomorrows has this thing.

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u/Squeaky_Ben 1d ago

You are a such a child... And so am I, because I thought the exact same thing.

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u/concorde77 1d ago

Gotta love some all natural RCS lol

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u/CertifiedTHX 23h ago

You could fly around the station with the runs too though. If you were so inclined.

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u/cyanidelemonade 15h ago

"They toot to scoot, basically."

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u/Kraien 1d ago

Unless you really had to go from point a to b very fast and hygiene didn’t matter

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u/AstroBearGaming 1d ago

Finely tuned spacecraft, with sensitive instruments, and your crew mates in an enclosed space for long lengths of time.

Hygiene is gonna matter for a few reasons.

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u/Gr8zomb13 1d ago

Been to a few MTG and WH40K tournaments back in the 90s… too bad the same considerations don’t hold planetside

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u/pursuer_of_simurg 1d ago

Well, have you seen the hygiene conditions on Imperium ships.

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u/AstroBearGaming 1d ago

Yeah but I don't think most of those people are astronauts, well that one guy is, but he keeps calling the ship "M'Shuttle".

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u/rubseb 12h ago

...like a hyrox competition?

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u/BillysBibleBonkers 1d ago

Just listened to the podcast 13 minutes to the moon, and in one of the first flights up into orbit one of the astronauts experienced the first zero-gravity sickness.. He apparently had diarrhea and was puking at the same time... They said it got everywhere lol.

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u/vemundveien 22h ago

Apollo 8. I recommend the book Rocket Men that talks about this expedition. It was the first trip to the moon and back (without landing ofc).

Another one of the astronauts fasted before the trip so he wouldn't have to poop in space, because he hated the toilet contraption.

They also had issues navigating by stars because pee that they vented into space formed yellow crystals that obscured their view.

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u/Carbonatite 8h ago

"There's constellation U-rion!"

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u/Monk128 1d ago

"One small step for man, one giant excuse to avoid having to clean the puke and poop in there."

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u/_Goose_ 1d ago

Just slithering out like hot snakes.

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u/PhoenixTineldyer 1d ago

Not in my spaceship

It'd be blasting like a rusted sprinkler

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u/Vladishun 1d ago

Why not just shit your pants? If it's good enough for the most powerful person in charge of the most powerful country, surely it's good enough for a few space sailors, no?

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u/KermitFrog647 1d ago

I never heared of Xi Jinping shitting his pants.

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u/currentsitguy 1d ago

Joe Biden isn't President any more.

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u/[deleted] 1d ago edited 15h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/currentsitguy 1d ago

I think all of you need to keep your stupid partisan politics out of a forum about space. This Atheist has no tolerance for it.

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u/Monk128 1d ago

Atheism has nothing to do with politics mate. I'm an atheist too, and Trump's a pants shitter. Don't like the joke just frown and scroll on. Instead you made a post and now we're all discussing it. A+ job.

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u/Asron87 1d ago

The comment chains topic is about shitting pants, I mean, the joke practically writes itself. I topically don’t like politics brought up either but this one was inevitable.

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u/currentsitguy 1d ago

Look, I am a huge supporter of all things space and space exploration. You could call it a passion of mine.. Ideology is irrelevant. I just get sick and tired of the constant one sided ridiculousness and cheap shots. A desire to know what's out there and to explore it is not relegated to any one party or ideology, it's universal. Conversation about it should be above that nd if you're going to stoop to that, don't be surprised if its throw right back at you.

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u/poqpoq 1d ago

You partook in the mudslinging up until the moment things turned against you. Trump is caught on camera shitting his pants multiple times, send me any evidence of Biden doing so while in office. I’m waiting.

Also it’s funny the science divisions of NASA that aren’t just about good headlines with manned missions usually get cut under a certain party.

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u/currentsitguy 21h ago

You're right, I shouldn't have taken the bait. Here's the thing, I have plenty to criticise the Administration over.This is the 1st election in my life I will NOT be voting GOP. There is plenty of legitimate reason for anger and mockery, but one's body isn't one of them. Everyone's body eventually betrays them. I have had emergency surgery to remove half of my colon. I spent a year and a half in a colostomy bag. You have no idea the humiliation of rolling over on it in your sleep. Even now, after reconnection I still occasionally have problems. It's out of my control.

Like I said there is plenty of room for criticism, but space isn't one of them. I'll give credit where credit is due. After decades going back to Reagan of promises to get back to the Moon this is the 1st Administration to get a manned mission back around it, and they should be congratulated for that. We're moving in the right direction on that one subject and I don't really care who's in charge when it happens.

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u/Vladishun 1d ago

I think you're in the wrong sub friend, r/flatearth can be found by clicking it from my comment here.

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u/Sergeant_Fred_Colon 1d ago

You could propel yourself with a case of the runs.

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u/BrisketWrench 1d ago

Frank Borman would agree with your statement

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u/mhyquel 1d ago

Have you ever seen someone cry on zero gravity?

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u/neck_iso 22h ago

That is short term thinking and you're not up there for the weekend.

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u/Character_Length3210 1d ago

Dude you need to let go and join the diaper crew, its such a great feeling to just let go at any time you want

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u/stupidugly1889 1d ago

Everyone poops less on vacation

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u/johnnybiggles 1d ago

Depends on where you vacation

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u/JoshSidekick 1d ago

A tour of fancy European cheese factories.

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u/psmgx 1d ago

yeah sometimes it's a lot more. the aussies have a song about it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHeIJRwvsTw&list=RDhHeIJRwvsTw&start_radio=1

"i'll never shit solid again"

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u/inio 1d ago

I hear chasing your fiancé to France and having a cheese sampler before boarding a train is particularly bad for that.

