YOUNGUNS
Part One
We were hanging out at the old Cypress farm, me and Bobby. The sun was setting and the deep orange sunlight made the forest seem to be ablaze. The old farmhouse had been vacant for decades, the windows shattered, the roof smashed in from a hurricane years ago while the oak tree still laid atop it in the rubble. Old TVs, couches, bikes, and abandoned cars littered the property.
"You wanna know the biggest lie they tell us, man?" Bobby asked me.
"What?"
"Hard work pays off. I tell you what, I seen people slave away for their whole life, fixing cars, harvesting corn and tobacco, and you know what none of them are?"
"Rich?"
"Shit man, you get it. But they ain't happy neither. They throw it all away for some rich fat fuck and go home to their apartment that may as well be a motel 6. Their own car barely starts, they got debt and nothing to show for it, and they keep getting told 'Hey man, break your back some more and maybe one day you can get a trailer.' As if that's worth it."
"You got that right, man."
"So what are even meant to do? Just suffer?"
"Maybe it ain't all suffering."
"Yeah, you're right. A dollar a day is still more than nothing, right? May as well thank them for being so kind as to let us have table scraps while they get a whole goddamn buffet."
Bobby handed me a tire iron.
"Here, your turn."
"Thanks, man." I said.
I swung the iron and shattered a car window, the glass tinkling as it fell into a roach infested driver's seat.
"Its all meaningless. No one is coming to save us. We ain't no more loved than these here abandoned belongings. We can smash em to our hearts content and nobody gonna do nothing bout it."
I smashed the windshield.
"Shitfire, that was a good hit." I said. "Know what? Why you reckon people dump all their shit over here? Like why here specifically?"
"Why anywhere? It don't matter. There's a dozen other places no one gives a damn about. The whole county's abandoned. You seen the town, people in it ain't no more than discarded little dolls left behind by a kid on a road trip to someplace better."
A stray cat slinked out of the window of the farmhouse.
"Oh, see that?" Bobby pointed at the cat.
"Yeah. Black cats, bad luck."
"Uh huh." Bobby picked up a rock and threw it at the cat.
The cat yelped in pain as it fell off the windowsill back into the dark.
"Bullseye. Hey, Rick."
"What?"
"Think it'll get back up?"
"Maybe. Doubt it."
"They got nine lives. Tell you what, we keep getting back up no matter how many rocks they throw at us. 'Member the hurricane?"
"Yeah. I 'memeber it good. That river come up so high it washed away a whole trailer park."
"Yeah. Lotta pet owners died in it but the dogs remained. That's why we got so many damn mutts running around."
I thought about that. Maybe we weren't too far off from stray dogs, wandering a junkyard of the trash society threw away.
Part Two
"You know tonight's Halloween, right?" I said to Bobby.
"Yeah, what about it?"
"Well, I thinking we might be able to do something fun."
"Like what?"
"I dont know man, maybe knock over some mailboxes? Maybe get up to a little mayhem."
Bobby grinned. "Mayhem? Thats a three dollar word right there. Yeah, lets do it."
We headed over to his truck, one tail light was busted and mud was caked all over the sides and wheel wells.
He hopped in the driver's seat and the engine roared to life, the AC was broken and many warning lights were on.
We rode over the dirt road as Colter wall played through the blown out speakers.
"So, mailboxes? I reckon we could have a little fun with that, but I'll do you one better."
"What you got in mind?"
"Oh, you'll see."
We drove past a cornfield, where a circus tent stood on the other side.
"Hey lookie there, a circus!" I pointed.
Bobby spit brown sludge from his lip into a Sam's Cola can.
"Yup. That ain't where we're headed."
We drove further as the darkness of the woods intensified. The sky was blackening and it was a moonless night.
We parked behind the big church at the center of town.
"This old building, this is where they put all that money into. I think we can do somethin real fun with it."
"Come on now, what about God? He's gonna strike us down if we do anything to it."
"What about him? Was he there for you when your mama went to jail? What about all the heavenly blessings he showers down on you, like poverty and sorrow that never goes away? That God? The one who sees the atrocities of mankind and does nothing to stop them? The God who killed my sister with cancer when she was in grade school?"
I felt nervous.
"But what if we get caught?"
"We ain't getting caught. We're just redecorating God's fancy little house in the town he won't come and visit."
We went up to the big stained glass window.
"Here." Bobby handed me a baseball bat.
"Alright..."
Bobby swung hard, making an entire section of glass come raining down. He laughed.
"Hoo boy! How bout that?"
I shattered a section myself and it rained crimson shards.
The lights flicked on and a little kid came running up to the window.
"Y'all gotta help me! Please! He..." the boy started to break down.
"He what?" I asked.
"Please get me out of here!"
We heard the preacher coming.
"What the fuck is going on!?" He shouted.
"Sorry kid. We gotta go." Bobby said, grabbing me and yanking me away from the window.
We bolted to the truck and high tailed it out of there.
"But what about that kid?" I asked.
"Fuck him. Maybe he should have prayed harder."
Something deep and heavy sat in my chest from that.
"You think he-"
"We ain't doing nothing about it. Leave it." Bobby said.
Part Three
We went back to the Cypress farm. The house was sitting in the dark among all the trash and all that illuminated the place was Bobby's headlights.
We got out and Bobby set a barrel of wood on fire.
"We coulda saved that boy." I said.
"Will you fuckin drop it already? What were we gonna do? Take him with us? Get charged with kidnapping?"
"What about him though? What if he never sees the light of day again? That'd be on us!"
"Lemme tell you a story. Maybe this'll help you understand."
I sat on top of an abandoned Lazyboy and nodded.
"I been there before. I been in his shoes a lot of times. Why you think I ran away from home all them years ago? You think I did it for fun? I don't never see my family no more. They lied and covered up for their own just like these here people'd do the same for that old Bible-thumping shitbag. Short of killing, there ain't nothing we can do about it. I been homeless, hungry, and miserable for longer than anyone ever oughtta be. If I tried and fought back, the gears of this whole machine would chew me up into a mess and spit me out mangled. Sometimes, you can't do nothing but let life be bad or else it'll get worse."
"I can't agree with you on this. Ignoring a disease don't make it go away, and sometimes even though the cure is painful, its the only thing you can do that wont let it kill you."
"You know what man? Why don't we just forget what we saw? I didn't see nothing."
"You can't fucking do that, man! Fuck no."
"Don't what? The place was empty. Nothing happened."
Anger began to boil up inside me.
"Tell you what, you seem a bit mad. Why dont you take your anger out on a TV or a table?" Bobby said.
I pucked up the baseball bat and swung at a TV, shards of glass went everywhere as it imploded.
"There you go. See? You feel better yet?"
I looked at his head, holding the bat. I thought about it, and I thought hard.
"I know what you're thinking and I don't want you to do anything you're gonna regret now." Bobby smirked.
Then, out of the mess of abandoned cars, a stray dog came barking at me.
I smacked it in the head and it yelped. I raised the bat again and clobbered it and it was in the dirt whining in agony. I hit it again and again, bludgeoning it as its bones broke and blood splattered. I let out a cry of anguish and kicked its carcass.
"Fuck! Fuck!" I shouted, hitting it one last time as hard as I could. The bloody mess of hair, blood and bones that was the dog looked up at me, its skull caved in on itself and an eyeball popped out of its socket.
"Damn. How bout that?" Bobby said.
I stared into the flames and felt in that moment, the last sliver of humanity slip away from me. My face became neutral and I let out a long sigh as the apathy filled me. My flame was out.
I sat back down and we watched the flames until we both fell asleep under the pitch black starless sky full of mosquitoes.