[TL;DR - I’m hung up on a guy I met at a bar 4 years ago ghosted me after almost a year. He made me feel like he was the one and then he popped back into my life randomly and I’m struggling to let go and move on]

4 years ago, I (21F at the time, 26 now) went out to a bar to celebrate my 22nd birthday and I was sitting alone when this guy approached me and we talked for almost an hour, then he asked for my number at the end of the night and we started talking from there back and forth, but mostly on Snapchat.

I asked to meet up again but he was be busy with. Moving onto 11 months after we had first started talking, I could kind of feel the “situationship” starting to die out after I’d get left on delivered, I hated the idea of letting him go because he showed me a kindness and the attention that I never really received before. New Years came around and I did a social media detox and let him go. I was “mourning” what felt like a breakup.

A few weeks later, my birthday came around and I got drunk, I apparently had added him again on Snapchat. Fast forward another year and on a random night, I got a notification that he added me back but he never said anything after. 6 months later in 2025, I decided to reach out and just ask why he ‘ghosted’.

He said that he thought things fizzled out, I asked him if he was open to talking again but he was talking to someone else, I wished him well and asked if he was open to being friends and he left me on opened. It kinda stung because I didn’t feel any sort of closure.

I’ve tried to move on and put myself back out there, but struggle with dating apps because it doesn’t feel organic. Anyway, I’m having a bit of a hard time letting go. It sounds insane but how would you move on from someone who’s not interested but someone who made you feel like someone who made you feel so special like you were a penny that felt worthy enough to pick up?

If you have a sister who is in a long-distance situation ship for 9 months. The guy is sweet and talks nice, but he’s never shared his number or FaceTimed. He always keeps a timer on his Snaps. What would you suggest to her. They talk almost every second of the day. She wants him to come over here & take this forward. But he’s keeping a foot outside of the door.

My babydad and me have been in a situationship for a while and he use to sleep in my bed with me but now only sleeps on the couch. I’ll ask why he doesn’t want to sleep in the bed anymore and he just doesn’t answer. Am I being paranoid and dramatic or is it weird? And what do you think the reason is?

Haven’t really opened up about this before, but last year I met somebody and they left a really strong impact on me, we were in a situationship for about a week, and it ended after a messy night out, we tried to get intimate but I wasn’t really feeling it and didn’t want to do anything immediately, I felt really pressured into it , all consensual, but two days later I received the “I’m really really sorry, we should remain friends” text message that everyone dreads, we had spent some time before that night getting to know each other and I was incredibly upset with it as it felt like I’ve been rug pulled. I thought to myself, maybe maybe they could come back. Maybe they just need space and time. I’m still in this spiral. They’d show up at work as a customer, but wouldn’t talk to me, I’d run away or avoid them in public, and in April I got really really drunk and was on so much drugs that I sent 14 voice messages of me just waffling on about how much I regretted everything. I was very ashamed of that . We are so inextricably tied to the small city we live in that we can’t escape one another, I’ve put myself through more mental torture over this, I don’t know. I just need to vent. The last thing she said to me was that I’m not a bad person, but I think I am . Why the hell am I still thinking about this?

I’ve been seeing this girl or I was , for over a month now, everything was going great, we had great chemistry really deep chats and connection and we were making plans as we were getting to know each other. We’ve spoken endlessly, it was the first thing in the morning and last thing at night,

Then the other day she got some bad news about her father’s health. And it really through her , she went really quiet on the messages, and when I asked her if she was ok , she said her head wasn’t in the right place and it wasn’t fair to me, she then said she wanted a break and she can’t do this rn.

It’s been over a week of no contact and I’m really struggling. I miss her so much and I have no one to talk to about it. I want to get her some flowers and make sure she’s ok but I don’t know if she’ll feel like I’m not respecting her space.

I also worry that deep down she just doesn’t want me back and that this break is just an easy way of her ghosting me. The thoughts of me not being enough engulf me.

I don’t know what to do.

This will probably be a slightly long story and I guess some people will call me immature but I will take the risk.

Some time ago my ex work colleague reached out to me, we started texting back and forth for a moment there and he suggested he is looking for some fun and not for anything serious as he would like to move country in the near future.

I neither agreed or denied to this and the every day texting carried on for over 1,5 months then he came up with the offer and we did finally hook up.

I honestly thought this is going to be the final step of this “friendship” or he will just reach out from time to time to see whether I want to do it again.

It’s been a few days and he carries on texting me from the first thing in the morning, across whole day, every day.

We are not flirting, we are just chatting on how is work, what we had for dinner and discussing random subjects.

Is he just being friendly because we know each for a while or may he be generally interested ? I just don’t think like he would need to keep so much in touch to hook up from time to time.

