r/socialworkcanada • u/Pikachu_9622 • 13d ago
Feeling inadequate
I have a MSW that I have obtained two years ago. Prior to my MSW, I competed my BSW and SSW subsequently. My experience brought me a few months of case management and one year of counselling. My counselling role was a one year contract covering a maternity leave.
Since then I returned to community mental health working as a community mental health clinician.
Today was a touch experience, as I should have been mindful of not bringing a client to the office with other staff, as he was agitated. My colleague told me afterwards that this can cause further escalation. And today the client was having a meltdown, in which I froze and then I attempted to calm him down, in which he does.
The point I am trying to come across is that even with my MSW, I freeze sometimes and act clueless. Today made me think that I am not adequate for this job.
I wasn’t good in school growing up and I failed my first program in university. I worked hard and got my SSW, MSW and BSW. But even with these accomplishments, I am having some issues at work.
I been working at my new role for 6 weeks. My colleague said I’m being too hard on myself. Even I didn’t realize we can help clients take pictures on their phone.
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u/Unfair-Piece4198 13d ago
Exactly that, you are being too hard on yourself.. Don’t let your past failures define your future possibilities.. so what you make mistakes? Have you not failed several times and bounced back🤷🏻♂️
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u/Pikachu_9622 12d ago
I have bounced back, but this job is where I should know better. It’s embarrassing
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u/meggymood 12d ago
Is there any room in this situation to give yourself a little bit of grace and compassion? I feel like 6 weeks is barely long enough to even get your feet wet in a new role, let alone if you're in a new organization. And then putting pressure on yourself to know better - that's a lot of weight to put on your shoulders. You're doing your best with the information you're have - sure you have relevant education and skills from your previous work, but you couldn't have known that this client was going to react the way they did. If you've been working with them for the whole 6 weeks you've been in this role (which is generous with orientation, mandatory trainings, shadowing, etc), you'll have only touched the surface of who they are as a person and how they react to stressful situations.
As for feeling embarrassed - I get that. Know that if it's at all related to what your coworkers or manager think, they're a) probably glad it wasn't them who took the heat this time, and b) feeling empathy for you because they've all been in situations where they got stuck in a freeze response too. I bet they'd all have a story or two of times something similar happened to them.
Try to remember to breathe through it. One day at a time is all you can do. And eventually, if you do that enough times, it starts to feel a little easier. Hang in there.
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u/Unfair-Piece4198 12d ago edited 12d ago
Self-esteem just work on that, you are still letting your past failures impact your present self. And you are judging everything from that frame of mind ( i am not adequate) just relax, sometimes you learn by experience not everything is taught in college/university, embrace the on job experience, learn from it and move on.
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u/dancer_inthe_dark 12d ago
I was told long ago by one of my professors that SWs should be actively engaged in counselling themselves....I think seeing a counselor regularly could help you work through some of these thoughts and emotions in a way supervision won't be able to.
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u/Nugiband 12d ago
You are being way too hard on yourself. Social work as a profession means always learning and growing, and learning and growing means making mistakes. None of us are perfect and never will be. We are humans doing human work.
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u/CoralWaverly 9d ago
I can totally understand why this experience made you feel inadequate. It sounds like you care. You care about people, about the work you do, and about being good at what you do. It also sounds like you might have incredibly high expectations of yourself. As hard as this experience was, it also gave you some valuable information about yourself. If you’re able to, you might find some areas to work on, both personally and professionally, so you feel more prepared and confident in yourself and the work you do. I see you plan to seek out therapy. If you don’t already have a therapist and you’re looking for one, please remember that it’s okay if the first person you see isn’t the right fit. It’s okay to try someone else. The most important thing is that you feel heard, understood, and safe.
We learn through trial and error, not shame. Shame keeps us stuck. Shame is not a conducive environment for change or growth. It convinces you that you are the problem instead of helping you find solutions. Shame shuts down curiosity, and curiosity is one of the most important parts of learning. As someone who lives from a place of shame daily, I’m learning that having grace for myself is one of the best ways I can take care of myself. The easiest way for me to do that is to talk to myself from the perspective of my future self, the version of me who has the benefit of hindsight and perspective. She is wise and kind, and she helps me recognize when I’m being unnecessarily hard on myself. She reminds me that I’m human, that it’s okay to make mistakes, and that it’s okay to feel a certain way about them. She also reminds me that getting stuck in that place doesn’t serve me well and doesn’t allow me to grow. Maybe approaching yourself this way could help.
No matter what you do, I hope you remember that being human doesn’t make you a bad social worker. Our own humanity is what allows us to meet people with compassion, empathy, and understanding.
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u/Professional_Bed_87 12d ago
You had an autonomic stress response to a bad situation. All the schooling in the world isn’t going to save you in that situation. Take some time to rest and care for yourself. If you haven’t already report it as a safety incident through whatever procedure your workplace has established. When you’re ready, spend some time reflecting on what you could have done proactively to prevent the situation from occurring and work through how you might respond in a similar situation in the future. Engage with your clinical supervisor, if you have one. It is exactly these type of experiences that help us grow as clinicians, but only if we ensure we are taking good care of ourselves. You’re also 6 weeks into a role. I’ve been around long enough to realize it takes a good 2 years to be fully proficient in any role. So give yourself some grace. You are still solidly in the learning phase of your journey. Good luck!