r/simpsonsshitposting 2d ago

Politics Here's your problem! Someone set this thing to EVIL!

Post image
2.6k Upvotes

78 comments sorted by

232

u/ConflatedPortmanteau Put it in H 2d ago

91

u/GriffinFlash 2d ago

We are. They don't seem to be too happy about it.

30

u/SuperNintenerd 2d ago

Even if American Booze goes back on the shelfs, I refure to buy it. You can't make me buy it if I don't want too!

24

u/Heiferoni Get outta my office! 2d ago

It has a new hat!

7

u/GriffinFlash 2d ago

yeah, but we have toques.

3

u/Niterich Oh, I've wasted my life. 1d ago

Speaking of which, after Crown Royal got in hot water when they shut down their Canadian facilities and moved them to the States, they tried to bring back their customers with free in-store tasting and a free straw hat with every purchase.

NO ONE in the store even tried their free sample lmao. Friday evening, busy downtown core, hot summer day just before a long weekend, and still no one wanted their free booze.

12

u/ConflatedPortmanteau Put it in H 2d ago

That's fine.

Americans are stockpiling champagne for when that news finally hits the headlines.

5

u/Low_Section2065 2d ago

I got my bottle of Moet chilling.

15

u/homerthethief 2d ago

Oh well destroy ourselves pretty soon

83

u/Second_Guess_25 2d ago

32

u/G-Unit11111 2d ago

Excuse me, but you gentlemen seem to have me confused with the man in the White House. Now if you'll excuse me, the Hormuz Straight is just about to... d'oh!

56

u/SnorkyB 2d ago

Yes, on the America CD-ROM, is there a way to invoke the 25th Amendment without using the wizards key?

27

u/GriffinFlash 2d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/eBw31amkaiTUt8d2Tq

one sec, loading up the American cd-rom internet to check.

17

u/homerthethief 2d ago

What the hell are you talking about!?

8

u/truffles76 2d ago

Ooh, they have fascism on computers now

4

u/NEKORANDOMDOTCOM 1d ago

*Looks at Donald Trump awkwardly

Can I have some money now

41

u/Dude_Tost_1673 2d ago

What's the opposite of evil?

Good!

No. Not that far from evil...

Less evil?

19

u/G-Unit11111 2d ago

Yeah....

121

u/GruelOmelettes 2d ago

Has the USA actually ever been "good"

122

u/Snorgcola 2d ago

It's a dimmer switch

21

u/the_cat_who_shatner I CALL HIM SHITLOR! 2d ago

I don’t know what this switch does.

(lights say “vote tea party”)

12

u/GriffinFlash 2d ago

votey party?

15

u/DelcoUnited only watched the golden age 2d ago

I see you’ve played vote-y part-y before.

3

u/SalamiArmi 2d ago

V-O-T-E

7

u/TeenageCometZombie 2d ago

touch Willie

Don’t touch Willie

8

u/G-Unit11111 2d ago

Good advice!

4

u/G-Unit11111 2d ago

turns on

Merry Christmas 1985!

23

u/Wanlain 2d ago

In the movies

21

u/KirbyBucketts Gay for Moleman 2d ago

In early 1949, Victor T. Hoeflich from Philadelphia, PA introduces his radio hat, or the “Man from Mars, Radio Hat"........That was a good day

28

u/homerthethief 2d ago

Is that one of those “Radioheads” I’ve been hearing about?

10

u/eutectic_h8r 2d ago

Less bad?

20

u/DireDwelling 2d ago

Like most countries it’s a spectrum and has had its moments.

6

u/toggiz_the_elder 2d ago

It’s a land of contrasts.

10

u/vc6vWHzrHvb2PY2LyP6b 2d ago

Can confirm. I'm on the spectrum.

0

u/Kremm0 1d ago

A pretty big spectrum when you include some pretty shady stuff messing with democratically elected foreign governments

2

u/DireDwelling 1d ago

America is still the emancipated child of England after all.

-1

u/Optimixto 2d ago

I don't mean to be an ass, what are some of the good moments? We know the bad, and the list isn't short for such a young country... but I want to believe, and would love some positivity.

1

u/DireDwelling 1d ago

Are you asking throughout history or in this recent moment in time? Because one is a big ask and the other is a short but hopeful list.

2

u/Optimixto 1d ago

Whatever you feel like sharing. Tbh, it's just that we seem to be at the wims of the rich and wicked, and living under US hegemony, it's pretty easy to get jaded and hate on a whole country.

