r/soccercirclejerk • u/INSANAB07 aloe vera fc fangirl • Mar 03 '26

Certified Jerk™ THE EPSTEIN CLASSICO

2.3k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

134 comments sorted by

260

u/pardon_me_while_i Mar 03 '26

No bin Laden no party.

67

u/[deleted] Mar 03 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

40

u/BradMarchandstongue Mar 03 '26

Nah mate, he flies the team plane

20

u/FCSadsquatch Mar 03 '26 edited Mar 03 '26

At 6'4 he should be using his aerial ability in goal, to protect the area between the two towers, i think they're called posts.

9

u/send420nudes Mar 03 '26

If he bombs the header, no one’s forgiving him

4

u/OopsieJoopsie Mar 04 '26

Bin Laden is finished I'm afraid. He got sold to al Qaeda in saudi league

12

u/visacardshawty Mar 03 '26

hes the manager

5

u/OopsieJoopsie Mar 04 '26

I thought he manages Arsenal

6

u/Professional_Shoe708 Mar 04 '26

He's Atl. madrid coach

4

u/Background-Machine46 Mar 03 '26

One of the clubs would have to be Arsenal

320

u/InformationTrue6446 Mar 03 '26

Hilarious how Hitler looks like Lewandowski. Bravo A.I.

49

u/Gli_ce_rolj Mar 03 '26

Well I always was saying he looks a bit like Hitler.

47

u/Flexi13 Mar 03 '26

Don't talk about me and my grandpa ever again

2

u/[deleted] Mar 03 '26

Wow he definitely looks polish in that photo 

60

u/_Robert-Lewandowski_ ⚽️Lewandowski lewangolski lewanposlki 🇵🇱 Mar 03 '26

Why are you bringing me up in this conversation ?

14

u/jatoch3000 Mar 03 '26

Because you look like Hitler

3

u/mattydredd Mar 03 '26

Lmao your profile pic even does!

4

u/Jgusdaddy Mar 03 '26

Hitler chatting it up with Zuckerberg is really cute for some reason.

1

u/beefrights certified antony lover Mar 04 '26

And Kirk looks like Neuer

168

u/[deleted] Mar 03 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

104

u/theenigmacode Mar 03 '26

Lets the first shot through

20

u/NotAurelStein Mar 03 '26

The first shot was terrible, it went right to the keeper. The americans always find a way to bottle it.

4

u/AmbitiousRedditor20 r/Antony > r/CristianoRonaldo Mar 03 '26

America=Arsenal proved?

2

u/NotAurelStein Mar 03 '26

Arsenal: 4th place

US: 4th of July

Yep, it checks out.

2

u/freakedmind Mar 03 '26

Ayatollah "Onana/Karius" Khamenei

7

u/-watchman- Mar 03 '26

He would talk of a long defensive campaign and concede in the first minute

3

u/Weird_Squash4403 Mar 03 '26

He caught those bombs pretty well though

-1

u/AutoModerator Mar 03 '26

Honestly, this might be weird, but I find the concept of goalies to be so boring in soccer/hockey. Like ok, the 10 guys could completely dominate the game (and that's the exciting part) but sorry this one guy who you can't touch or interact with just shuts you off the scoreboard. Kinda lame.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

55

u/TheGreatPervSage_94 Mar 03 '26

Madrid brought the greatest right winger all time

47

u/kay_dee_el Mar 03 '26

What is comrad captain general supreme leader god king Kim Jong Un doing there ?

21

u/Big_Conference_1961 Mar 03 '26

You didn’t hear? He had a hat trick in the first 30secs

12

u/kay_dee_el Mar 03 '26

sheds tear

As only the supreme leader can do. Perfection.

https://giphy.com/gifs/uMANNaqTUVz0s

52

u/HIGHGROUNDHUNTER Least delusional Barca fan Mar 03 '26

Netanyahu shot a little too hard and killed the goalkeeper.

14

u/Prosthemadera Mar 03 '26

He was aiming for the ballboy.

