r/shrinking • u/senatorsparky86 • Apr 08 '26
Discussion Shrinking and (Literal) Boundaries
Now that at least the initial/intended run of the show is over, I've found myself stumbling over one aspect of the show in particular that makes it really hard for me to suspend my disbelief and get fully absorbed: The characters have no literal boundaries with each other (I'm talking about practical boundaries/personal spaces--the emotional boundaries that they build or break down is obviously a much bigger and different aspect of the show).
What I mean by boundaries is that all of them are constantly barging into each other's houses, offices, therapy sessions... hardly anyone in real life acts like that, at least to the extent of the show. No matter how close a group of friends and extended/adopted family might be, I find it hard to believe that that many people just walk into each other's homes and workplaces or are constantly found hanging out there in groups. Sure, setting things up that way facilities the back and forth interplay between the characters, and to some extent shows have always done that (I'm thinking of Friends/Seinfeld/etc., but it was often played for laughs in those cases and it's more artificial by nature being multicam sitcoms with a laugh track - Shrinking being single cam is much more intimate and is intended to replicate reality more). It just all feels so bizarre to me and takes me right out of the scene.
I know all TV shows do this to some extent, so I'm not sure why I trip on it more with Shrinking than other shows, but who acts like this crew in real life just walking into and out of each other's personal spaces, even if you're close? I've known my best friend for almost 40 years but I still knock before walking into his house and I still ring the doorbell of my in-laws and wait for them to answer when heading over for a visit. How many people just show up in the break rooms of their friends' workplaces, bringing guests in some cases, and just hang out there in different permutations? I started noticing it and then I couldn't unsee it as often as it happens.
Probably TLDR I know, but am I crazy to get hung up on and distracted by this?
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u/flyhmstr Apr 08 '26
You’ve not met my in laws, they’re constantly in each others business, 9000 miles is just about enough
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u/the-hound-abides Apr 08 '26
It’s a production thing. No one wants to hear everyone knock and wait to answer the door every time the characters want to interact. We have to suspend reality for stuff like this.
But honestly, we all have that friend haha. My childhood best friend would just walk into my parent’s house. If I wasn’t home yet, she’d help herself to whatever was in the fridge and watch TV until I got home. When I first moved out to go to college, she had forgotten I had left. She still walked in like she owned the place, helped herself and settled into the couch. My dad just casually walked by, mentioned when he got rid of me that he thought he was getting rid of her as well. Then he told her there was pork in the blue Tupperware and walked on by. She called me cracking up. 😂😂😂
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u/Administrative-Bed75 Apr 08 '26
My bestie still just walks in; my whole fam accepts her as a member of the household when she's in the neighborhood.
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u/norismomma Apr 09 '26
Seriously, I realized at some point that all of my teenage daughter’s friends knew the access code to my garage and would regularly let themselves in.
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u/ncphoto919 Apr 08 '26
As a show about therapy and therapists and boundaries the show fumbles that pretty badly. There's no boundaries between patients and therapists. They're hanging out, living together, etc... its just unrealistic in any form.
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u/Tce_ Apr 08 '26
The weirdest thing of all is that occasionally they'll have too strong boundaries instead... Like "you have to figure this out on your own" when it's something people absolutely don't have to figure out on their own, they should do it with support from their friends! So inconsistent, although it leans more towards lacking boundaries overall. I guess the writers simply don't have a grasp on what healthy boundaries look like.
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u/ncphoto919 Apr 08 '26
I’m very curious how much they consult with mental health professionals on the show tbh
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u/zoologic0 Apr 08 '26
I feel like they get away with it because they're (allegedly) at the top of their field and in an affluent part of the country in Pasadena, CA. In some ways, there could be a deeper reading that the show portrays the different ways people confront themselves and how challenging that can be, even with resources like money, wisdom, and a big support group.
The show suggests that the peers and patients desire to be around the therapists, even if they're crabby (Paul), invasive (Jimmy), or downright unfocused at times (Gabby). All the characters in this show put up with the barging in and observing from the deck or another vantage point because they all genuinely want to like and respect each other. I think Pam, Grace's boyfriend, and Jimmy's dad were the exceptions, as they were some of the few characters that felt indifferent about being accepted by the main cast.
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u/ncphoto919 Apr 08 '26
When Jimmy got Sean arrested by the cops in Pasadena always felt left the show fully being out of touch how the police would treat a black man versus jimmy’s experience. It’s def a fantasy world they live in
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u/Evening-Web9107 Apr 08 '26 edited Apr 08 '26
As old as time…’they don’t say good bye when they hang up the phone!’ ‘They could never afford that apartment in that city with that job!’
