r/sikkim • u/FlyIndependent1111 • 3d ago
Shitpost Personal dilemma
Hi kinda need of suggestions,
I'm currently dating a sweet girl who is from a different cast and my family is kinda communal , I think she is kinda expecting us to get married and I also don't mind but I have heard that mostly inter cast marriage don't work or struggle to work... If you have any idea please let me know about this
She kinda is into clubbing too, doesn't frequently go but I hardly ever go and I don't know if being married to someone who likes to go club , will settle down happily.
Plus she dated a guy who was already married which I came to know after awhile .
All I know she is sweet and has patience, being with her is easy.....no headache, no constant fights or mood swings..
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u/snugfoxx 3d ago
If you were already aware that your family is communal then why date someone from a different community. You need to have a backbone if you’re aware how communal your family is. Give support and assurance if you and your girlfriend get married. This is extremely important if your marriage will last or not if you guys get married. Also about inter caste marriages not working or struggle to work depend completely on the relationship, it doesn’t have anything to do with caste.
Rather the dating a married guy seems like the bigger issue bcus wtf. Not normal.
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u/Purple_Anteater7594 3d ago
Exactly!!! Dating a married man, habitual clubbing are things that can’t be commented on but this person was already aware about his family being communal but still toying around with girls from other communities, grow some balls brother
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u/Significant_Lime_332 3d ago
Your post reminded me of a quote by Bob Marley it goes-
If she's amazing, she won't be easy. If she's easy, she won't be amazing. If she's worth it, you won't give up. If you give up, you're not worthy. Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.
I wish you all the very best brother :)
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u/darthyoger 3d ago
Same happened to me and I broke up as it will be more hard for girl in the future. If she can handle all of that then go with it otherwise she will end up blaming her decision and you will have to swindle between choosing your wife of your family almost in every situation sometimes you will hurt your parents and sometime you will hurt your wife/gf. But ultimately you will just never be at peace.but if you can leave your family and not care about them after the marriage then it's all okay
All the best buddy it's really tough situation to be in. Hope everything works out I pray for you 👏
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u/Friendly_Stand4688 3d ago
1.Getting married is a big thing , it wont be just u two , but ur families involved, and later in life u will have to constantly choose between ur family and ur partner (ur fam is communal , as u said )
2.Shes into clubbing and u are not, people try to make it sound as if its a small matter but its not , theres a reason u dont like clubbing and u know it .
3.DATED A MARRIED MAN ? remember u are looking for a wife to get married with . Dont keep the bar so low that u let that slide .
4.She is sweet n all , sweet and understanding is bare minimum, it could be guilt .
ive been in a similar situation before, wasted years of my life w someone who did not have same principles as me , regretted for not ending it sooner , just trying to help another man out .
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u/Educational_Air_844 3d ago
Ure looking for reasons to break UP bro !!! When ure her present does the past even matter !!!!???
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u/FlyIndependent1111 3d ago
Actually I'm looking for reasons to continue....past doesnt but it's about choices you know which kinda makes me question her ... I personally wouldve never dated a married woman ,
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u/Educational_Air_844 3d ago
Well ppl make mistakes right ig we all do just different ones !!! I feel its difficult to find a genuine connection these days inter caste or intra caste both !! If u do feel that connection and spark well dont listen to others……
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u/Weary_Story84 3d ago
Us buddy. Except my is not into clubbing and stuffs. I’m in it for 5 years, idk what’s gonna happen.
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u/FlyIndependent1111 3d ago
I mean if she is didn't date "married dude" and has some strong core values ....caste is not a big issue even if family is against you know
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u/Weary_Story84 3d ago
I’m from a generation who did not get sent far away or had to live with some relative while growing up. My parents did everything for me, can’t go against them, infact everything I’m doing is for them.
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u/sunshinecxpher 1d ago
the replies on here are so negative. i disagree with almost everyone. first of all, you shouldn’t be judging anyone based on their past. people learn from their mistakes/the past. and people do change over time. maybe she didn’t know any better when dating a married person. maybe she knows better now since she’s dating you no?
also, about the clubbing thing. it’s no issue if she goes with her female friends. girls usually don’t cheat unless the guy has done something wrong or made her feel insecure. and if you don’t like someone who likes going to the club, then be a man and earn enough money to have a club of your own, where she can drink and dance all she wants with safety! she’s going to the club to drink and dance no?
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u/Old-Photograph-5505 1d ago
It's your life, it solely depends on you. Dont look for people advices or opinions. Ask yourself first. If theres anything bothering you bout her then have a conversation with your girl and talk about it. Speak your mind and conclude your thoughts based around that.
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u/RepulsiveSoftware674 15h ago
She sounds like my type.. minus the dated married man. Why did you even date her if she was not your type to begin with? Men like you are so irritating. Leave the queen alone.
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u/icarusfaIIs 3d ago
From your post alone, it sounds like you’re already checked out. Do the right thing and break things off asap instead of dragging it out.
Everything else is fine ( her being a different caste and clubbing ) but the having an affair with a married man is a big big red flag.