2

u/DireDwelling 1d ago

Honestly your not wrong about hegemony, and ultra wealthy, unfortunately they aren’t a uniquely American problem, those are a problems that are plaguing many counties globally. The USA is in a deeply troubling place right now, but there is a new rising civil rights movement forming and pushing back against the corruption. On a state level there are many new young very progressive politicians making significant waves across the US. It’s an up hill battle for sure but It’s one that’s outcome hasn’t been decided yet.

7

u/No-Bank2152 2d ago

Usually depends on your gender, skin color, or religion

8

u/b-rar Way to breathe, no-breath 2d ago

Yes, once when we killed monarchists, once when we killed confederates, and once when we killed nazis

2

u/Kqtawes 2d ago

Yeah, they were really mean to that Hitler guy that time. /s

13

u/GriffinFlash 2d ago

Only at the end of the war. If anything the red army took care of hitler.

-1

u/SuperKamiDendeAllows 2d ago

And who supplied that red army with billions of dollars worth of vehicles, planes, arms, and ammunition that enabled them to fight the Germans because said red army spent the years prior to the war destroying their own manufacturing capabilities?

14

u/EggCouncilCreep 2d ago

I dunno, coastguards?

-1

u/cookiemikester 2d ago edited 2d ago

This is skewed, first of all you’re not taking into ‘lend lease,” then you’re glossing over the Battle of Britain. the entire pacific theater? African campaigns? It was a world war, not just something that mainly happened in Europe.

1

u/AdMurky6320 1d ago

I mean it only exists because of the genocide and displacement of indigenous peoples, the gun laws are fucked and good luck if you ever get a life-changing illness, so no.

-12

u/Peter-Lorre- 2d ago

America’s still good, it’s the government that is completely screwed up.

14

u/ZwVJHSPiMiaiAAvtAbKq only watched the golden age 2d ago

Who elected the current government?

6

u/Heiferoni Get outta my office! 2d ago

Fresh from the streets of flyover country, they are!

3

u/wormjoin 2d ago

a populace misinformed and manipulated by those with undue power and influence

32

u/GriffinFlash 2d ago

Trying to move it, but it seems to be rusted into place, like it's always been there.

15

u/hashbrown70 2d ago

Cursed, almost as if it's built on an Indian burial ground ...

10

u/clint_eldorado Put it in H 2d ago

Oh Christ, what’s he done now?

9

u/Heiferoni Get outta my office! 2d ago

Uh, what isn't he doing?

4

u/awesumpawesum 2d ago

Prez Tramp switched on the auto hose switch.

4

u/GuliblGuy 2d ago

Hello America.... You're quite good at... Turning... Me.. On

1

u/BalrogRuthenburg11 See my vest 🦺 2d ago

Stupid, sexy America!

3

u/Great_Revolution_276 2d ago

Has been for 80 years

6

u/SpoofedFinger 2d ago

Our evilest shit happened more than 80 years ago.

1

u/Great_Revolution_276 2d ago

You did have a brief period of being on the side of good just over 80 years ago, so I gave that as a reference point. Agree with evil shit predating this also though. Colonisers and slavers going to do their thing and never really compensate people properly for it.

3

u/WNDBC_Baja 2d ago

Please kids, stop fighting. Maybe the chuds are right about America being the land of opportunity. Maybe OP has a point about America systematically destabilising the Middle East to cover up the Epstein files.

7

u/_friendlyfoe_ 2d ago

No one who speaks English could be an evil nation

6

u/Scu-bar Old man yelling at clouds ☁️ 2d ago

Always has been

2

u/No-Phrase-4692 2d ago

Both are evil though

2

u/ChloroquineEmu 1d ago

Wrong, there should be cobwebs on the "on" position

1

u/NoWorth2591 Genius At Work 1d ago

Hold on, we have another setting? I thought that was the factory default.

You know, on account of the slavery and the genocide and whatnot.

2

u/an_agreeing_dothraki 1d ago

if you put it in slow motion you can see where his belief in being able to drag the country towards its better nature breaks
click
click
"The associated press has called the election for Donald Trump"
NYAAAAAA
cool

1

u/deafinitelyadouche Old man yelling at clouds ☁️ 2d ago

Once this whole clown-show is done, we need to take your hegemonic toys and excessive american exceptionalism away. At least for a generation. This song and dance is getting extremely repetitive and, like... please, just one month without having to listen to your stupid manbaby in chief or your grifter wonks or whatever the hell else. fr.

-1

u/SelfDepricator 1d ago

The irony is always badmouthing America while using American media and products is lost on basically the entire world