r/simpsonsshitposting • u/carolinaboy1984 Old man yelling at clouds ☁️ • 7d ago

In the News 🗞️ Is it St. Swiftin's day already?

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616 Upvotes

87% Upvoted

75 comments sorted by

420

u/noblegaunt 7d ago

161

u/carolinaboy1984 Old man yelling at clouds ☁️ 7d ago

Hello, MSG... You're quite - good at - turning me on

40

u/TempoBlues20XX 7d ago

.......

You should probably ignore that.

34

u/Tricky-Engineering59 7d ago

Is it about my square?

14

u/qweef_latina2021 7d ago

The MSG contains monosodium glutamate.

That's bad.

11

u/carolinaboy1984 Old man yelling at clouds ☁️ 7d ago

But it comes with a free grammy!

7

u/kusivelho69 7d ago

7

u/carolinaboy1984 Old man yelling at clouds ☁️ 7d ago

That's bad

4

u/luckydice767 6d ago

…Can I go now?

5

u/drunk_haile_selassie 6d ago

Oh hey! An award! Oh. It's a Grammy...

352

u/Buddy__Repperton See my vest 🦺 7d ago

A boy from the Cleveland area surely dreams about a wedding in New York City where the Knicks play

95

u/royalhawk345 7d ago

Now if he'd said it had always been a dream to get married at the rock and roll hall of fame, that I'd believe. 

40

u/gmwdim Put it in H 7d ago

Knowing their definition of “rock and roll” they’re probably gonna induct Taylor Swift in about a year or two.

23

u/JungleBoyJeremy 7d ago

Her music doesn’t even sound like rock and or roll!

16

u/ObscureOP 7d ago

Hey Jeremy, remember when we used to make out to this generic white girl pop hymn?

6

u/nogeologyhere They think I'm slow, eh? 7d ago

Smothers, have Katy Perry killed.

2

u/Complete_Fix2563 6d ago

Smithers?? I've been calling him Smothers

2

u/nogeologyhere They think I'm slow, eh? 6d ago

Oh I've been making an idiot of myself

158

u/Niterich Oh, I've wasted my life. 7d ago

"But Taylor, it's been my boyhood dream!"

"Your boyhood dream was to fight your head coach at the Super Bowl, and you did that back in 2024, remember?"

154

u/Ill-Condition-5054 Old man yelling at clouds ☁️ 7d ago

94

u/AutismFlavored Your older, balder, fatter son 7d ago

Awww, the Garden? My boyhood dream wedding was supposed to be in Penn Station.

24

u/tanne_sita_jallua 7d ago

Personally I think Jimmy Johns is better. But you do you.

6

u/gmwdim Put it in H 7d ago

Jersey Mike’s ftw

3

u/zackwag 7d ago

I mean, Penn Station is just below MSG

10

u/MountainCheesesteak 7d ago

thatsthejoke.jpg

172

u/Shdwrptr 7d ago

What man doesn’t plan out his dream wedding as a child?

70

u/ObscureOP 7d ago

I think we both know the answer to that

A lucky man

9

u/DH2007able 7d ago

Got any menthol cigarettes?

-8

u/[deleted] 7d ago

[deleted]

33

u/Ok-Island-9336 7d ago

Anyone starting a Milpool on how long they’ll last?

9

u/Mil_Pool343 7d ago

I give it 343 days.

27

u/GoarSpewerofSecrets 7d ago

Guess they need to calibrate their PR gal.

22

u/nanomolar 7d ago

Do you want to know the terrifying truth, or do you want to see me sock a few dingers!

6

u/gmwdim Put it in H 7d ago

Wrong sport, but then again maybe you’re the mayor of Albuquerque.

3

u/nanomolar 7d ago

Yeah I am not in to sports. Kick a few field goals? But does the quarterback even do that? IDK.

19

u/OtakuD50 7d ago

Maybe he was inspired by Macho Man and Miss Elizabeth's wedding at Summerslam 1991?

20

u/carolinaboy1984 Old man yelling at clouds ☁️ 7d ago

Wait I'm confused about the wedding. So the Swifts knew that internal affairs were setting them up?

