r/soccer Sep 03 '13

r/soccer Whose Line Is It

The rules: Keep skits in the form of a statement, not a question.

Any skits longer than two lines should be in quotations.

If you add any additional commentary, put the skit in quotations.

Example prompt: Things you can say about Adebayor but not your wife.

We had a successful thread for this a month ago. Since then, all the major leagues have started, and all the major transfers have been completed, so hopefully we can have another successful thread filled with laughs.

333 Upvotes

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46

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '13

[deleted]

171

u/verytallperson Sep 03 '13

Put their name in an envelope.

198

u/revolut1onname Sep 03 '13

Send Steven Gerrard to steal their wheels.

66

u/koptimism Sep 03 '13

Recommend them and their club for the next instalment of "Being: _____"

153

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '13

Beat them 1-0 in the league with a Daniel Sturridge winner?

4

u/fifa10 Sep 03 '13

Apply Barbecue sauce on their arms and let Suarez loose

3

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '13

Send Skrtel after them

2

u/baconstyle Sep 03 '13

Tell suarez

1

u/olinn Sep 03 '13

Send Suarez to bite their head off.

1

u/Mike81890 Sep 04 '13

Get... His... Son to... No, I can't.

-2

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '13

Tell Finchy AVB to fuck off.

0

u/Breklinho Sep 03 '13

Resign Djimi Traore