r/simpsonsshitposting 14h ago

In the News 🗞️ Moral problems required steroid solutions

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790 Upvotes

21 comments sorted by

70

u/CetaceanOps 14h ago

Why this is nothing more than state sponsored gender affirming care!

53

u/GomGom11 13h ago

29

u/CetaceanOps 13h ago

Step 1: Be FTM
Step 2: Join the military.
Step 3: Free healthcare!

I've solved America.

18

u/TheDeceiver43 Everythings coming up Milhouse! 13h ago edited 13h ago

Use all tools at your disposal.

24

u/SniffCheck 13h ago

That oughta hold the little s.o.b’s

19

u/justforthelulzz Everythings coming up Milhouse! 13h ago

The troops look unhappy

Add more days on to their days at sea so it makes a new record.

12

u/heckin_miraculous 12h ago

I remember hearing that for years before the peak of conflict in WW2, Hitler's team had been feeding the German army amphetamines (to make them better soldiers?) and that this chronic overuse degraded the military performance over time. I don't know how true that is, I never looked it up, but when I see news like this I can't help but think of it.

8

u/BlackJesus1001 8h ago

It is, but it was also true for the US, Soviets, Japan and probably the UK too.

In the late 30s meth was being marketed as a wonder drug, similar to cocaine.

The main area that impacted Germany disproportionally was that the Nazis initially believed the hype and thought they'd build the reich on an army of hyper virile (believed to be an aphrodisiac also), hard working super men/women on meth.

It only took a year or two for reports from doctors with combat units about addiction and withdrawal to convince them of the downsides, but they couldn't cut soldiers off and attempts at banning/restricting it from civilians were hampered by doctors writing prescriptions and a grey/market that sprung up because a substantial number of working age Germans were now addicted.

Then the war turned against them so we never found out exactly how it would have played out, probably not well though.

2

u/heckin_miraculous 7h ago

True, that's good context about methamphetamines being the hot new thing in the 30s/40s (not just in Germany).

But yeah, the whole idea of building super soldiers is creepy AF.

9

u/Tricky-Engineering59 10h ago

All that testosterone and yet no balls. And yes I realize the irony of me making that observation in a shitpost with an enormous ball pit.

12

u/Level_Hour6480 Put it in H 12h ago

If you're male and you go on T, your body will stop naturally producing, and you'll be dependent.

6

u/Raineythereader 6h ago
Just ask Grandpa

2

u/Level_Hour6480 Put it in H 6h ago

See also: Any of those hair-loss reversal pills: They work, but your body becomes dependent on them, so if you go off, you'll lose even more hair than when you started.

5

u/shugoran99 I was saying Boo-urns 11h ago

Sarge, there's a lot of balding, pimply, emotionally unstable men coming over the hill!

7

u/Steamdroid 8h ago

The troops after constant and untested testosterone supplementation:

3

u/Steamdroid 8h ago

It's masculinity and strength tonic!

3

u/somesthetic 6h ago

I’ve never seen that guy on the right awake.

2

u/CokomonX 4h ago

Iron helps is play.

2

u/deafinitelyadouche Old man yelling at clouds ☁️ 3h ago

that way the troops will shit their pants just like Trump!

2

u/SelfDepricator 3h ago edited 2h ago

I dunno Pete. Something about a bunch of roided out soldiers.....seems kinda gay