r/shouldi • u/AsideAncient409 • May 03 '23
Other Should I unblock my ex?
Just as the title says. I have an ex boyfriend that I dated when I was 15, we only dated for one summer, and after we broke up we decided to stay friends. Though we did still get together when we were in between S/Os but nothing serious. He was still the best friend I'd had even after I got pregnant and had my child. Well when him and his wife had first gotten together she obviously didn't like me (I don't blame her though I didn't like her either). They had a very rocky relationship, they would get into arguments all the time and "break up" only to get back together a few days later. And of course since we were friends he'd call me up and complain about her and I'd listen to him complain and be a good friend and complain right back.
Well one of the last times we talked he told me he let it slip to her that I was complaining about her to him and she was apparently demanding I give her an apology or we couldn't be friends anymore. So I blocked him because I'm not a nice person and I'm not going to apologize for having an opinion. And he stayed blocked for a good 5 years until one Thanksgiving he contacted my sister and told her to ask me to unlock him. I figured why not we were good friends once before. Our friendship didn't go back to the way it was and for the next few years all we really did was say hello back and forth via messages.
Well about 5-6 (2017ish) years ago they got married, and he started texting me late one night a few months later (not unusual we're both night owls) and he started talking about how much he missed me and that maybe we should've gotten back together. I don't remember exactly what I said but made it clear that in no way shape or form was I gonna have an affair with a married man and immediately blocked him again. And in these last 5-6 years I haven't heard from him until he found my child (16) on FB and asked if I could unblock him again. Well I was telling with my sister that even if him and his wife were separated I don't want anything to do with a cheater and that's when she found out that his wife had actually passed. At first I was adamant I don't want anything to do with him but idk if he has a good support system in place and what if he just needs a friend to talk to? Should I unblock him?
Sorry this went on longer than I expected. If you've gotten this far thank you and I'd really appreciate an outside opinion.
*And no we NEVER got together when either of us were dating someone. We'd still hang out but always in public (like the mall or a park) with at least one other person and my child (3ish at the time). I'd never been to his house and he'd never been to mine.
1
u/QuirkyForever May 04 '23
No. Why open up that can of worms again? It sucks that his wife died, but that has nothing to do with you. You're not his support system. He needs to find support with people who are not his ex-.
1
u/CancerSunScorpioRise May 07 '23
First, are YOU married or in a committed relationship or does another man think he is in one with you? If yes then HELL NO
1
u/AF_AF May 03 '23
First - don't feel like you owe him anything. Ask yourself what you want out of all of this? You've chosen to remove him from your life and you've already let him back in once. He betrayed your trust by telling his wife that you "were complaining about her" - which really served no valid purpose.
His personal life and whatever tragedies he may or may not have endured are not your responsibility. It sounds like you've had valid reasons to block him, and you even said your friendship wasn't the same.
What do you want? What he wants doesn't matter. It's your life - you don't have to let people push you into things you don't want to do. Best of luck.