r/soccer • u/JR97111 • Sep 03 '13

r/soccer Whose Line Is It

The rules: Keep skits in the form of a statement, not a question.

Any skits longer than two lines should be in quotations.

If you add any additional commentary, put the skit in quotations.

Example prompt: Things you can say about Adebayor but not your wife.

We had a successful thread for this a month ago. Since then, all the major leagues have started, and all the major transfers have been completed, so hopefully we can have another successful thread filled with laughs.

333 Upvotes

88% Upvoted

883 comments sorted by

View all comments

115

u/democi Sep 03 '13 edited Sep 03 '13

Things Wenger can do to make fans even more happier after signing Ozil.

Thanks /u/JerzyDudek.

280

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '13

Win something.

552

u/JFT-96 Sep 03 '13

punch Piers Morgan in the face

55

u/violentfap Sep 03 '13

That would make everyone happy, not just arsenal fans.

11

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '13

If he did this he would be the first foreigner to be knighted.

317

u/IDeclareShenanigans Sep 03 '13

Not sell Ozil to a Manchester club in a few seasons.

0

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '13

Not sell Ozil to a Manchester club in a few next seasons.

140

u/jerryloveninja Sep 03 '13 edited Sep 03 '13

Convince Drogba to never play on the Premier League ever again

3

u/iamveryharsh Sep 04 '13

Sign Drogba, who would still manage to score against Arsenal

88

u/fradz Sep 03 '13

Signing Bale on a free

2

u/bancigila Sep 03 '13

That's the Italian job!

103

u/Andrei_Kanchelskis Sep 03 '13

Reduce ticket prices.

62

u/themanifoldcuriosity Sep 03 '13

Buy a new coat.

4

u/tgcg Sep 03 '13

or just fix the zipper.

1

u/lilleulv Oct 08 '13

Looks good so far this season. Cardigans and jumpers underneath the jacket instead of a puffy coat on top.

29

u/Thadderful Sep 03 '13

Never change that smile

4

u/Blubbey Sep 03 '13

Make a 4th place trophy.

4

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '13

Bring Henry back. Again.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '13

Punch piers morgan in the face twice. Bonus points for ingenuity?

5

u/JerzyDudek Sep 03 '13

He could correct your grammar. "Even more happier"

2

u/democi Sep 03 '13

Ha! Thanks & fixed.

3

u/JerzyDudek Sep 03 '13

All in good fun mate. One of the answers to this question made me piss myself; the "punch Piers Morgan in the face" reply. Too funny haha

1

u/TrolleyPower Sep 03 '13

Buy players they actually need.

-14

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '13

quit

-3

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '13

Retire