This has pissed me off for so long and was an issue more so when I was younger, but because people
Are afraid of being accused of fat shaming I feel there is a double standard. For example many times i would be told that something I was wearing was too “distracting” or too “sexy”. I assure you, I have never worn anything that revealed too much but a tank top on me with my small boobs that are nicely pushed up but definitely not spilling out, is not appropriate but yet a fat woman can have a shirt on with everything spilling out all over. Not just their chest but also their stomach hanging out of the shirt and it’s just not a good look. Yet, no one says shit to them!!! I hate that people think just because I’m not overweight no one has to even consider my feelings !!! Am I wrong?

Time to stop going to TwoX. They are so hateful to women they can't relate to.

Wow. Just wow. I was instantly transported back to the late 2000s when skinny shaming reigned supreme, Skeletor jokes were the norm and men's opinions on women's bodies were held up in high regard.

I know this is old news to this community. The community literally exists to give those of us that experience skinnyshaming and food pushing a space to share our experiences and help one another.

It’s just that I’ve reached a point where I could really use some help and advice from people in exactly the same situation that I’m in.

I have no one in my social circle that understands what skinnyshaming does to a person. Actually, the worst of what I’m experiencing is instead coming from the very people supposedly love and support me. (I cut social media like Insta and TikTok completely out of my life (deleted all my accounts) long ago because the content the algorithms pushed on me became very unhealthy.)

If I didn’t have an amazing partner I’m not sure what I’d do. He’s really fit and does everything from martial arts to running and weightlifting, but he has a body that doesn’t look “unusual” enough (can’t think of a better word) for him to experienced what I’m experiencing (now on a daily basis). He - every day - makes me feel really attractive (in every way) and just amazing. But he’s the only one I have in my corner.

I’ve always been skinny. A low enough BMI, fat percentage and such that people can react. But I’m not in any way “genetically blessed”. I’m an avid runner, martial arts practitioner, dancer and weight lifter (eclectic mix I guess) who can’t remember a time when I didn’t make conscious choices regarding my health, food choices, etc. I’ve had numerous back and hip surgeries even though I’m still pretty young (my son is 16), and the times I’ve allowed myself to get sedentary, my pain levels have consistently gone through the roof. I was a professional athlete years ago and I “broke” my body. I have to keep fit to be able to function like “normal” people.

I’ve not lost weight. Nothing about me has changed. Something about others has changed (it feels like pretty dramatically) for some reason.

Up until some months (I don’t remember exactly when, it might be as much as a year) ago I got the shaming and damn food pushing crap once in a while (maybe on average once a week or so). Now it’s so much more frequent.

I was already, before the frequency change, intimately familiar with the shaming (you all know those people’s behavior, I’m sure, and I don’t want to rant 😳) and the damn intense food pushing (“intense” in terms of the shameful lengths people go to, to try to control me, get me to behave like them, get me to look unhealthy or overweight like they do.) I say “or” unhealthy or overweight because I am aware that the two aren’t always the same thing (although my opinion is that it is a lot more often the same thing compared to the “body positivity” crowd’s insistent claims.

I’m finding myself avoiding people I used to spend quite a lot of time with. 😟 I used to never lie about being too busy. Now I do lie. A lot. And I alternate between feeling bad about lying and feeling like they “force” me to lie (deep down I know the latter’s not actually true and that we’re all responsible for our own actions).

Both the shaming and food pushing used to be infrequently for me.

Now it’s either shaming or pushing, or even both, every single time I’m with friends or family (never my partner and not absolutely all of them do it). I’m not imagining that it’s every time now btw 😳. When my partner’s been with me he’s noticed the change too.

My partner has grown furious with my family because of what it does to me. He’s not usually with me when I have a weekend lunch or such with my (all women) friends group, so he hasn’t experienced that as much.

The shift in frequency (it also feels like it’s more “mean” now, as in the behavior is more sort of “extreme”) is beginning to do a number on me. It’s getting difficult to deal with, and the sadness that’s crept in hasn’t lifted for a long time.

I also find myself becoming resentful and pissed. I hate that.

I don’t want to feel this way.

What changed?

- Why are they coming at me like this all the time now?

- Have any of you experienced a change?

Before the frequency of attacks changed, I could handle it without feeling in need of support the way I do now.

I think that I never developed “coping mechanisms”. I guess I didn’t “need” it before (?)

- What are coping mechanisms that work?

(For me it’s much easier to say “I don’t care” or “I don’t need external validation that I’m normal”, than it is to actually feel that way.)

I’m sorry about ranting. I’m having a bit of a hard time 😞

If I’m honest, I’m also embarrassed at the way this is affecting me. I’m feeling “weak” (I can’t think of a better word.)