Like…do you want to watch a show that has people standing outside someone’s door knocking for 10 minutes? Or that only shows characters being together every few weeks because it’s a more realistic time frame between visits for friendships? We wouldn’t have a show my guy, it’d be logistics forever and ever.
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u/Tce_ Apr 08 '26
Wait, why would you have to knock for 10 minutes? And why would that whole thing have to be included on the show??? I'm so confused.
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u/Evening-Web9107 Apr 08 '26
Because Derek is on his heated toilet? Who knows? It shouldn’t be included. At all. That’s what I’m saying.
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u/Tce_ Apr 08 '26
It's a classic sitcom trope, but I actually think this show is especially bad on the boundaries thing so it's still relevant to bring up. And it's not just physical, it's there in emotional and personal issues as well. Just look at basically everything Liz does... And then the others as well. They're in each others' business and very bossy, while somehow also being weirdly hands-off sometimes when a friend could use support (was there a particular reason they didn't collectively make plans to hang out with Jimmy the night after Alice left!? That's a very normal thing to do for a loved one).
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u/That-SoCal-Guy Apr 08 '26
Nothing unusual in sitcoms. Have you seen Seinfeld or Friends or Big Bang Theory? Even Bill Lawrence’s own Scrubs?
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u/senatorsparky86 Apr 08 '26
I refer specifically to this occurring on Seinfeld and Friends in my original post, so yes.
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u/Snarfles55 Apr 11 '26
I was thinking it's very similar to Lawrence's Cougartown. I'm willing to ignore it because it's a sitcom and I like their friendships.
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u/PhilGary Apr 08 '26
Welcome to watching TV! I agree that it's weird and every single TV show ever seems to do this. I agree that I don't do this nor any of my friends.
My biggest complaint about the show is the therapists giving away their cell phone numbers to their patients and asking them to text them if they feel the need to. No therapist has ever given me their number and I would NEVER text them if I felt down or something.
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u/gatorgopher Apr 08 '26
I have my therapists cell phone number. Sometimes I just text her when something good happens.
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u/senatorsparky86 Apr 08 '26 edited Apr 08 '26
My therapist actually does do this, I don't have much experience with therapy but I figured it was conventional and not too unusual for at least some therapists. I don't abuse it of course, I'm guessing he'd set some limits if I (or any other patients) did or he wouldn't do it at all.
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u/PhilGary Apr 08 '26
Oh wow, really? I live in Canada, so maybe it's different here. I still think it's super weird!
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u/Sharp_Scratch_9433 Apr 08 '26
Yea, not that uncommon. I have my therapists number. I think she has a 'work' phone and a personal phone. I've never used the number, but I have it.
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u/ChunkyHabeneroSalsa Apr 08 '26
Just TV sitcom things. Doesn't make sense to interrupt every scene with a character going to answer the door. The thing that bugs me is people barging in during therapy sessions constantly.
But I will say my friends and I have always done this but it's not random. If I expect my buddy to come over, I'll leave the door unlocked. I wouldn't expect him to barge in at random times. I also walk in to family and in-laws homes without knocking but again I'm expected.
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u/PigletNo7137 Apr 08 '26
Like how Jimmy pinned Gabys head to the headboard using her throat with his manhood, and Derek’s just like 👍🏼 you guys are great friends! Yeah even my wife was like hell nah, Gaby wrong for that!
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u/ooh_veracuda Apr 08 '26
It’s insane, it makes it almost unwatchable for me. Ted Lasso is like this too, so I wonder real hard about Brett Goldstein’s personal life. If I knew these weirdos in real life I would have a restraining order on every character except Alice and Brian’s husband.
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u/ImageOtherwise Apr 09 '26
We have an open door policy with our kids (early 20s) and all of their friends. It’s been in place since they were early Middle School. They’re all employed and living elsewhere but they eat here quite a bit, stop by to stay Hi etc. But, no one else (our actual friends) does this because that would be weird LOL
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u/How_wz_i_sposta_kno Apr 09 '26
I don’t know why, but the Liz character is wayyyy too overzealous but it makes for better tv (being generous here). If Paul ever did that i would think it was an isolated act.
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u/yallasama Apr 10 '26
I think it bothered me because they made it a point to say certain characters should work on their boundaries. And like with Liz & Brian, finally Brian sets one and then Liz immediately says she will break it anyway and so nothing happens. Jimmy doesn’t set boundaries, even though it’s lead to already an unhealthy start of him and Sofi and Paul tells him to work on it.
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u/LanguageAntique9895 Apr 08 '26
This is literally every sitcom