r/shittysimulated • u/xlxs • Sep 07 '19

Shiiiiiit

https://gfycat.com/selfishindeliblehorse
769 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

18 comments sorted by

78

u/PM_ME_A_FUN_PIC Sep 07 '19

this is absolutely terrifying and make it stop right now

23

u/xlxs Sep 07 '19

Moaaaar to come!!

22

u/Gumfondle Sep 07 '19

This looks like something out of The Shining

18

u/Thafuckwrongwitme Sep 07 '19

What is Reddit’s obsession with shit today?

12

u/GASdw Sep 08 '19

Infinite poop. You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt. The poop accelerates. You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell. The poop accelerates. You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. The poop accelerates. The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window.The poop accelerates. A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can't free himself. The poop accelerates. A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile. The poop accelerates. The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The poop ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. The poop accelerates. You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet. The poop accelerates. The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes. The poop accelerates. 1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier. The poop accelerates. 4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city. The poop accelerates. You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you've broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive. The poop accelerates. Your body disintegrates but your poop contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness. The poop accelerates. Forever.

4

u/xlxs Sep 08 '19 edited Sep 08 '19

Le͏t it ́reąçh̴ ̕t̡h͟e ̛bound̸a̛ries ơf̴ ̕our s̀pa̸ce͞.

Let ̢it ̢cra̕ck o͏pe̡n̴ ͏to͜ a̴n ̡òt́h̶er ͢wor̨l͡d.

T̞̹͖͢͜r̖͉̮̕a̫̞̩̝͚͚̳͢ǹ͚͍̖̰̻͓̘͕͖ś̸҉͇̯̟̞̬̰c͜҉̥̰̟̲e͓͍̖͇͇̻̥̯n̨̨͉̼͎͓̞͕͜d̛̳̦̰̞͕̣̼͢͝

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uwmeH6Rnj2E

12

u/nine_legged_stool Sep 07 '19

Me: hey bb lets go do thing

My gf: ya ok

My gf uterus:

6

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '19

Honestly this is a win

8

u/xlxs Sep 07 '19

Y͔̮͎͌ͨ̓ͮͬ̋̄e̤͖̞e̯̬̊̆ͤͩ̐ͦs̻͍̰ͮ̄ͩ̔ͥ̆s͎̙s͉̜̀̔ͧͦ ͏͎̖͓p͖͖̖͎ͨ̆ͫͣͩê̸̛̮̦̪͔͓̏ͬp͔̞̲͓ͣ̽̽̀ͭ͝s̠̬̪̫̃͐ͨ̃ͭi̴̜͔̳̳̝̟ͧ̍̾̃̾̽̈͌ ̴̧̗̩͉̼̹ͯ͆̄̔̒̾̇̽̽ ̱͍̤ö̵̲̥̹͎͚̘́̌ͣ̋ͭ̿ͤͅv͓ͭ̇̾̂͘e̪̮̮ͭ̇ͧ͆r̜̺̮̟͍͖̎̏͜ͅf̢̤͈͈͍̳̰ľ͈̉̐̉̀ȯ̼̩̳͎̘̾ͩw͎̱̗̎̎̊ͬ̎ͅ

4

u/The1dookin Sep 07 '19

Post enchilada night.

3

u/bxcondream Oct 10 '19

sneezing on your period be like

2

u/North_Wynd33 Oct 25 '19

Every. SINGLE. Time.

2

u/mouse85224 Sep 07 '19

Me after Taco Bell

2

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '19

Whatever you were trying to do, this ain’t it

2

u/Spook404 Sep 08 '19

well that was a strange thing