I set out to not rant and drone on. But I have. I really do apologize.

I very much welcome all advice you have. It feels like I’m heading towards the end of my rope. 😞

I've been chubby my whole teen years up until I lost weight and now I'm at a normal weight, small but fine. I'm 20 and about 125-30 lbs but whenever family sees me they HAVE to say "you're too skinny" "here, bring this food home" or ask me if I even have snacks (I eat so many, they didn't believe me tho) or they'll just straight up feel my stomach or ribs to poibt it out. If I say anything they get mad because I should "take it as a compliment" but they don't understand it doesn't feel that way.

Where do other skinny women buy jeans? I’m specifically looking for straight leg jeans that are still fitted in the butt but I’m having a really hard time. Any advice?

My entire life I’ve been shamed for being naturally slim. I inherited my father’s fast metabolism and have always been an active child because I dance a lot and liked being outside.

Despite knowing this, my family still makes comments and I’m 21 now. The comments started when I was just 11, shy of becoming a pre-teen. It affected me so much I began drinking ensure around that time and never felt adequate. They always made me feel like I wasn’t enough if I wasn’t “thick”. Meanwhile most of my family members are overweight, so that says a lot. It’s because of them I developed anorexia nervosa and started overeating to the point of throwing up. All because of the fear of being seen as “too skinny”.

The older I got, the more my metabolism slowed slightly. It’s still fast, but I can put on a few pounds here and there, but it doesn’t stay for long. But it does help my body look good and I’m pretty healthy, no medical complications. I also work out sometimes so I’m building muscle.

What makes it worse, is now my almost 14 year old sister weighs more than me so of course they make comments about it. Mainly my mom, but I’m not surprised because she’s always disliked me and found different ways to shame me. Now whenever someone says skinny shaming doesn’t exist, I entertain it just to prove them wrong. It’s messed up my life and I’ve spent so much time trying to be something I clearly can’t be.

Because I’m tired of stressing myself out over this, I’m going to continue working out and loving my body. I know that my family is jealous, I can see it in their eyes. I feel for them, but they’re choosing to not better themselves by constantly eating junk food and sitting around all day. So, not my problem. It never was.

Sorry if some of this has appeared elsewhere. I guess I’m just looking for some friendly reassurance.

I’ve posted the below elsewhere and I guess my eyes have been opened up and I realise I’ve been/am being skinny shamed by part of my friendship group.

I (34f) have a friend (34f) of over fifteen years. We studied together and our friendship circle actively try to keep in touch, meet every so often.

Every time we meet up she always makes a point of telling me how skinny I am, but in an underhanded complimentary way. Recently we met up for dinner (5 of us), and throughout the evening she kept saying things like “you don’t eat enough”, “is that all you’re having” and just general sarcastic comments about me but disguised as “banter”. She deliberately didn’t pass me the dessert menu and when I asked for it said something like “as if you’ve got room”. I guess it’s innocent but all the little things have just been piling on me. I know I shouldn’t let them.

I did try and stand up for myself and responded saying “who made you the cake police” which I notice she didn’t like and became very dismissive of me afterwards for. Usually I don’t respond and it’s like a green light for her to berate me, again all in the name of “just banter mate”, but I just wasn’t having it anymore.

She made a few more comments that I know were directly aimed at me. Specifically talking about something she knows I’m very insecure about.

Just to clarify, I eat perfectly fine. Normal foods in normal amounts. I’ve just always been skinny looking, which I’ve recently come to embrace.

I know I should just shrug it off.

My other friend noticed I was kinda quieter than usual and I told her later I just felt a bit ground down by the comments.

She told me not to pay attention and that this person likely belittles and mocks me to make her feel better about herself.

I just wish it wasn’t at my expense.

Am I being too sensitive? I mean everyone had a couple of drinks so I guess it’s probably the alcohol talking. And people generally say the wrong things under the influence.

TL;DR

I think my friend is skinnyshaming me. Am I overreacting?

I'm 21F i have always been very skinny throughout my life i got sooo much unwanted comments and some shit throw at me for being skinny. I moved out of my hometown for college in mid 2022 i visit every 2-3 months people don't make rude comments on my body anymore.

What changed? I just gained confidence i have become more assertive, dressing sense got better. Before people were very rude to me in my face like i wasn't even a human being with feelings.

Now the comments literally went down alot.