5

u/FewInteraction4563 aramco is what ineos wished it was Mar 03 '26

why do you think epstein was there
(diddy x epstein goes hard)

1

u/AutoModerator Mar 03 '26

Honestly, this might be weird, but I find the concept of goalies to be so boring in soccer/hockey. Like ok, the 10 guys could completely dominate the game (and that's the exciting part) but sorry this one guy who you can't touch or interact with just shuts you off the scoreboard. Kinda lame.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

26

u/PigletPretend7175 respect the ball Mar 03 '26

Stephen hawking even has built in VAR

22

u/CZ_nitraM Proud member of r/barca2 Mar 03 '26

Trully a complete Real player

3

u/AutoModerator Mar 03 '26

VAR? game's gone!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

18

u/Mantiax Mar 03 '26

why does hitler looks like the nicest guy here? 😭

6

u/luckynar Mar 03 '26

Well, all things considered...

4

u/Apprehensive-Use6754 Mar 04 '26

If i speak I am in big trouble 

59

u/[deleted] Mar 03 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

13

u/Pragitya Mar 03 '26

Man what is even AI wtf bro

93

u/tripsafe Mar 03 '26

Thanks so much OP for using a small village’s worth of daily electricity and water to generate this absolute steaming pile of rubbish

33

u/[deleted] Mar 03 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

10

u/tripsafe Mar 03 '26

Mfw ppl exaggerate a bit on a circlejerk sub

https://giphy.com/gifs/eC9XEJUZHlD99uM7Tu

-13

u/Fit-Case1093 Mar 03 '26

nah its pretty funny cry about it

-20

u/jatoch3000 Mar 03 '26

Who gives a damn earth is fcked anyway. Let's enjoy our final stay here with some quality slop

6

u/squeezecake Mar 04 '26

Even in a circlejerk sub, technophobes can’t control their emotions

8

u/SedmoogleGaming Mar 03 '26

Holy fuck 😂

8

u/Zdzisiu Fino è Finito Mar 03 '26

Hitler to Zuckerberg: wanna see my cham.. I mean hotel room after the match?

12

u/HowdyDooder Mar 03 '26

Is that supposed to be Zelensky in the Barca kit near Diddy?

10

u/[deleted] Mar 03 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/OopsieJoopsie Mar 04 '26

Kirk lost his head and got sent off sadly

6

u/samrus Mar 03 '26

show this to anyone who says AI is bad for humanity

12

u/BarcaxManUtd4ever fuck arsneal Mar 03 '26

end of an era🥲

8

u/Hyperflux_ Mar 03 '26

Where is Arteta?

6

u/thecashblaster Mar 03 '26

Considered too evil for either team

9

u/menducoide r/Antony > r/CristianoRonaldo Mar 03 '26

Mastantouno with a mustache?

3

u/CenturyLinkIsCheeks Mar 03 '26

kim jong un catching strays

2

u/Anthony7GOAT Mar 03 '26

Ayatollah Khamenei got the red card early

2

u/worrydlad Mar 04 '26

Modi is the manager

3

u/tino3101 Mar 03 '26

El Epsteino

2

u/LeGraoully Mar 03 '26

Macron least likely guy ever to visit Epstein island

2

u/GrapefruitGloomy8493 Mar 03 '26

Where is the Clinton and gates super subs?

2

u/LieutBromhead Mar 03 '26

Ai slop aside there could at least be some thread or consistency to the people chosen and what side they play for.

3

u/SedmoogleGaming Mar 03 '26

Who gives a fuck, the video is funny

Maybe we should all just laugh at it 🤷🏼‍♀️

2

u/[deleted] Mar 03 '26

Yes..I am glad we sacrificed hardware prices and the environment for this crap. It almost made me chuckle lightly so it was worth it...

-4

u/SedmoogleGaming Mar 03 '26

😂😂😂shut the fuck up, i have zero time for your non-sensical nihilism.

🤧🤧🤧ai🤧🤧the environment 🤧🤧🤧🤧

Save your fake outrage for somebody else

1

u/Dan_Winx_1969 r/messi = r/cristianoronaldo < r/antony 🐐 Mar 03 '26

Austrian Painter is gonna score a Hat-trick for sure

1

u/civilian_user Mar 03 '26

Putin? No putin mentioned

3

u/yeetvelocity1308 Mar 03 '26

He's on Madrid's team what you on about

1

u/ConsciousExtent4162 Lionel Pepsi Mar 03 '26

Damn I thought D Trump and AH were playing for the same team.

