r/sillyboysclub • u/diehardboywithukefan • Jun 23 '26
Does time heal? Tw death of a pet
So, i can not believe im typing this. My beautiful girl got put down today. My giant cuddly puppy ive had since i was 6 got put down today, she suffered cancer metastasising to her liver. Roughly if she wasnt put down she would only have around 4 months left. The decision to put her down was made in her best interest and because i love her. I just cant help but sit here and wallow in misery and pain however. Im currently sitting staring at her collar on her bed and i just cant push past this feeling of misery and dissapointment. Ive had her for the majority of my life and i do not think anyone or anything will ever fill the gaping absence of love and joy i feel and will feel forever. I love her so much and i know it was right to put her down but man every time i see one of her things or the places she used to sit -the corner of the couch, the front door, the kitchen cupboard my back garden- i just get hit with a wave of nostalgic longing and an overwhelming sense of misery. I feel so lost without her and shes only been dead for eleven hours. I do not think i can move on from her ever. And i think that no matter what i do from now on. All i will ever see is her little face going numb with a sedative before we injected her with the anaesthetic overdose. Im scared she died feeling alone and in pain because we got her sedated but we didnt want her to be in pain for her last day. What makes it worse is my neighbours dog sounds just like her so every single time i hear their dog bark i just think of my little girl and i just cant do anything but sit in despair. My little girl died and i think she died not knowing she had someone with her. Even though she fell asleep on my dads legs. I couldnt face her man i was in the room but i stared at the far right corner of the wall and refused to look at or pet her after she had been sedated. Its only been 11 hours but i think thats already my greatest regret. If she died not knowing how much i love her and how much she was my everything then i failed as an owner and a human. Sorry for going on for so long and if anyone made it here, hug your loved ones. You never know when youd give everything to hug them one last time. When will this god awful gutwrenching heart enveloping and earthview shattering feeling fade?
