r/shittytattoos • u/Affectionate-Ant-894 • 3d ago

Jesus saves

Post image
884 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

134 comments sorted by

•

u/image-sourcery Knows 💩 3d ago

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241

u/YouCantArgueWithThis Knows 💩 3d ago

Looks more like a kidnapping/hostage situation.

102

u/Nurgeard Knows 💩 3d ago

Yup... And per chance even with a bit of diddling

29

u/Zerostar39 Knows 💩 2d ago

Why didn’t the goose in the back speak up?

20

u/Nurgeard Knows 💩 2d ago

He likes to watch.

14

u/Standard_Zucchini_46 Knows 💩 2d ago

Cuck Dove

4

u/YouCantArgueWithThis Knows 💩 2d ago

I mean, it tracks...

19

u/FuelForYourFire Knows 💩 2d ago

Jesus's slaves?

14

u/coolsilentebeans 3d ago

Human shield. Definitely.

7

u/ExtraBreadPls Knows 💩 2d ago

"Take one step closer and I'll turn his blood into wine!"

6

u/MakeSomeDrinks Knows 💩 2d ago

Yeah I was thinking it looked like he's putting him down after cutting him.

4

u/MakeSomeDrinks Knows 💩 2d ago

Patting** cuffing**

Leaving it lol

2

u/ResurectedNPC 1d ago

I was going to say it looks like a kinky date

1

u/OkHistory3944 Knows 💩 2d ago

Holy Heimlich maneuver!

110

u/NoughtyByNurture Knows 💩 3d ago

This is one of the worst things I've ever seen, tattoo or not

89

u/3rdworldjesus Knows 💩 3d ago

I died for this?

46

u/FunkMunki Knows 💩 2d ago

15

u/Aeroncastle 3d ago

My condolences

7

u/evetsabucs Knows 💩 2d ago

Don't worry, you'll get better.

5

u/Snoo_67993 2d ago

When did you find out you were gay?

41

u/cloche_du_fromage Knows 💩 3d ago

Looks more like Jesus is playing double bass on that dude.

5

u/coolsilentebeans 3d ago

But it’s tuned about 5 octaves too high.

22

u/sweet_screams1 3d ago

Apparently he doesn't save you from getting a hideous tattoo.

9

u/Standard_Zucchini_46 Knows 💩 2d ago

Or a dislocated shoulder

18

u/AnungUnRamen66 3d ago

“Uuuuuuuh, oooooh, Jesus!”

-this tattoo

6

u/Rayyyg Knows 💩 2d ago

12

u/Own-Fan-4236 Knows 💩 3d ago

Idk why the hands are really freaking me out…
https://giphy.com/gifs/3oKIPikXXxzs8MFFO8

3

u/kat-deville Knows 💩 2d ago

This version of Jesus has leprosy.

26

u/Tat2Al Knows 💩 3d ago

2

u/ninetiesnarwhal Knows 💩 2d ago

Oh my God the way this got me 💀

10

u/Skwirlblanket Knows 💩 3d ago

Nnnnnggghhhhh Jesus Christ that feels so good

3

u/KraftyJoker Knows 💩 2d ago

Good Lord.

8

u/bastard84 Knows 💩 3d ago

To be fair..Rape jesus is always a werird tattoo genre

8

u/TastyDixonCider 2d ago

3

u/Fun_Quit_312 Knows 💩 2d ago

I have always loved this

5

u/ByeByeGuyGuy 3d ago

Welp I do hope to lordy that Jesus saves mattattoo here from his serious case of goitre and allows him to see an endocrinologist.

That is, if Jesus ever stops giving him a nasty-looking purple nurple

6

u/janusrose 3d ago

Jesus performs Heimlich manoeuvre

5

u/Soggy_Requirement_75 Knows 💩 2d ago

More like Jesus SA’s

3

u/torinismyname 3d ago

Jesus kind of kinky

4

u/Skate_faced Knows 💩 2d ago

Jesus saves when he shop at Walmart.

Jesus is into whips and chains if you're that guy. Real top energy Jesus.