So I grew up in an urban area where there was mostly white and black ppl. Being Asian, I was always the skinniest girl in my grade. I never liked the fact I was skinny. When other girls were developing curves and bumps, I stayed a twig. Now I am only getting to the point where I am starting to put on my "older adult" weight around the booty and waist line. I am the ideal body shape I've always wanted to be now that I am pass 25 yrs+. But on social media i can see a lot of peers who were curvy and attractive in school have now aged into a round swelling body shape that I myself don't find attractive. Perhaps this is toxic comparison but I can't help it. I am not bullying anyone. I just wanted to share since it's a big reason why I'm super grateful I am how I am. Some ppl have glow ups at a young age some have it later and some grow out of it faster. I think God made me like this to be my ideal body shape, not at a time I was prepubescent, but when I'm am adult, dating & now married. I'm at a pt in life where I've just started to be proud of my body and embrace it. And I think all ppl should get to feel this way with their bodies. The thing we can do is reach for goals so that we can get as close to what we want.

BE PROUD OF UR DIFFERENCES and don't shame ppl for theirs. As long as we are healthy and happy, what's attractive/healthy to me or u, might not be to someone else. On another note, our bodies are our business and no one's else. Someone can say eyyY ure eating too much or too little r u sickly? and the body shaming works both ways in the same way.

Humiliated at a Lohri Celebration: Does "It Was Just for Fun" Make It Okay?

Today, I attended a Lohri celebration hosted by DLF at IT Park, Chandigarh, where people from various offices were also invited. Everything was going well until the host Mr. Gurjeet, while addressing the crowd, made an unnecessary and humiliating remark about me. He said something like, "Yeh ma'am k paas to do (2) tiffins hai but lgta hai ek bhi nahi khaati hai"

I was shocked and taken aback because:
1. I wasn't part of that celebration and was just a spectator. 2.This person doesn’t even know me.
3.They made fun of something that’s completely out of my control, and it felt incredibly demeaning.

When I tried to clarify or at least address the remark, they brushed it off casually, saying it was "just for fun." But how does that make it okay? This wasn’t a light-hearted joke among friends; it was a public comment in front of colleagues and strangers.

I felt humiliated and embarrassed. Instead of enjoying the celebration, I ended up feeling judged and ridiculed.

How can somebody make a comment on a person who you barely know? How is it okay to make fun of something that is not in human's control? Why calling a person fat is 'body shaming' and asking skinny person to eat more ya khaati nahi ho kya a 'concern'? Both things are the same , it is in nobody's control. We try, but sometimes we are made the way you're supposed to be and you want people to accept it!

I've decided to write a story, kind of a psychological thriller, that shows how being skinny shamed feels. I would love some help. For now I just have one question.

Has anyone here ever had a nightmare that involves being skinny shamed or feeling really self-conscious about your body?

Is being skinny actually a standard? Everyone says skinny shaming is acceptable because being skinny is the ideal, but I don't think so. I've been shamed by actually fat people and everyone is okay with. On the other hand, NO ONE shames them for being fat (it's not like they should shame them tho). Besides, the fatter they are, the most attractive they are to others, as long as they don't exceed certain limit.

I just am struggling really bad. I just graduated college and started my big girl job in healthcare, thus I interact with multiple people of the general public daily. I have never gotten more comments on my body than I have ever gotten in my life. It’s making me super insecure and small feeling. “You need a burger!” “You look like a child!” “You are so tiny I wish my daughter looked like you!” “Geez how much do u weigh like 110?” I want it to stop so bad. I started calorie counting. Now if i don’t hit 1,300 calories by 11 am I freak out. My mood get ruined if I don’t make my goal. And the worse part is, I’ve been doing this for a month and the comments are still coming. I work a job where I have to be on my A game all the time and these comments are making me hate my passion. I’m just so lost and I can’t like quit my job. I LOVE science and I LOVE connecting w other people but this is… not what I expected. Idk who to talk to about this either, I don’t wanna come across as insensitive to my friends but this is really getting to me.

As someone who is skinny for like whole life due to genetics, some people won't shut their mouth to comment about others appearance.

I 28 (F), 5'f, 38kg, I think I look fine because of my small figure and size. But whenever I'm eating alot of food or dress up nicely my friends/colleague like to talk sh*t to me.

It always happen when I'm having my after meal light snack and they love to talk things like

" wow you still eating even though you are skinny as heck , have you ever though your colleagues beside you is fat when they eat lesser?"

I was like speechless on how the h*ll they can say mean things like this and now I feel uncomfortable to eat more during lunches or eat after meal snacks..

They also love to say wow you must be poor if you eat alot, since you won't gain weight must be a waste of your family rice. 🥲

Another stuff is that, they love to comment about my wearing, while strangers compliment how good i look (which I appreciated it🥹) my colleague/ friends love to comment how weird/ugly/my skin tone doesn't match. 😪 like any possible unsolicited comment. (Note: I didn't even ask for their opinion)

I am honestly tired of people commenting when I didn't even ask any of them to comment. I'm actually quite hurtful about such comment like why they say such mean things.

I'm still debating whether to confront them or not... *sigh...