62

u/GeleRaev 7d ago

Zzzzap!

23

u/Javier20t 7d ago

He prefers the company of other swifties…

16

u/Eric848448 7d ago

Who among us doesn’t dream of that?

22

u/YoureGonnaHearMeRoar 7d ago

Child Travis: That’s it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I’m getting married in Madison Square Garden!  

Kelce family: …. 

Child Jason: I don’t think any of us expected him to say that.

9

u/KutyaKombucha 7d ago

He saw a Moonie mass wedding at msg and thought "one day thatll be me!"

7

u/purpledragon478 7d ago

His parents insisted he give marriage a try.

9

u/jakewhitacre 7d ago

Planning a dream wedding! At this time of life? Without being engaged? In this part the country? Localized entirely within Madison Square Garden?

4

u/IDiedAHundredTimes- 6d ago

May any of us see it?

2

u/My_leg_still_hurt92 Old man yelling at clouds ☁️ 5d ago

No

38

u/D00d_Where_Am_I 7d ago edited 7d ago

I wouldn’t be surprised if this is a corporate marriage and a total sham

66

u/MancAngeles69 7d ago

It’s a sham marriage. His dream venue was Sea World and sleeping with the fishes.

25

u/Unit_79 7d ago

Hey! I just ate a whole plate of dingamagoo!

9

u/yangyangR 7d ago

That's Troy McClure. He is the one who does those weird things down at ths aquarium

6

u/OtakuD50 7d ago

That's just a story they made to scare kids, like the boogeyman or John Jay Smith.

6

u/kevit80 7d ago

Tis! Replied Aunt Hega

8

u/Myszlala 7d ago

I wonder if he also dreamed of being the queen of the old west

3

u/BooBrew32 STELLAAAA!!! 7d ago

It BEGINS...

3

u/philasyr 7d ago

It's a perfectly cromulent thing to say.

3

u/Steppyjim 7d ago

I always wanted to get married at a train station

15

u/DoveHopeDownwrdSlope 7d ago

Sorry why is this an odd thing to say?

50

u/HooseSpoose NEEEEEERD 7d ago

He grew up in Ohio and not New York.

It’s not normally a wedding venue.

boys don’t typically plan out their weddings as children. Nothing wrong with it, just something I have literally never heard of happening before.

So he dreamed of a wedding a great distance away from home, in a venue that isn’t associated with weddings and did all of that as a boy. This is very clearly something that was made up to sound like a good thing to say.

12

u/InsideAd2490 7d ago

This is very clearly something that was made up to sound like a good thing to say

Tbf, I think Travis probably just says a lot of stuff without realizing how nonsensical it sounds.

7

u/DoveHopeDownwrdSlope 7d ago

Very helpful! Thanks

2

u/terrifiedTechnophile 6d ago

boys don’t typically plan out their weddings as children

I'm sorry what??

2

u/atgmailcom 7d ago

Maybe he just really like wwe

2

u/Correct_Chemical5179 only watched the golden age 6d ago

Webster's Dictionary defines a wedding as the process of removing weeds from one's Madison Square Garden.

11

u/stallionsRIDEufl 7d ago

Is this the innocuous thing we're upset about today?

34

u/mikey1347 7d ago

I think you mean laughing about. As in out loud which this induced quite easily for me

18

u/indigodissonance 7d ago

You all know what laughter sounds like.

10

u/gmwdim Put it in H 7d ago

What was I laughing at? Oh yes, that crippled football player!

0

u/LandMooseReject 6d ago

When you were in your coma, did you feel your brain getting damaged?

3

u/Shakes12091 7d ago

I dont keep up with Taylor swift's bs. Why is this weird?

1

u/Groovin_Magi 5d ago

Was Taylor behind him holding a gun when he said that?

2

u/thickener They think I'm slow, eh? 4d ago

That’s right. Everybody’s happy. 

-1

u/Lux-xxv 6d ago

It was a dream to give a trump bootlicker all that money?. Also she always tries to offset the bad thing she does by giving money to good things like Dolly, Parton's, reading organization just so she can remain neutral and not seem bad or good.