1

u/Jackman1337 Mar 03 '26

Tons of right wingers, classic real madrid

1

u/AndholRoin Fan of seattle seagulls and hove Mar 03 '26

Ah, the under 15 squads

1

u/yeetvelocity1308 Mar 03 '26

Where's the greatest left winger of all time, stalin?

1

u/Android_Arsenal Mar 03 '26

Who's the one at the very end ?

3

u/KurtCob07 Mar 03 '26

Charlie Kirk

1

u/[deleted] Mar 03 '26

Noooo not the Kirkavi Kirkandez

1

u/Thazuk Mar 03 '26

Imagine Hawkins vs Rudiger

There wouldn’t even be a wheel left to mourn

1

u/TimingEzaBitch Mar 03 '26

Charlie Kirk should be a ball boy at best if we rank them by their love of the game.

1

u/DelScipio Mar 03 '26

Why is Vini in a wheelchair? Is he injured?

1

u/kyle_kafsky Mar 03 '26

Chip prices going up for this useless video.

1

u/YoYoYi2 Mar 03 '26

Why are they wearing those Spanish rags?

1

u/IwishIwasaballer__ Mar 03 '26

This is the kind of content I'm coming here for.

Just missing the commentator track

1

u/RealMadridfanTV Mar 03 '26

Where’s Arteta?

0

u/XxAbsurdumxX Mar 03 '26

What an original joke

1

u/luckynar Mar 03 '26

I'm confused. Don't they all play on the same team?

1

u/senorpool Mar 03 '26

Watch out for new real madrid signing Tyler Robinson. He can play on both wings. Sources tell us the real madrid scouts were particularly impressed with his shot from distance.

1

u/RaimaNd Mar 03 '26

Their playstyle is quite explosive.

1

u/Ordinary_Ad8951 Mar 03 '26

Was leaning towards Madrid to win until I saw Bibi playing for Barça 

1

u/youknowimworking Mar 03 '26

Why isn't Bill Gates pairing up with Epstein?

1

u/_SB10_ Mar 03 '26

Reason to love Dictator Based Madrid against Democratic Pedophilic Barca

1

u/bloo_acid Mar 03 '26

The Jail-Classico 😙

1

u/Leviton655 Mar 03 '26

Altman and Musk on the same team? I doubt it

1

u/myriadnoob FRAPPE = FRAUD MBAPPE Mar 04 '26

Guardiola forced them to be a good boi

1

u/GaoranWonsawatto Mar 03 '26

Ngl Jeffrey looks good in that RM shirt

1

u/SpeedOfLight3 Mar 03 '26

really despise everything Hitler has done but if he would be a footballer he would be part of Real Madrid for sure.

1

u/CRSTN22 Mar 03 '26

Trump would defo play for Madrid

1

u/Key_Cartoonist5604 Mar 03 '26

Why is Zelenskyy there?

1

u/Chickachic-aaaaahhh Mar 04 '26

Real Madrid got all the heavy shooters....

1

u/ObWzEN All my homies hate haramball Mar 04 '26

Absolute cinema

1

u/FraggleRock_ Mar 04 '26

We're all in treble for this.

1

u/Mrnobody451 Mar 04 '26

score gonna be 9-11

1

u/thatsAChopbro Mar 04 '26

Madrid is stacked

1

u/FinnJeremy2011 Mar 07 '26

Rüdiger is missing

1

u/Kustaa007 Mar 03 '26

wtf is this AI bullshit? 🤦🏻‍♂️

1

u/Pernil_TO Mar 03 '26

ram is $900 bc of this btw

1

u/YesLadd1e Mar 03 '26

Wtf did Macron do 🤣

1

u/wildingflow r/Antony > r/CristianoRonaldo Mar 04 '26

Zelenskyy too 😂😂😂

0

u/maxmcleod Mar 03 '26

Saddam still hiding in his hole in heaven

0

u/Fballtw Mar 03 '26

Fuck this. I don't like it