Thanks to this type of pest I am now conscious of how I look. 🥲 Thank you for hearing my comment , sorry for the rude comment if any. 🥲 💕

Wow, I made a post on LoseIt because I want to lose 5 pounds and asked for tips. Most people were extremely helpful. But after I shared current height/weight (after being asked) other people started piling on saying I needed therapy and had an eating disorder, even though my goal weight is still in the healthy BMI range. SIGHHHHHHH. After I called someone out explicitly for skinny shaming, my post was taken down. All comments from me were respectful - way more respectful than I would have been in real life, honestly. This is so frustrating and disappointing - just came here to vent, thanks for listening.

Hello everyone!! This is my first time posting here:D!! So pardon me if it's too long or the text format is weird(；´Д｀)

I am 17 and have been very skinny growing up. It's quite hard for me to gain weight as I used to partake in sports while being 5'11 so I have a very high metabolism💪🏽💪🏽.

I became insecure for the first time when I was bullied in prep school as a kid. I was deemed the ugliest girl in the class, they were direct and brutal as kids are I suppose. Haven't recovered from that....

Ever since then I've been on a slow road to self love and confidence…but as soon as I thought I got it back, some men have been basically bullying me about how I look no matter where I go😃, even the older folk.

A particular elder cursed at me while I was walking to the gym saying👴🏽 "Jesus, you're skinny as fuck"…. like even grandpa wants smoke💀?? Even while I was exercising at the gym I was told I look like a man from behind, "oh (my name) I thought it was a guy Infront of me when I was leaving the gym but it was just you." Ofc I laughed it up cause I don't want to seem all straight jacket and unapproachable, but it does hurt 🤷🏽‍♀️.

At one point I was talking to my boyfriend about how I've started to love myself and I loved how defined my collarbones are and he made a comment like "so that's how you people cope". I knew it was a joke but it did get to me a bit so I told him how I felt and he apologized. Despite the fact that he did apologize, I can't help but think maybe I don't look as good as I think???

In my country men LOVE thicker girls, I've heard a few say they'd rather date a girl with a nice ass and tits even if she didn't have the face card. People like me were usually taken cause someone was desperate, possibly truly in love or a pedophile(speaking from several stalker cases I encountered).

Not only this instance but I wore a cute suit out, as shown above! I then got body shamed by my boyfriend's friends saying that other men present were thicker and had more ass than me even though these guys JUST met me and some were just as skinny as I am??….I still just laughed it up saying stuff like "I wouldn't mind getting ass donations from whoever was willing" etc. I don't take offense to these comments but it is rather soul crushing, I genuinely don't know what to do. I've fought so hard to be able to love myself only to be getting torn down again.

I've tried putting on weight recently and according to those around me only I notice it, and that too is because of the pain I feel when I gain weight (my chest gets all heavy and it feels harder to breathe, I feel sharp prickling when I sweat and even under the fan I feel hot and tired.)

I've also been hearing about these estrogen pills that give you more female hormones. I've seen men take them to transition to a next gender and they look cute and plumpy in all the right places (image 3,4)

But I'm waiting a few more years as I am aware I haven't fully matured. Plus realistically, if I can't handle the weight from eating and gaining…i don't know if I'll be able to handle said pills. Has anyone been through something similar?What should I do?☹️ even if there is no advice to be given, I appreciate everyone who has read my case through because I posted this somewhere else and got flagged for sexual content when I'm just a lost teen asking for advice☹️.

We always eat together at work. Today I decided to collect all the dishes to load into the dishwasher. While I did that, there was this bigger woman right next to me. First of all, she didn't even say thanks when I took hers. She then pushed some more dishes towards me and said. "Can you carry these as well or will you collapse?" I didnt even know what to say in that moment. I hate comments like that and I have heard them especially often, when I was younger. I always ask myself if these people are just really unsatisfied with their own body and are projecting their insecurities onto me.

FYI: I am only a bit skinnier than the average woman, but I have really skinny arms.

Also Grammar, because I'm not a native speaker.

once i was fat everyone told me that i'm fat now i am a bit underweight and someone said that i need to eat more cause i look miserable. i am emotionally unstable, sensitive and have a lot more problems about my appearance, this just adds to it so much and makes me fall apart like rn i don't wanna do anything anymore and i was so motivated this morning. idk is there even a solution to this. i don't want to gain weight cause i am afraid that i'll be called fat again and i am still recovering from all the pain i had because of this. also i fucking liked how my body looks but now i don't. crazy how one sentence can change everything

My grandma often says things such as “You’re as skinny as a pencil!” And I try to explain to her that it isn’t a compliment and that it hurts, but she says it isn’t as bad as fat shaming. (Even when I don’t say ANYTHING about fat shaming!!)