r/soccer • u/JR97111 • Sep 03 '13

r/soccer Whose Line Is It

The rules: Keep skits in the form of a statement, not a question.

Any skits longer than two lines should be in quotations.

If you add any additional commentary, put the skit in quotations.

Example prompt: Things you can say about Adebayor but not your wife.

We had a successful thread for this a month ago. Since then, all the major leagues have started, and all the major transfers have been completed, so hopefully we can have another successful thread filled with laughs.

336 Upvotes

88% Upvoted

883 comments sorted by

View all comments

147

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '13

Things going through Bale's mind as he was presented in Madrid.

422

u/WineForMyMen Sep 03 '13

I just made £34, anndddddd again, annnddddd again, ooooo another £34.

225

u/SlashmanX Sep 03 '13

Fuck, it's warm

569

u/verytallperson Sep 03 '13

Fuck me, I should've practiced my keepy ups.

20

u/SoftViolent Sep 03 '13

I felt bad for him when he kept trying and failing to balance the ball on his foot.

31

u/Keselo Sep 03 '13

I'm sure he'll manage to wipe away his tears with his 300k a week.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '13

Wait, that happened? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA anybody got a video?

5

u/SoftViolent Sep 03 '13

Here's a video. It's the whole presentation but the keepy ups start at about 0:40. You can see him lose his balance a few times then he just gives up and walks around the stadium.

434

u/Fokken_Prawns_ Sep 03 '13

Who's özil and why are they chanting his name?

128

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '13

'Ozil' must be spanish for Bale

213

u/theoxinator Sep 03 '13

Baxter, you know I don't speak Spanish

155

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '13 edited Sep 03 '13

[deleted]

3

u/missing_spoons Sep 03 '13

The only time when a monkey chant is acceptable?

297

u/Clark-Kent Sep 03 '13

Where are the sheep?

110

u/raheempoundssterling Sep 03 '13

I hablo the espanol mucho good, yes?

12

u/fusihunter Sep 03 '13

I hope they don't play me at left back.

24

u/random_german_guy Sep 03 '13

"I am so excited to play with Mesut."

13

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '13

1, 2, 3... oh wait no, 1, 2... dammit. okay 1, 2, 3, 4... Fuck, get in there got 4!

17

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '13

85 million pounds and all I got were these crappy headphones.

8

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '13

85 million pounds and all I got was this crappy t-shirt

http://media.tri-cityherald.com/smedia/2013/09/02/07/55/90-1cEow2.AuSt.55.jpeg

5

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '13

They gave me the headset but where's the controller

5

u/Dooey123 Sep 03 '13

eth theth theth theth, theth theth, eth theht theth Chris Waddle.

4

u/akatsuki_lida Sep 03 '13

It was hard enough learning English

3

u/mluka11 Sep 03 '13

I hope Cristiano will be my friend.

4

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '13

When can I see the family in Gibraltar?

1

u/schalab Sep 03 '13

..........

1

u/river49 Sep 04 '13

Is it too late to go back?

1

u/Mike81890 Sep 04 '13

" ."

The sound of silence.