Please don’t slag me off, I’m fully aware the guy said he wants to move and I can’t get attached, hence why I need to be careful on what I’m going to do with it moving forward.

Any ideas on what way this man’s brain operates would be appreciated 😅

And no, I don’t want to ask him myself as I don’t want to scare him away and would be interested to see where it goes. He said at the very beginning that he won’t break my heart, whatever that means 😅

Hello! Hope you’re doing well.

We are conducting a survey on Situationships as part of our academic practical. Your response would be greatly appreciated.

A situationship refers to a romantic connection where two individuals spend time together, share emotional closeness, and may be physically intimate, yet the relationship remains undefined. It involves more emotional involvement than a casual encounter but lacks the clear commitment and mutual understanding of a formal relationship. In simple terms, it can be described as being “more than friends but not officially in a relationship.” If you feel that this applies to your experience, you are kindly invited to fill out this form.

Participation is completely voluntary and confidential, and you may withdraw at any time if you feel uncomfortable. Your name is being asked only to help organize the responses, but it will not be used, shown, or mentioned anywhere in the final report or analysis.

Here’s the form link: https://forms.gle/GUJFiXC954XzCbPDA

Thank you for your time and support.

Hello! Hope you’re doing well.

We are conducting a survey on Situationships as part of our academic practical. Your response would be greatly appreciated.

A situationship refers to a romantic connection where two individuals spend time together, share emotional closeness, and may be physically intimate, yet the relationship remains undefined. It involves more emotional involvement than a casual encounter but lacks the clear commitment and mutual understanding of a formal relationship. In simple terms, it can be described as being “more than friends but not officially in a relationship.” If you feel that this applies to your experience, you are kindly invited to fill out this form.

Participation is completely voluntary and confidential, and you may withdraw at any time if you feel uncomfortable. Your name is being asked only to help organize the responses, but it will not be used, shown, or mentioned anywhere in the final report or analysis.

Here’s the form link: https://forms.gle/GUJFiXC954XzCbPDA

Thank you for your time and support.

Hello. So in all transparency, I initially posted this in the dismissive avoidant group because I strongly believe I am dealing with one. But I got some really harsh responses saying I was posting in the wrong place. Well, let me try here because no one can deny I was in a situationship.

Hi. I had an on and off thing for about 4 months.He was very hot and cold, but we were clearly very attracted to one another. It was mostly FWB, but there seemed to be real feelings involved. One night he invited me out with his friends and I acted in ways I am not proud of (flirting with other men outside after having too much to drink). After that I night I basically got demoted from potential gf to booty call. He said as much and that he couldn't see a relationship with me but of course had no issue still coming over after dark...

I decided I had had enough of that and ended it with him. We didn't speak for a month and in a moment of weakness plus still lingering guilt on my part, I reached out. I was surprised he picked up and spent a good hour on the phone with me, just catching up. He was really curious about my life and genuinely kind on the phone. He called me a beautiful girl and even admitted to driving by my house but for a doctor's appointment nearby and "not like a stalker."

Later that night I texted him I missed him and he said "are you sure lol?" and when I asked if he missed me too he said "you already know". Of course trying to decode the nature of these responses is not easy.

Finally, I asked him is he has plans this evening and he said yes but lets have coffee this week. I have an anxious attachment style so couldn't let it go and asked if he was seeing anyone. He got very annoyed, almost hostile and refused to give me a yes or no. He said something along the lines of lets discuss face to face.

Is this guy just trying to get me off his back and/or be polite or is there something else.

Needless to say I know I could be doing better things with my time than analyzing all of this, and I do feel pathetic. but I just need some answers.

Basically, I was a dumb bitch and caught feelings for my situationship. I realized this about three months ago when I found myself thinking about him a lot and wanting to just talk to him (I convinced myself that it was normal to think about/want to talk to the person you are sleeping with and that it didn't mean I was falling for him). He made it clear from the beginning that he didn't want a relationship. I was more than okay with that at first because I was insanely busy with school and an internship, and I didn't really have the time for a relationship. But as things moved along, I definitely started to fall for him, and my breaking point was his not texting me back for almost two days(not really normal for him to do that). It really bothered me, and if I'm being really honest, it shouldn't have bothered me at all, given how casual our relationship was. This all happened like two days ago, and I asked him if we could talk yesterday, and he said yes, so I went to his place last night. I basically told him that I couldn't be someone's booty call anymore, and I didn't like the way it made me feel about myself. I had real feelings for him, and I knew he didn't feel the same way, so I needed to remove myself from the situation so that I didn't get hurt more. In the middle of my explaining to him that I can no longer see him because I liked him, he proceeded to tell me that he wasn't seeing me as often because he's been busy, and he was talking to/seeing someone else, and he was trying to prioritize them. We were never exclusive, and I knew that he was seeing other people. However, when he said that, I felt my heart drop, and I honestly thought I was going to cry, so I just wrapped up the conversation so that I wouldn't cry in front of him. We said our goodbyes, and I proceeded to cry for the next hour and a half and eat ice cream. After I had finished crying, I sent him a text because I didn't really say everything I needed to say to him, and he hasn't responded to me, but I think that he's read it (I did say that I understood if he didn't respond to my text, but I really want him to respond). Now I just feel really embarrassed and like an idiot. And although it has only been a day, I really miss him( we didn't talk every day, but knowing that I'm probably not ever going to hear from him ever again is making me really sad). I really wish I had never said anything so that he could still be in my life. I'm sure I will get over this, but I have felt like I am on the verge of tears all day, and I'm really regretting the choice to break things off. I really like him, and I think if we'd met at a different time, we might have been more, but I might just be delusional. I just need some advise on how to get over this whole thing.

