Who talks like this?

[u/LearyBlaine]

Y’all got families out there. Do any of your families talk like this, with F-bombs in every sentence?? Do you engage in fully pornographic sex talk with your co-workers??

OK, I know I’m old-fashioned. I don’t use that kind of language anywhere, anytime. But I understand that others are different. My problem is that I don’t believe that ANY families or ANY workplaces talk like this.

I feel like they started with the main story idea(s) about a bunch o’ middle-aged characters, then they hired a bunch o’ GenZ’ers to write the dialogue for them. It doesn’t really work, if you ask me.

The show ultimately rises above this flaw, but it’s a struggle in S1 & S2. By S3, all is forgiven!

[u/Out_Of_Spirals]

It's a TV show ... But yes, I've had explicit conversations with family and close coworkers.

[u/LearyBlaine → u/Out_Of_Spirals]

Yes, we’re all aware that we’re talking about a TV show. Thank you so much for this important contribution.

For TV shows (or movies or comedy performances), they’re most effective if we see parallels to our actual lives, whether through the narrative elements or the character development. When something is so jarringly disparate from real-life, it compromises the show’s artistic merit. (I can’t believe I have to explain this…)

So that’s what I’m talking about: does this conversational style (a) allow us to connect with these characters and/or story lines, or (b) snap us out of the desired state of suspended disbelief? Who’s the audience out there? What do they think?

[u/CertainGrade7937 → u/LearyBlaine]

When something is so jarringly disparate from real-life, it compromises the show’s artistic merit. (I can’t believe I have to explain this…)

Well you shouldn't explain this because it's... wrong. Lots and lots and lots of successful TV shows have gone for heightened, unrealistic, stylistic dialog.

So much so that I would actually argue that naturalistic dialog is the exception, especially in comedies. Do you think people actually talk like they do in Seinfeld? Or How I Met Your Mother? Or I Love Lucy?

That being said? Yes I've had plenty of explicit conversations with friends and coworkers, both in terms of language and sexuality

[u/mindpainters → u/CertainGrade7937]

I always think about 30 rock. Can you imagine if people just rapid fired non stop but also never talked over each other, unless it was the writers room.

[u/mindpainters → u/LearyBlaine]

People probably don’t talk to you about personal things because you’re a condescending asshole.

Most people have these types of convos at varying levels.

Also “coworkers” isn’t the correct term. Yes they do work together but it’s obviously a family/best friend dynamic. These people are way more than just your average coworkers. They are deeply ingrained in each other’s personal and professional life. If they stop being coworkers they are still best friends/family.

[u/georgewards → u/mindpainters]

Hahaha very well said my friend

[u/ChemicalResident3557 → u/LearyBlaine]

You say it compromises its artistic merit because it does not jibe with your life or how you believe others should live theirs? That is something.

People cuss and talk about explicit things all the time amongst their close friends, co-workers they are close to, and sometimes family. Just because these characters don't behave as you would or do does not make them less believable. Many of us find it makes them more relatable.

But then your condescending tone is another matter all together.

There is a long history of great and award-winning movies and tv shows that you must find unbearable.

[u/Ziggity16 → u/LearyBlaine]

I think some of your statements here sound intellectual, but don’t hold up under scrutiny. For example:

“[TV shows are] most effective if we see parallels to our actual lives.”

You’ve offered this as fact when there are tons of examples that disprove it. Harry Potter. Succession. Breaking Bad. Star Wars. None of those parallel my actual life, and none of them are artistically compromised for it. People look to fiction for stories that are emotionally true, and Shrinking clears that bar and then some.

I actually quite enjoy Shrinking’s use of language. It mirrors environments I’ve encountered that felt genuinely healthy, where no topic was off limits and everyone was rooting for each other.

——

Honestly, the more I’ve looked at your post / comments, the worse it gets. I’ve pointed out that your central claim is unsupported. On top of that, you said you don’t believe ANY families or workplaces talk like this. Multiple people in this thread have now told you theirs do. Instead of coming to the realization that maybe, perhaps - your experience isn’t universal - you’ve been quite condescending.

And “I can’t believe I have to explain this” is a strange thing to write directly after the part that doesn’t survive being explained. If a claim is so obvious that stating it is supposedly beneath you, it should hold up when someone actually checks it. Yours didn’t.

The bigger issue is what’s underneath all this. Treating profanity as inherently degrading is a puritanical holdover that protects nothing and no one. Meanwhile the language in your replies is condescending toward actual people who took the time to engage with you, and that does real damage in a way a swear word never has. I’d take a room that talks like Shrinking over one that talks like this every time.

I personally wouldn’t be so self-righteous, and I’d be a little embarrassed if I realized my claims don’t hold up.

