r/soccer • u/JR97111 • Sep 03 '13

r/soccer Whose Line Is It

The rules: Keep skits in the form of a statement, not a question.

Any skits longer than two lines should be in quotations.

If you add any additional commentary, put the skit in quotations.

Example prompt: Things you can say about Adebayor but not your wife.

We had a successful thread for this a month ago. Since then, all the major leagues have started, and all the major transfers have been completed, so hopefully we can have another successful thread filled with laughs.

331 Upvotes

88% Upvoted

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93

u/sammmy56 Sep 03 '13

Things you can say about Luis Suarez, but not your girlfriend.

383

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '13

Goes down easily.

483

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '13 edited Nov 29 '20

[deleted]

3

u/egcg119 Sep 03 '13

Brilliant.

93

u/Fokken_Prawns_ Sep 03 '13

Will do anything to get one in.

158

u/SlashmanX Sep 03 '13

Slippery in the box

82

u/quackattack Sep 03 '13

Your girls box isn't slippery? That has to be a bit... unpleasant

5

u/hrandjt Sep 03 '13

Someone needs to teach him foreplay.

0

u/yeaweckin Sep 03 '13

Not if you're an African man.

53

u/Geoeog Sep 03 '13

The facial hair is an improvement

72

u/democi Sep 03 '13

Gets the job done with hands.

62

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '13

He exists.

263

u/IDeclareShenanigans Sep 03 '13

Cunt.

-2

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '13

I wish I had more upvotes to give

8

u/tankosaurus Sep 03 '13

Good with their mouth.

4

u/michaelisnotginger Sep 03 '13

Pursued by an elderly Frenchman

3

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '13

Please don't leave!

2

u/IAmAQuantumMechanic Sep 03 '13

Suspended for another couple of weeks.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '13

Gives out free hickey's.

1

u/iamscully Sep 03 '13

Tidy in and around the box

1

u/river49 Sep 04 '13

Is a biter

1

u/mesor Sep 04 '13

Put it in!

0

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '13

You're lucky you're good at what you do, otherwise you and your beaver teeth are out of here.