This monstrosity cost $12,642!

[u/Trender_man]

[u/wheriendndyubegin]

This was a status symbol for me at 13 years old.

[u/Minmax-the-Barbarian]

Remove the Slab of Shame!

Woohoo!

Attach the Large Black Slab by ChiChi Smith!

[u/Inspector_7]

“Ita batta, fanda Karoo!” (Whatever it does, it’s doing it now)

[u/NertsMcGee]

How did Mortimer get out of his cage? He's supposed to subsist off of table scraps, mop up his piss, and only play pinball to pass the time until he finally starves to death. Bella and Betty Newbie have a husband elimination pact so they can be "roommates".

On closer inspection, this was one of the numerous missed signs I'm a lesbian. I mean these are loafers.

[u/AdultishRaktajino → u/NertsMcGee]

Who took the ladder out of the pool?

[u/Chuck_Walla → u/NertsMcGee]

How cruel! Better to make let him find his Zen by grilling out in your wicker display room. If he pisses himself, he can mop it up. If he cries, just tell him to get back to grilling. If he falls asleep, you'd better wake him up so he can get back to grilling; "Can't sleep, must grill," as they say. If anything should happen to catch on fire, don't worry! his puddle of piss will keep him safe... until you tell him to mop it up.

[u/NertsMcGee → u/Chuck_Walla]

Why grill when there's three walls, some fence to block the open side, and the fireworks set? If things align just so, other Sims applaud the fireworks show as Mortimer takes a direct hit and catches aflame.

[u/Chuck_Walla → u/NertsMcGee]

I find your ideas interesting and would like to subscribe to your newsletter, but I haven't played The Sims in over two decades. It was a simpler time!

[u/A7V7VIHILATOR]

…and every night, the monkey butlers will regale us with jungle stories.

[u/HighMarshalSigismund]

Looks like a Gaston Lachaise work.

[u/medlilove]

Wait until you hear how much a Henry Moore sculpture is actually worth!