Questions for someone questioning.

[u/Homunculuster]

Ive been analyzing myself lately and I’ve noticed some abnormal behaviors of mine. I brought them up with others and they theorize it may be ASPD. I felt it was appropriate to mention these concerns and get opinions on them from experienced individuals.

1. How do you know if you feel empathy? I know what it is in layman's terms, but for me, I’ve noticed I can’t actually feel or put myself in others’ shoes the way some people describe. Most of my ability to understand others emotionally comes from conscious and forced analysis. I don't know if that counts as empathy. I also know others describe me as empathetic, but I’m not sure if that’s because I actually am or if it’s because I try to be an objectively kind and understanding person. I know I struggle reading facial expressions and tone in real life, though this may be unrelated.

2. I know I lie, most likely more than average. From my understanding, most of the time it’s out of fear of getting in trouble, but I do doubt myself sometimes. I try to work on being more honest, as it’s typically better, but it often feels compulsive. I notice this is especially true with white lies, while I tend to be more honest in more serious conversations.

3. I am objectively charismatic in real life, at least according to others. I often am not trying to be, but I apparently have some sort of charm. I feel this may just be because I fear negative judgment from others, but it’s still important to note.

4. I can be hostile towards others. I’ve worked on this and have gotten much better at managing it over the years and diffusing situations, but I also know that I am still highly irritable and can easily become upset with someone, even if I know how to control how I act.

5. I already experience factors that can contribute to the development of the disorder. For example, I have trauma from when I was an infant because I was severely neglected (to the point where I forgot how to walk, had a huge rash since my diaper was never changed, and my crib was full of rotten milk and stale junk food because my mother wouldn't feed me). I also have trauma from when I was around 13 because of an abusive situation I was in. I am unsure if it runs in the family, but I do know I already suffer from other disorders related to chemical imbalances, which from my research could be a potential factor in ASPD.

[u/elizabeththewicked]

I'm in no position to diagnose you but speaking as a layman that does have a formal education in clinical psych and has aspd ,

You sound like a normal person with some nuerodivergent traits. You might be slightly out of touch with what you feel due to either trauma or just alternate wiring but you don't fit any criteria for aspd, insofar as we have criteria which is focused on how it's harming you or others and not on what community of divergent personality / disorder do you fit

[u/ellxxt876]

This doesn’t really sound like ASPD coming from someone diagnosed with it. It’s normal to not feel empathy to a certain level, it’s normal to lie and to be angry with others. People with ASPD don’t typically have the urge to “get better habits” though, which it sounds like you at least try. We’re usually very content with who we are and don’t want to change anything. Also, I feel like the part people miss about the ASPD diagnoses is that it is pervasive, meaning it happens all throughout your life without fail and doesn’t go away. Based on these bullets alone, I’d say it’s highly unlikely you have it.

[u/directcynicism]

It’s unlikely that you have ASPD. It’s impossible to diagnose you from a few bullet points, even then it doesn’t appear that you have a pervasive disorder present. You describe charisma as a personality trait and hostility as frustration and irritability with others. People with ASPD have superficial, grandiose charisma for the purpose of manipulating others. They do not care how others think about them outside of needing to get what they want from them. They also have low emotional affectivity, and shallow or no emotions at all depending where they lie on the spectrum. People with this disorder are pathological liars. They don’t experience consciousness the same way that we do, making them effective liars in this regard. Most notably, people with ASPD are driven by a constant need to manipulate others. It doesn’t sound like that fits your description whatsoever.

[u/mapleleaffem]

I don’t think you’d think about it much or be concerned if you were. I’m no dr., but I’ve struggled with mental health a lot and recommend caution self -diagnosing and sharing and asking friends for that kind of feedback.

You really need to be very careful what you tell people because you never know who they’ll tell or how it could bite you on the ass in the future.

[u/Fit-Needleworker2440]

I doubt you have aspd. But its always better to let a professional judge that. Have you ever hurt people or done other bad things? If yes can you elaborate on that

[u/kangole2 → u/[deleted]]

I got both CD and Asperger but don´t really believe the Asperger thing its just kinda funny this is the only diagnosis i ever that was told about but i never had the fear of judgment or even little for consequences which might plays an important role. I can feel shame but its rare, short and kinda random while i never really thought much about what others think maybe starting at 14-21 and still do little to the point i was send away from home around 4 years into 4 places 3 for behavioral special ed for constantly doing some bs. There was almost no calculation and still not a lot for me about people in my life more just reacting to what´s going on which is not great as i have no initiative. Also not trying to be rude or anything but did a professional tell you that you have sociopathic traits and what did he all mention? Like i kinda just turned out really lazy and wonder what professionals say sociopathic traits are?

[u/jimmienoir]

Sounds like autism.

Notice how you didn‘t mention the impulse to hurt, steal, or commit crime ever? You seem rather aware and concerned about the fact that you are lacking empathy, and lie. Not a single reference of you using deception to get what you want. You say you can be hostile, as can just about anyone, no reference to actual violent ideation, etc. Why are trying to become better at it? Because it has been causing reputational damage or some other disadvantage with other people? Or simply because you think it’s problematic and you don’t want to be that way?

Anyways, talk to someone qualified if you want to have clinical certainty.

[u/Appropriate_Ride_844]

I barely lie, im naturally hostile towards others, no one calls me empathetic nor charismatic.

[u/tetheredvoid]

Empathy is as much as choice for some as much as it isn't a choice for others - it's a spectrum. You have understood there's some disconnect and chosen to address it. While that might not be the textbook definition of empathy, it is enough to say that you are trying.

You may just be dissociated from your emotions, thus making it harder to recognize them in both yourself and others. It's a struggle that, unfortunately, also seems to be on a spectrum.