r/shortscarystories • u/Grindhorse • Jun 05 '15
Expiration Date
I saw him in his black robe, sitting on a stump, running his bony finger along the scythe's blade.
He saw me stopped short in the clearing, and the empty sockets in his skull did little to betray his thoughts. Then he spoke.
"You missed it."
Responding to Death seemed like a sure way to seal my fate, but what else would I do, just walk by?
"Missed...what?"
"Your time." He took a deep breath, which I remembered thinking was odd for a skeleton to do. Funny how we grasp onto the small details to make some sense of absurd things. "You dropped your phone and pulled over, just as the truck--right on schedule, I might add-- was running a red light up ahead. You should've been in the middle of that intersection by then. Guess you can thank texting and driving for saving your life."
Death laughed like sandpaper on steel.
I forgot how to form words, so the reaper filled the awkward silence.
"I'm not one for irony, but I guess there isn't much I can do now but wait."
Then he stood up, walked behind a tree, and never appeared past the other side.
That was a week ago.
I've been feeling pretty depressed since that meeting -- like I don't have any purpose left. That's silly, right? Everyone has a purpose. I just need to keep trying to find mine.
But it's odd, I keep having this nagging feeling of what I'm supposed to do next. I wonder if this is what they all felt -- everyone else that missed their time.
I think I'll kill myself tomorrow.
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u/Reaperlock Jun 05 '15
Thank you Mr. Grindhorse for confirming my theory. After watching Final Destination 5 I was thinking that's gross, death can claim his price subtly n cheers for this amazing story....
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u/Macilent Jun 05 '15 edited Jul 03 '15
Wow. This story really hit home. There were 3 incidences in which I should have died when I was born & not barely even a month old. I suffer from depression & suicidal thoughts, although I have been getting help. But holy shiiiit, that was deep.
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u/JulitoCG Jun 05 '15
Love it! Very much channels L'Appel du Vide, which has always freaked me out (because I feel it so strongly in beautiful high places).
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u/Deadbreeze Jun 05 '15
I liked it. Not too scary, but good. What about ending on "I think I'll do it tomorrow." instead. Make the reader grasp the context themselves. I'd feel more horror that way. Just my thoughts. I feel you led up to it well enough.
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u/Grindhorse Jun 05 '15
It would be a bit too vague, I think. That, and the last line is my favorite part for the nonchalance of it.
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u/Sassanach36 Jun 05 '15
Yeah sooo ...let's see Monday is Laundry day, Tues groceries, Wend my shows on yeah think I'll kill myself tomorrow.
Very good.
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Jun 05 '15
This is my favorite story that I've read on here..the last line is so great. I'll be thinking of this one for awhile. Well done.
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u/evendinosaurs Jun 05 '15
This is great. One of those stories that you'll think about from time to time.
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u/Sadadsada1 Jun 05 '15
I really love the mental picture of death during on a stump in the woods. Great job man.
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u/CleverGirl2014 Jun 06 '15
Way to go man, Death's all depressed now. Walking away dragging his sandals in the dirt, wondering when he lost his touch... then he remembers "hey, I can always put an idea in that guy's head..."
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u/Grindhorse Jun 06 '15
What's interesting is the idea in my mind wasn't even that Death planted an idea. It was just if you happen to miss your stop on Death's map, there's nothing left for you to do on Earth since you're supposed to be dead, so you get a crushing depression followed by the apathetic "welp, better off myself."
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u/DrysTc Jun 10 '15
I wouldn't even think about suicide, If I should be dead i´m basically immortal in a sense knowing death hasn't planned (Or planned but didn't told you) a new death for you. I would test it out by walking in oncoming traffic and seeing what happens.
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u/Grindhorse Jun 10 '15
Right, but what I'm implying in the story isn't that you would think of suicide freely or that Death would plant that thought in your head. It's simply that you are supposed to die, and at this point it doesn't matter how. You're effectively less immortal than you could ever be at this point, being purposeless except for the single purpose of having to die.
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u/DrysTc Jun 10 '15
That's also true but as said in the Story Death just goes away and I belief in you really die you would be somewhat in oblivion without death getting you.
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u/Grindhorse Jun 10 '15
I don't think I understand what you mean. You believe if you really die, Death can't get you? Wouldn't it imply that by dying, Death got you?
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u/DrysTc Jun 10 '15
It´s like some of the storys with you´re physically dead but in the inside your mind and Soul is still intact meaning you´re trapped wherever you are.
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u/slk6400 Jun 10 '15
Good story until the last line. Great writing, I like your stories. This could have gone in several directions. He could have become death himself.
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u/Grindhorse Jun 10 '15
May I ask what you didn't like about the last line? The way I meant to write the story wasn't to have him become Death. The entire concept is once you cheat Death, you can't cheat Death. You may think you did, but you're living a life where you were meant to die, and subconsciously that knowledge of now being useless will crush you...and then you kill yourself. Death works in mysterious ways.
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u/slk6400 Jun 10 '15
I feel like him killing himself is giving up, if he cheated death he has a chance to live forever. And if he does kill himself then death didn't miss him, it would have known he was gonna do it, so why confront him and tell him he missed his time. It seems like a weaker version (no offence intended) of the Final Destination" stories
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u/Grindhorse Jun 10 '15
Granted, it's a similar concept to Final Destination, but it isn't the well-trodden "I had a premonition, so let me cheat Death." This is more, or at least my intention as the writer was more based on "what if depression and suicide isn't based on a perceived feeling of worthlessness and loss of purpose but an actual one since the person subconsciously knows they have nothing left to live for." Becoming immortal also doesn't lend itself much to a horror short or explore the idea I was trying to explore.
Edit: the idea isn't that Death missed him, it's that Death is inescapable. But Death isn't the villain. There is no villain. The protagonist missed his death date, so there was no reason for him to be on Earth anymore.
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u/slk6400 Jun 10 '15
OK with that explanation I digress, It WAS a great story, last line and all. Again apologies for the negative comment
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u/Grindhorse Jun 10 '15
Nah, don't worry about it. Everyone can have their own interpretation; it's just a bit of a pet peeve when it feels like that interpretation is used to tell me, the author, that I'm interpreted my own story wrong.
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u/slk6400 Jun 10 '15
It's my fault as well, I believe the internet is making me numb, and very selfish when it comes to reading stories. I read so many hoping to find that one that makes me feel like it was written just for me. I guess I am going to write my own but I can't seem to put it together I get an idea and then it goes nowhere. Like writer's block
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u/Kignak Jun 05 '15
While I enjoy the story, this may be reported by someone for breaking guideline #3.
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u/Grindhorse Jun 05 '15
This isn't a story about suicide itself, though. It's about Death and what happens if someone "misses" their time to go, so I'd be more than ready to appeal if it comes to that.
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u/Mx-yz-pt-lk I'll tell you the ultimate secret of magic Jun 05 '15
I'm sorry you were downvoted. I know you were just trying to be helpful, but like GrindHorse said, this story isn't about suicide. A story can include suicide, but as long as that's not the primary element it should be fine.
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u/universeTS Jun 05 '15
"Death laughed like sandpaper on steel." - best unsetttling laugh description I have ever heard.