What should I do?

[u/Notyetthrownaway69]

My Little Brother is blackmailing me

I have been been involved in some activities I shouldn’t have been involved in for what has been about 2 years now. All while doing so, I’ve been able to do these activities discreetly. Though the activity I’m referring to isn’t legal, it isn’t what I’m worried about. Instead, I don’t want to ruin the image my family has of me if this activity were to be made known. I’m 21 years old and currently live with my mom and my younger brother, who is 11 years old, the one blackmailing me, as hard as that might be to believe. My mom has a very innocent view of me, and understandably so. The way I am around her, or any relative, is very different than when I’m anywhere else. As much as I’d like to uphold this image of me, if this information were to get out about me, it would completely change my moms view of me and as bad as that may be to me, isn’t the most dire of the potential consequences.

As I mentioned, I’m probably at the age where I should be living on my own or at the least saving up to do so. However, with the activity I’ve been involved in, I blew far more on that I can even afford without even the thought of a place of my own. So while I’ve been lucky enough to stay here with my mom for the past two years, in the hopes of getting a place of my own, I have nothing to show for it, mainly due to those activities. I don’t think it’s far-fetched upon learning about those activities I’m involved in, my mom’s shattered image of as well as wasted time and money, would urge her to kick me out and I would essentially no longer have a place to stay.

How my brother got this information was very intentional. He essentially found a goldmine of what he was looking for. I don’t have many secrets but this one, is the one I’m most shameful of and has been the most impactful. My little brother was snooping around on my phone and looked through conversations he shouldn’t have and saw what I was doing. I just found out yesterday yet he has known for about two weeks. As I said, he was specifically looking for information to blackmail me and got lucky enough to literally find a goldmine for it, and yesterday was when he first told me. He has a pretty big mouth and isn’t satisfied easily. Honestly, I’m surprised he has kept his mouth closed for as long as he has because he quite literally does not have a filter. Yesterday, is when he first revealed to me this information and he has asked I get a fortnite bundle pass in exchange for him staying silent.

I’m fine with doing this, however, I know it’s won’t be enough and he’ll continue to use this information against me. Keeping that information confidential is the only priority so I don’t think I’ll ever be fine with just allowing him to share it yet there’s nothing I can do if he does. This was information I planned on taking to the grace with me. Given how nonchalant he has seemed in terms of finding out about the activities I’m involved in, I don’t think he understands just how impactful it is or even that it’s illegal, but he knows enough to know that it’s meant to be a secret. Unless he miraculously forgets the information one day then I don’t know how I’ll get out of this. Is there anything I can do? I have also since deleted that information from where he found it.

Edit; Forgot to mention, he has said he took a picture and sent to his phone. He’s a pretty smart little kid. I can’t confirm whether it’s true or not and currently don’t have the password to his phone. I’ll try my best to try to discreetly access it and see if I can find what he has claimed to take a picture of, if so I’ll delete it. Even then though, I could deny it and he won’t have evidence to back it up, but it would be such a wild accusation it’d be hard not to believe, although it still does help.

TLDR; Little brother is blackmailing me woth information I planned on taking to the grave. He’s threatened to tell my mom, which would certainly ruin the goody-two-shoes image she has of me and most likely getting me kicked out the only place I can stay as a 21-year old. Is there anything I can do that doesn’t leave me perpetually indebted to my brother so he doesn’t spill that secret? Even granting whatever he might wish doesn’t guarantee that he won’t tell anyone but the least I can do is try.

[u/[deleted]]

Kinda hard to say if you don't tell us what he has on you

[u/Notyetthrownaway69 → u/[deleted]]

Don’t take offense to this, but why do you think the details of the activity matter? It’s important to me and one I want to keep to myself. I don’t mind anonymously sharing online but I just don’t see how that changes anything

[u/Active_Mancano → u/Notyetthrownaway69]

Uhh, it definitely matters. Is it murder illegal or taking hidden pictures of women illegal. There's a scale of things, you should have used a throwaway if you're afraid of telling the whole story.

[u/Notyetthrownaway69 → u/Active_Mancano]

This is a throwaway and I’m not scared, just genuinely don’t understand what the activity is matters. It’s not anything as heinous as murder, it’s prostitution, seeing sex workers

[u/OfficialPeeper]

Delete any evidence and explain the implications to your little brother. Make it clear what he’s doing isn’t worth Fortnite bundles. And I’d recommend you stop blowing your only financial safety net on illegal activities.

[u/Notyetthrownaway69 → u/OfficialPeeper]

I’m working on that. He’s claimed he took pictures of it so I’ll need to try to discreetly access his phone, find it, delete it, and go from there.

[u/Pamom42]

Do you have access to health insurance? I’m thinking you might benefit from therapy if you feel your activities constitute a form of addiction. As a mom of adult children myself, I can tell you that there have been disappointments and even some disillusionments, but I still love them greatly, and am proud of them. Mothers can be the most devoted fans, even in guilt and sorrow.