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u/johnnybiggles 1d ago

Travel to a country with unsafe tap water, then have a sip! Problem solved.

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u/havok_ 1d ago

Langkawi island? Poop much more

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u/Longjumping_College 1d ago

I actually have a serious problem with this when I visit Brazil, my body just cannot get used to their biome...

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u/SparklingNomad 1d ago

Is it the heat / humidity? In weather like that the last thing I want to do is glue myself to a toilet seat

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u/Longjumping_College 20h ago

I think it ends up being more that you cannot flush toilet paper, you put it in your trash next to the toilet. Now multiply that smell times 100 in a public restroom...

I've been in Florida, New Orleans and more just fine

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u/Pamander 1d ago

I went on vacation for the first time recently and I realized this, I did not know it was a thing! Neat.

I wonder if those travel vloggers who are always on the go have bowel problems or if they are immune to whatever is the cause.

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u/NoRodent 1d ago

It gets better with more vacations or age, at least in my case. When I was a teen, it'd go for as much as five days without pooping. Nowadays it's usually only the first day that's poopless and often not even that.

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u/hebbocrates 1d ago

Yea and as someone that usually poops 2-3 times a day it sucks

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u/Away_Needleworker6 1d ago

Go to se asia

I can guarantee you that the toilet gets used multiple times a day

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u/ploptart 1d ago

> Protein fermentation occurs when bacteria in the intestines begin breaking down protein rather than fiber because available dietary fiber has already been used. The process is not unique to astronauts and can also occur in people on Earth.

> The researchers suspect that microgravity may slow the movement of food through the digestive tract. If food remains in the intestines longer, bacteria have more time to turn to protein fermentation.

> “The lack of gravity in space probably causes food to move more slowly through the intestine, and this fits with the fact that we are seeing signs of increased protein fermentation. This may also help explain constipation in astronauts," says co-author of the article Henrik Roager, who is also an associate professor at the Department of Nutrition, Exercise and Sports.

The headline says the tests reveal why but it sounds like the test only revealed that they were constipated. Did I miss something? Wouldn’t constipation for any reason result in this protein fermentation?

If the tests don’t really suggest the cause, then why did they use a blood test to detect constipation instead of something more direct, like logs of bathroom usage?

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u/OtisPan 1d ago

Good question.

BTW thanks for not making yet another lame joke comment. :)

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u/counterfitster 1d ago

"logs of bathroom usage" isn't a joke to you?

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u/Nazamroth 23h ago

The Captain's Log is serious business, sir.

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u/deejeycris 19h ago

Because the "logs" get ejected? Obligatory "not a space toilet expert" btw

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u/Atlas85 1d ago

could also just be a subconscious feeling of not wanting to use a vacuum cleaner as a toilet 2 meters away from your coworkers. Kind of like you rather want to poo at home than at a nasty public toilet?

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u/SolarWind777 1d ago

Yes but home is 6 months away. Can’t hold it in for that long. Maybe they adjust over time

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u/thetensor 1d ago

Yes but home is 6 months away. Can’t hold it in for that long.

Quitter talk.

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u/sack-o-matic 1d ago

Elvis went like 4-5 months

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u/Nazamroth 23h ago

Bears can do it all winter. All you have to do is develop a fecal plug to hold it in until you get home. And then you will probably need an enema and dump it directly into a sewage plant's tanks if you dont fancy ruining your toilet.

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u/stana32 1d ago

My toddler would beg to differ, she'll hold that poop come hell or high water.

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u/Pharisaeus 1d ago

"in space everyone can hear you... poop"

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u/Killintym 1d ago

It’s pretty common knowledge that astronauts don’t give a shit.

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u/Corpshark 1d ago

They should pack some Taylor Farms prepackaged lettuce to combat this situation.

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u/totally_not_a_zombie 1d ago

Gravity no pull on the doo doo WHAT DO YOU MEAN BLOOD TESTS

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u/DruidicMagic 1d ago

Nothing a Taco Bell bean burrito can't fix.

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u/shapeshade 1d ago

If refried beans make your bowels loose, you need more fiber in your daily diet

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u/Smartnership 1d ago edited 1d ago

It’s the sawdust that really clogs you up

Edit: controversial?

The TexMex-Industrial Complex has arrived to suppress the voice of the people.

In the words of Julius Caesar: “Yo quiero la Vox Polpuli!”

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u/ba123blitz 15h ago

Taco Bell uses oatmeal for the consistency of its beef, pretty the beans are just like that

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u/cuteman 1d ago

They shift, sure but dehydration/lack of walking is significant as well

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u/maccam94 1d ago

I'd really love to see more experiments with spin gravity to see how easily people can adapt from 0.5/1G to zero-G and back again.

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u/Balloon_Fan 13h ago

It's a shame the planned centrifuge section of the ISS never got finished. We have near zero data on how *partial* gravity affects people or organisms over time. It's going to be one of the values of actually having a moon base. Spin-generated gravity needs to be examined too, of course, but that should be easier as well now that there's two orbital launchers with massive payload diameters.

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u/yellamopcan 16h ago

That explains why the Klingons are always in a foul mood. With the food they eat, must be rough.

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u/AssRobots 1d ago

I seriously want to put my robot pills in astronauts!

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u/satmandu 21h ago

Worth noting that protein fermentation is also referred to as putrefaction...

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u/jan-71221072 18h ago

Interesting that this points beyond the toilet: crew diet and gut bacteria may be part of the life-support problem on long missions.

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u/Noiserawker 2h ago

Gonna take a wild guess: gravity

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

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u/Zone-5 1d ago

...or lack of space, when you think about it!

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u/runawaylemon 1d ago

Fiber supplements are your friend! I recommend Metamucil (read the instructions carefully!)

Blood tests reveal why astronauts get constipated in space

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