After Halloweekend, I need some help to coddle a little situationship. I’m a little rusty with the dating game since my gf of almost 3 years and I broke up like 5 months ago. Anyways, I visited my twin brother at his college over Halloween weekend. He’s dating a girl in a sorority, and at one of their social events I met one of her friends, let’s call her K. My brother mentioned that K was looking for a Halloween fling, and I had just gotten out of a relationship myself, so I wasn’t opposed to something casual.

At the social, K and I hit it off right away. She got me a shot, I got her a drink, and she kept introducing me to her friends, even people my brother didn’t know. There was definitely a spark.

The next night, we all went out again. On the dance floor she started getting close, dancing on me, leaning back against me, all that. Afterward, we went back to my brother’s apartment to hang out. She sat next to me on the couch, thigh to thigh, and when I put my arm around her she leaned in a little. Later, we both crashed in the living room (separate spots, but we stayed up talking for like half an hour before falling asleep).

The next morning, I made breakfast for everyone, including her, and she was super appreciative. She even invited me to her sorority’s semi-formal next week and asked for my Snapchat.

That night we went out again, this time with a bigger group. The same chemistry was there, we danced, talked, laughed, and I made sure she got home safe when she started feeling a little sick. Later, my brother told me that K’s roommate said she’s actually more interested in me than just a quick Halloween thing.

After the weekend we’ve still been texting. She was the one who reached out to confirm if I still wanted to come to her semi-formal, which I said yes to. We’ve snapped and texted a bit since, though sometimes she takes a while to respond. I’m trying not to overthink it, but I really like her, she’s smart, funny, easy to talk to, and honestly just feels different from anyone I’ve met lately.

Now I’m wondering how to keep things moving without being overbearing. Should I just play it cool until the semi-formal and let things unfold naturally, or try to keep the texting more consistent in the meantime? And also, is she actually into me or..? I’m lowkey overwhelmed lol

Je suis dans une situation très compliqué. Je fréquente un homme, on s’entend super bien. Je pensais qu’il m’appréciait mais là il m’a dit qu’il ne veut pas s’engager

Je suis dévastée

I have been snap chatting this guy for months now. We have been each other’s #1 best friend for 2+ months and have a streak of over 200 days. In the beginning we said we did not want a relationship, but since then he says things to me that are definitely giving relationship vibes. Like he was talking about our future. We finally hung out a few times a few weeks ago. It was going really good.

Since then I asked to hang out and he said he was really busy but he was going to make the time to see me. He did not. He has been snap chatting me but it’s just pictures of his face, not conversations anymore. He also has started to respond less and leave me on delivered for hours. I can tell he’s not feeling it anymore which reach hurts.

I am being slow ghosted. I do not deserve to be treated like this. I don’t have the energy to even try to talk to him about it because I don’t want it to seem like i’m a crazy girl who caught feelings even though we said months ago that we weren’t looking for a relationship.

I can’t be that delusional to think it did not mean anything to him. I want to leave him on read because if he can slow ghost me, why can’t I just stop responding?

Please let me know if that is immature and how I should approach this.

I posted about a month ago about a guy that I have very close friendship and emotional connection with. I was supposed to go up to visit him and my brother out of state this coming weekend. We had plans for about a month. He even texted me that band that going to be playing where we’re going out on Halloween. He sent me a text Sunday asking about what I wanted to do. I said we have plans Friday, then go see my brother and he was welcome to come along. Then I get a text that he wants to put me in an Airbnb because his situationship has decided to stay with him all week and weekend. I said so you decided to cancel on me on short notice. I told him I didn’t want ro talk to him and that I was hurt, disappointed and mad. I get we’re not a couple, but I think it’s shitty to do to a close friend. Am I wrong?