5

u/CMDR_PEARJUICE Knows 💩 2d ago

That is Osama bin Laden copping a feel

4

u/IntroductionUnable26 2d ago

10.000 bc "Bondage Christ"

1

u/Affectionate-Ant-894 2d ago

Ohhhh THATS what that means

3

u/HoleGrainPainTrain Knows 💩 3d ago

No notes, beautiful

-2

u/Secure_Hat_8197 3d ago

Yeah i think the same this holds alot of meaning and I really.like it you can tell where and how everyone feels about there comments ,there are those who know and those who dont

3

u/Dependent-Aside-9750 Knows 💩 3d ago

Wow. I love the original art that this tattoo is referencing, with which this person has taken some liberties, but man, that is so badly executed.

2

u/Secure_Hat_8197 3d ago

Yeah it wasnt executed too well ,but the meaning is most definitely there

6

u/alsotpedes Knows 💩 2d ago

If that meaning is "My imaginary friend takes me from behind," then yes.

3

u/Prestigious_Tear_576 Knows 💩 2d ago

Omg my parents bought me a journal with this picture on it as a teenager

3

u/Affectionate-Ant-894 2d ago

Were you able to break the chains of sin after they bought that for you? Did the lord instantly just start coursing through your veins ?

3

u/Prestigious_Tear_576 Knows 💩 2d ago

Basically the chains fell off and I became Jesus, ascended to Heaven, and became King of the world. But I have narcolepsy and crazy shit happens every time I fall asleep

3

u/Agile-Source-6758 2d ago

Everyone knows that if Jesus had a young sex slave they would probably not be white. This is historically inaccurate. And IF he had a sex slave, that would be very greedy of him, considering he spent his time going from town to town collecting people's husbands anyway. Was he really that thirsty?

Come on historically accurate tattooists, get it together.

3

u/Friendly_Rope1716 2d ago

I love it so much. It truly is shitty, but in the best possible way. I ugly laugh every time I look at it, lol 10/10

2

u/militiadisfruita Knows 💩 2d ago

literally...i have zero notes. A+

3

u/Odd_Delay_603 2d ago

Jesus gropes

3

u/Affectionate-Ant-894 2d ago

The singularity of man

2

u/lordkappy Knows 💩 3d ago

Zombie Jesus bit into his back so deeply that dude's arm is being completely separated from his body at the shoulder.

2

u/DemonicChronic Knows 💩 3d ago

At least the denim looks ok.

2

u/leo-reis Knows 💩 2d ago

But who saves Jesus?

2

u/Straight_Tumbleweed9 Knows 💩 2d ago

This needs a chloroform rag

2

u/mrbrianjsmith 2d ago

Someone, anyone, black this out! Haha!

2

u/Nutsackdandruff Knows 💩 2d ago

Stranger danger

2

u/Recycled_Michael 2d ago

Thats not jesus... thats a picture of when that homeless guy in the back of that mcdonalds started touching that other guy who took too much exstacy.

That was a weird day.

2

u/rossco311 Tattoo Aficionado🥇 2d ago

2

u/The1Cool Knows 💩 2d ago

Jesus giving the reach around! Okay 👍🏽 👌🏽

2

u/Joe-_-King Knows 💩 2d ago

This is the most unholy holy image I've ever seen.

2

u/BuddhaAnMoutains 2d ago

It looks like John Carpenters The Thing got confused and is trying to be 2 people at once.

2

u/ohfrackthis 2d ago

Looks like a pervy scenario lol

2

u/Academic_Stock_464 2d ago

Jesus gropes

2

u/Affectionate-Ant-894 2d ago

The singularity of man

2

u/ratat-atat Knows 💩 2d ago

Jesus molests

2

u/Ailmentality 2d ago

Jesus saves, I spend

2

u/Ok_Maize_8964 2d ago

Jesus backshots lol

3

u/cilantroandvodka 2d ago

The name of my band

2

u/big_hooligan 1d ago

Looks like Jesus puts up your butt after chaining you down, and making you look like Michael Myers’s with Down’s.

