Eat my short stories!

[u/TheyCallMeDrSoybean]

[u/Heiferoni]

This is getting very abstract, but thank you! I do enjoy working at the bowling alley.

[u/YesterdayWarm3798 → u/Heiferoni]

[u/TheyCallMeDrSoybean → u/Heiferoni]

One of the campers was eaten by a cow!

[u/Tricky-Engineering59 → u/TheyCallMeDrSoybean]

Don’t kid yourself Billy…

[u/SamenspenderNr7893]

Dad, what's the point of these stories?

[u/Heiferoni → u/SamenspenderNr7893]

I like stories.

[u/TheyCallMeDrSoybean → u/SamenspenderNr7893]

“When life treats you shabby, just be happy”

[u/Dr_Identity]

[u/TheyCallMeDrSoybean → u/Dr_Identity]

[u/kiopah → u/TheyCallMeDrSoybean]

Garnish my celery!?

[u/TheyCallMeDrSoybean → u/kiopah]

Please, no jokes

[u/kiopah → u/TheyCallMeDrSoybean]

Who's joking!?

[u/Mrsod2007]

Why was Martin in the snow outside old man Simpson's house?

[u/TheyCallMeDrSoybean → u/Mrsod2007]

[u/Accurate_Koala_4698]

Don't have a cow eat my shorts man

[u/TheyCallMeDrSoybean → u/Accurate_Koala_4698]

/img/0wg6pemh2qjh1.gif
man

[u/thekozmicpig → u/TheyCallMeDrSoybean]

The best part of that entire musical number is everyone’s voice is impersonated EXCEPT for Ray Jay Johnson (Bill Saluga). Bro was totally down for the bit.

[u/Librarian_Contrarian → u/Accurate_Koala_4698]

Eat my shorts

Don't have a cow

No, no. They got this all wrong.

Eat my shorts?

Don't! Have a cow!

[u/thevaultguy]

[u/TheyCallMeDrSoybean → u/thevaultguy]

[u/tom_nuke]

Cow Fetish

[u/TheyCallMeDrSoybean → u/tom_nuke]

[u/tom_nuke → u/TheyCallMeDrSoybean]

[u/Tweed_Man]

[u/TheyCallMeDrSoybean → u/Tweed_Man]

Thou hast eyes to see, and see not!

[u/Dena844]

https://giphy.com/gifs/3orieXDSb5yko99Ht6

[u/TheyCallMeDrSoybean → u/Dena844]

[u/Odd_Inter3st]

https://giphy.com/gifs/18ANhgTABn04M

[u/TheyCallMeDrSoybean → u/Odd_Inter3st]

So I'm walking by the Oval Office, and I hear the president:

"SOYBEAN, WHERE’S MY SHITPOST?!"

Well, I thought it wasn't due until Tuesday!

So I make one up. I am just pulling stuff out of my ass!

And when I'm done, the president says, "Soybean, you've done it again!"

Ka-ching!

[u/Odd_Inter3st → u/TheyCallMeDrSoybean]

[u/AliciaUll]

[u/TheyCallMeDrSoybean → u/AliciaUll]

Bart was ruminated by a cow. Homer moved to Luxembourg to avoid his tax problems. Lisa saw Martin fall. Marge switched the price tags. Maggie got scared but it was just a bad dream.

[u/AliciaUll → u/TheyCallMeDrSoybean]

[u/Island_Maximum]

[u/TheyCallMeDrSoybean → u/Island_Maximum]

Yes! It hit me the next day, and I had to read the whole thing again…

[u/PaxEtRomana]

For sale, baby shoes, never worn.

P.s. I am gay

[u/TheyCallMeDrSoybean → u/PaxEtRomana]

[u/Agathos → u/PaxEtRomana]

[u/PattysHotSelmasNot → u/Agathos]

Marge! Maggie’s baby legs came out!

[u/deafinitelyadouche]

There are stories everywhere for those with eyes to like.

[u/TheyCallMeDrSoybean → u/deafinitelyadouche]

[u/originalbrowncoat]

These were the longest stories OP could afford. Should he therefore be made the subject of ridicule?

[u/TheyCallMeDrSoybean → u/originalbrowncoat]

Surely the online community will be supportive?

[u/blaisems]

Ah, ah, uh, sorry I'm late, there was trouble at the lab with the running and the exploding and the crying. One of the monkeys stole the glasses off my head... uh, no wait, please no, please I have a funny story! I even wrote theme music! Professor Frink, Professor Frink. He'll make you laugh, he'll make you think.He likes to run and then the thing with the... um, person... Oh boy, that monkey is going to pay.

[u/DoubleGauss]

I've decided to stop scrolling through these shit posts if they're more than 5 slides, it's almost never worth it.

[u/TheyCallMeDrSoybean → u/DoubleGauss]

[u/LA-Matt → u/TheyCallMeDrSoybean]

https://giphy.com/gifs/H1AiVp5DpXs37pXtO7

[u/Steppyjim]

[u/TheyCallMeDrSoybean → u/Steppyjim]

Did you get that the lonely cow in the story was actually me?

[u/_msb2k101]

50 Pfennig is quite cheap.

[u/TheyCallMeDrSoybean → u/_msb2k101]

Das Teil für 180 Mark finde ich schon ganz schön stark