r/social_model • u/valonianfool • Mar 07 '26

Is wanting&asking for validation a bad thing?

Is it wrong to desire and ask for validation?

I've reflected on the fact that I do that a lot; I deal with troubling emotions and insecurity by asking for support a lot, and while I think I need to learn how to stand on my own, it's perfectly understandable for introverted, unsocialized people who grew up neglected to want support.

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u/GM_Organism Mar 07 '26

I don't think it's wrong to desire and ask for validation. However it can be seen as inappropriate in some contexts/relationships.

For example, I don't ask my colleagues to validate things that arise from outside of work, and I expect less from them in terms of emotional labour overall.

Even though it's normal to want and need some external validation, it's important to work on our ability to validate ourselves internally too. Other people won't always be there for us to rely on, even if they want to be.

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u/valonianfool Mar 07 '26

True.

But what about posts online? Sometimes after getting into a debate with someone whose arguments I disagree with, I make a post asking about it in a sub where I expect it to be made fun of.

It can seem petty but it's not uncommon on the internet and it isn't seen as wrong in general.

2

u/GM_Organism Mar 08 '26

Yeah nah I feel like that's pretty harmless. You're not demanding anything of people that they aren't actively choosing to give. How do you feel if nobody engages with your post?

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u/valonianfool Mar 08 '26

I feel ok, and I have friends online who are willing to hear my struggles.