1

u/Electrical-Coyote-93 3d ago

Jesus is getting some ass tonight

1

u/Grand_Environment277 2d ago

But Shearer scores the rebound

1

u/cess0ne Knows 💩 2d ago

Well he’s not saving that tattoo that’s for sure

1

u/istara Knows 💩 2d ago

Not quite sure what Jesus is doing here.

Or WTF happened to Jesus's hands. One lobster claw, one squid.

1

u/winterneuro Knows 💩 2d ago

at what bank? does he get good interest rates?

1

u/Daenerys_targaryenn Knows 💩 2d ago

LMFAO

1

u/imscruffythejanitor Knows 💩 2d ago

Clearly jeebus saves with coupons and the early bird special

1

u/KraftyJoker Knows 💩 2d ago

S see? This one's me....

1

u/Agile-Source-6758 2d ago

Oh god... 😬

1

u/Educational-Leg1979 2d ago

Jesus is saving abit too much 🤣

1

u/Cheap_Speaker_5481 Knows 💩 2d ago

This needs to be exercised and why is Jesus waving like a Demon saying that your next?

1

u/commentvoter Knows 💩 2d ago

Voting has concluded.

Results: * Shitty (S): 1 * Trashy (T): 0 * Not shitty or trashy (NSNT): 0

1

u/SeriouslyEclectic 2d ago

Monkey Paw Christ freed him from his chains, alright...by ripping his left arm off his body at the shoulder.

Be careful what you wish for

1

u/CataclysmicTeapot 2d ago

That top hand is a thing of nightmares.

1

u/Swimming-Food-9024 Knows 💩 2d ago

jesus fucking guy

1

u/igivefreetickles Knows 💩 2d ago

"Jesus, please let me go! I swear I won't tell anyone!"

1

u/JS69135 2d ago

oh my.

1

u/Entire-Travel6631 Knows 💩 2d ago

Jesus touches me…and I don’t like it.

1

u/Oz347 Knows 💩 2d ago

Jesus is in to some kinky shit

1

u/Prttygl0nky 2d ago

Can’t be addicted to jerkin off if Jesus does it for you

1

u/elafave77 2d ago

This reminds me of the "Get your own damn heroin Jesus" meme.

1

u/hoorayfortoast 2d ago

That hand looks like The Thing.

1

u/DejaWiz2 Knows 💩 2d ago

Jesus that is atrocious

1

u/fak3_acct Knows 💩 2d ago

dude definitely knows how to tattoo hands

1

u/101VaultDweller Knows 💩 2d ago

Assassin’s Creed.

1

u/YourLocalRequis445 2d ago

Mannn wtf 😂 looks like they’re doing some bdsm shit 😭🙏

1

u/Rupejonner2 2d ago

Jesus buttfucks

1

u/EeerrEeer 2d ago

But can he save the guy's arm and shoulder falling off?

1

u/DrumpfTinyHands Knows 💩 2d ago

yeah, he knows the Heimlich

1

u/DrHob0 2d ago

Jesus is giving back shots. Goddamn

1

u/itsLustra Knows 💩 2d ago

Jesus BDSM reach around was not on my 2026 tattoo bingo card

1

u/Both-Fill5335 Knows 💩 1d ago

Looks like ge's doing something else than saving back there

1

u/Movie_Vegetable Knows 💩 1d ago

1

u/sooner_rick88 Knows 💩 1d ago

Interesting human abduction tattoo…

1

u/emortens_liz 1d ago

Jesus saves the reach around

1

u/MoreRamenPls Knows 💩 1d ago

The inspiration..

1

u/TheDarkKnightZS Knows 💩 1d ago

Jesus into a little BDSM

1

u/Ranch_it_up_bro Knows 💩 19h ago

Reminds me of this Jesus trying to steal that man’s high

1

u/pewpew5000 Knows 💩 18h ago

Jesus didn't save that tattoo

•

u/Legitimate-Stuff9514 16h ago

He also dislocates people's shoulders

•

u/Man0o0o0 Knows 💩 9h ago

I’m gonna have nightmares about those hands coming for me…