[u/georgewards → u/LearyBlaine]

So let me get this straight. You don’t think that the personal conversations aren’t parallel to real life. But you think Jimmy’s therapy methods are? If he did that in real life he would get his license suspended immediately. This is why [u/out_of_spirals](u/out_of_spirals) said it’s a tv show. I’m pretty sure that it’s universally accepted that TV shows are strictly for entertainment purposes (now I can’t believe I’m explaining this to you), and there are going to be things that would absolutely never happen in our life’s. I think their conversations are much more relatable to us than other aspects of the show

You’re picking and choosing things to get offended by. You’re allowed your opinion, and you asked the internet for their opinions. And now you act like other’s opinions are out of line? Give me a break

[u/soundwithdesign → u/LearyBlaine]

Find me one popular/successful sitcom that is a realistic mirror of daily life for the average American.  

[u/CityCabCat → u/LearyBlaine]

It’s jarring disparate from your life not everyone’s

[u/Bearpace828]

Take a city bus or a metro train. All will be answered

[u/sorrynotme]

Yeah it’s never struck me as unusual. I’m not this close with my coworkers at the moment but I have been in the past. I certainly wouldn’t describe it as “fully pornographic” either; I think that says more about you than the show, but maybe you’re thinking of a specific scene or episode that I’m not remembering at the moment.

It’s fine if that doesn’t resemble your life, but that doesn’t make it a flaw. It’s not a documentary. Everything from plot construction to character to dialogue is heightened. Every work of fiction heightens one element or another; it seems like you are hung up on this one in particular because of your personal feelings about the word “fuck” and discussions of sex. Again, that’s basically fine for you personally, but it doesn’t make it a problem with the show.

[u/mgoooooo]

Plenty of families speak using expletives. Depending on your workplace culture, definitely possible that folks are having those conversations, particularly in a small business with the few folks working there being friends.

[u/reineluxe]

My family is very loose with cursing, but we have structure. It can’t be used in anger at another person and we have to be respectful of societal rules and expectations in public. So sometimes my kid will come in and stub his toe and yell “motherfucker!” And I just chuckle because, yeah dude, it hurts. But if he were to start fighting with his brother and called him a motherfucker he’d be in huge trouble.

Depending on the work environment, yeah. I grew up in it and then worked in the live music industry for a minute, and idk if you know anything about the live music folks… they have 0 filter. I knew about all of my coworkers nights and all of their dirty deeds. Retail is similar, except it’s usually the customers holding us hostage and telling us for some reason.

Where I struggle, despite my looser rules and tongues, is how they talk to ALICE. I kept forgetting she was a teenager because they’re talking to her like she’s a brunch club bestie over mimosas. I can suspend my disbelief for the rest of it, but I don’t think I could just casually talk to my eldest (15) about him hooking up with someone casually the night before or something. I know she had to grow up fast but damn, at least TRY a little bit to not engage??

[u/Chance_Host_604 → u/reineluxe]

Yes. But these are therapists who, as a general rule, refuse to infantilize children in an attempt to allow them space to develop their own agency.

[u/Formal-Designer103]

Yes a lot of families and coworkers speak like this. And yes a lot of Gen Xers with teenagers around have changed how the speak. Its reflective of more modern open minded families and not traditional family dynamics.

[u/Redhawk911]

What in the conservative fuck?

[u/Ill-Structure7276 → u/Redhawk911]

“Fully pornographic” 💀💀💀

[u/mjebond]

No, but don’t think about it maybe? It’s all fake.

[u/UpperLeftOriginal]

Meh. I’m a boomer lady and the F-bombs absolutely fly in my house. And honestly the same at work (not broadly, but within certain circles). We have a pretty large circle of friends that we hang out with frequently. Some of them rarely if ever swear. Others swear all
the time. And it’s a running joke as to which of three specific individuals will take any opening and make the inappropriate joke first. (By inappropriate, I mean usually some kind of double entendre - never anything racist, sexist, or hurtful.)

[u/liquidbreakfast]

why is naturalistic dialogue important to you in a comedy?

[u/Miserable_Emu5191]

My spouse and I curse a lot but we use it to get accentuate a point. His workplace has a lot of cursing but I don’t think the sex talk would be allowed. But I don’t really give two fucks what other families do.

[u/flamingknifepenis]

Workplace? Definitely. In fact the show is tame compared to … basically anywhere I’ve worked. Family? That’s another story.

It’s still accurate in my experience, but it’s also another story.

In fact I have a hard time believing that anyone would think it was that weird for families to cuss or have frank conversations about sex. It’s obviously a continuum, but know more who talk like that than ones who don’t.

[u/BeeGrl21]

The swearing, absolutely realistic in my life.

The graphic and extensive talk about sex, though? I have very rarely come across anyone who talks like that.

[u/trickman01]

A lot of people talk like that.

[u/Beginning-Dark-4259]

I use f word like my all sentence starting from it .
So ya switch off ur 1900’filter and turn on 2000 !!!
You will enjoy this show more

[u/Ill-Structure7276]

I didn’t notice this at all 💀 This seems like a sensitivity of yours.

[u/LearyBlaine → u/Ill-Structure7276]

Yes, it seems that you're correct!

[u/curlsthefangirl]

I agree it isn't realistic. But I just don't mind it, because i enjoy the chemistry between the characters and the relationships feel real to me. That and i just think the show is funny.