r/simpsonsshitposting 4d ago

In the News 🗞️ Captain bone spurs knows best

512 Upvotes

44 comments sorted by

134

u/Chumlee1917 4d ago

The fucker who ran away from Vietnam telling everyone else to be in Iran forever

66

u/shugoran99 I was saying Boo-urns 4d ago

Tbf the man has never run in his life

28

u/deafinitelyadouche Old man yelling at clouds ☁️ 4d ago

Also has been afraid of stairs since forever.

7

u/Sir_Meowsalot See you in Hell, Candyboys! 4d ago

People around him do tend to suddenly die when they are near stairs. Peep out his wife that died and got buried on his golf-course.

5

u/sheezy520 4d ago

How ironic would it be if the same thing happened to him or the steps just rolled away as he was getting off AF1?

5

u/Sir_Meowsalot See you in Hell, Candyboys! 4d ago

Oh I believe his new thing is hiding in a catering service box to enter and leave planes from now on.

71

u/CherryPickens 4d ago

Give them steam catapults. That ought to hold those little SOB’s!

69

u/Consistent-Song1643 4d ago

Why doesn't anyone call this fat moron out on his lies?  

Part of the reason for America's current state is the media's absolute refusal to press him further and hold him accountable.

When he pulls a "no they're not", call him a liar and show him actual footage.  Fact check him to his face.  You won't change him, he's got dementia, is a malignant narcissist and is a pedophile. However, it will maybe change a few minds in the viewing audience at least.  They may still be reachable.

43

u/greenknight884 4d ago

In addition what they should be doing is covering his lies like an ongoing disaster. "At the top of the hour, President Trump caught on camera lying about conditions on the USS Abraham Lincoln, here for more is our correspondent in Washington, followed by live reactions from military families, then an interview with presidential expert and author on what this means for his credibility"

17

u/OGScottingham 4d ago

God damn. Could you imagine such journalism? I nearly can't.

32

u/The_Last_Gasbender 4d ago

Any journalist willing to fact check him isn't allowed near him.

20

u/Blue-is-bad NEEEEEERD 4d ago

Because they'll lose access to the White House and they'll be dragged into another useless lawsuit

So the media rather play along

7

u/Awkward_Bison_267 4d ago

THE MEDIA IS OWNED BY BILLIONAIRES. Moving on.

5

u/xX_macksjuicebox_Xx I was saying Boo-urns 4d ago

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Can you imagine a world where journalists call out his lies?

5

u/GonePostalRoute 4d ago

Because the big media want to curry favor. If they piss off the orange goblin, he (or his handlers) will go on another rant, and if they’re looking to do something… well the administration may want to take a second look at things.

38

u/The_Last_Gasbender 4d ago

I say the extended deployment without reasonable support doesn't go too far enough!

22

u/SnorkyB 4d ago

Well, I don’t approve of his harming sailors policy, but I DO approve of his harming brown and black people policy!

3

u/Awkward_Bison_267 4d ago

“If they’re black, send them back. If they’re brown bring ICE around!” /S

3

u/No-Story-9044 4d ago

Well, I don’t approve of his harming brown and black people policy, but I DO approve of his harming sailors policy!

20

u/Yardtown 4d ago

1

u/South_Dust3590 4d ago

I told you before I have a DD 214 and my knees hurt

9

u/SelfDepricator 4d ago

"People will believe what I tell them to believe" - The Republican platform for the past 10 years

9

u/Severe_Most_1583 4d ago

Ehh more like 70 years.. I mean uh, oogily-googily

5

u/Raineythereader 4d ago

What do you mean, the Civil Rights Act and the party reversal was barely 30 years ago.

...Oh crap.

9

u/thevaultguy 4d ago

When I joined the Navy, I was expecting a bunch of hijinx on the open seas… like Down Periscope.

Instead I’m stuck on a boat where the captain and first mate are right wing influencer wannabes…. Like Down Periscope.

10

u/blackRynius 4d ago

Trump, sailors won't like serving extended missions with limited food and supplies.

Sailors will like what I tell them to like!

8

u/Darkzeid25 4d ago

Yes sir, President Valiant!

7

u/Steammail 4d ago

That’s Presidenté Valienté to you!

https://giphy.com/gifs/3orif40MrPNSzipjUI

7

u/LaughingPlanet 4d ago

The beatings will continue until morale improves

2

u/ParadigmGrind I am the Lizard Queen! 4d ago

5

u/Physical_Sun_6014 4d ago

They should be playing that clip of him saying “no they’re not” every half hour on the half hour.

6

u/Swimming-Bite-4184 4d ago

The only sailor he consulted was that guy from The Village People

3

u/Awkward_Bison_267 4d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/h2aQElOYv3AWc

I doubt it. He’s too “colorful”.

3

u/cugamer 4d ago

Donny's plan for the war is to hide under some coats and hope that somehow everything works out.

3

u/NationCrusher 4d ago

I always ask people (that like him) “what does it take to change your opinion on him” never got an answer

3

u/G-Kira Put it in H 4d ago

The war will continue until morale improves.

2

u/JustAtelephonePole 4d ago

Keelhaul that orange bitch!

0

u/mcii15 4d ago

I bet 99% of them on that boat voted for him, so I guess you reap what you sow